The Stepford Wives Page #7

It's to commemorate the time

he took a young virgin to the theatre

and faked her up to his room.

Hell, I had to lose it sometime.

- The coast is clear. Come on, girls.

- Right.

- Anyway, will you do it for me?

- Do what?

Take care of the kids and the dog

for the weekend.

Oh, I know it's just a horrible thing

to even think about, isn't it? Forget it.

- No. Yes, it is, but OK.

- You will?

The girls at least

will love having the dog.

Ever since dear old Fred departed,

they've been after me

- to get another one.

- Yes.

- I don't know about Walter, though.

- What do you mean?

Well, you know, Walter hates noise.

- I want one!

- Me!

The dog's under the table, for crying...

Hey, there's a dog under the table.

Honey, can I have

some more coffee, please?

Dolly is...

Dolly's under the table here.

I wish you would...

Can I have

some more coffee, please?

How many pancakes are you

gonna give...? Yeah, thank you.

- Joanna.

- Yeah?

Look, I played Monopoly with them.

I didn't pass go, I didn't collect.

I played backgammon. I played

Scrabble with the goddamn kids.

They're in the kitchen now.

What do you want me to do?

Walter, you've had seven years

of college. Use your brain.

I'm sorry, but I'm onto something,

and I think maybe it's the best I've ever

done. And I wanna stick with it.

But how do I amuse them?

I amuse them seven days a week.

They know all the

Sesame Street songs.

- Have a sing-along.

- A sing-along.

Jesus.

Mr Atkinson, I've been at these

since Saturday, just about nonstop,

because I had to get them into

some sort of shape for you to see

because I think

they're an improvement,

and you've got to think so too.

I'm doing all the talking, I know,

but these are my little girls

and those are someone else's,

my best friend's little boys.

And you've just got to tell me,

am I crazy?

Aren't they good?

Please say something.

I don't care.

No, I do care.

Don't say anything bad.

These are really quite good.

You're not saying that because you're

frightened I might be a crazy lady?

Clearly, you are a crazy lady,

but clearly, again, these are nice.

Wait a minute.

You said "good".

"Really quite good", you said.

Good is better than nice.

You're not changing your mind,

are you?

No. The results are lovely.

Don't get upset again.

Lovely is better than good.

But what fascinates me is,

what is it you want from it all?

Do you know?

I want...

...somewhere...

...someday, someone to look

at something and say,

"Hey, that reminds of an Ingles."

Ingles was my maiden name.

I guess I want to be remembered.

Yeah, don't we all?

Bobby?

- It's me.

- Kitchen.

I've just come from Atkinson's

in New York, and he loves my stuff.

Well, not loves, maybe, but he's

genuinely interested in my work.

The gallery for photographers.

That's wonderful, Joanna.

If you're going to tell me

you don't like this dress,

I'm sticking my head

right in the oven.

Dave bought it for me for the weekend.

He spent a ton on me.

How about the shape?

Padded uplift bra.

It's true what they say in the ads.

Oh, Joanna, Dave turned

me loose in Bergdorf's,

- and I went mad.

- Bobby.

At The Plaza, some guy tried

picking me up in the lobby.

You know how long it's been

since that happened?

Of course, I did look terrific.

Bobby, you're not at The Plaza now, so

why are you wearing all that makeup?

You never even used to clean

your kitchen, much less wear makeup.

Admit it, Joanna, I was a joke.

Dave works hard all day long,

and what does he come home to?

- A slob.

- Bobby, it's gotten to you now.

Nothing's got me.

I just want to look like a woman and

keep my house looking decent too.

- You're just like Charmaine.

- Will you stop?

And you're not going to leave

Stepford either, are you?

Leave Stepford?

Good schools, low taxes, clean air?

No. You're right.

- Shall I make us a nice pot of coffee?

- No, no. I've really got to go now.

Stop by any time. I'll be here.

- Oh, my God, look out!

- Watch out!

OK, so you're upset. So you pass

a school bus, and you dent the wagon.

Bobby Markowe buys a new bra,

and I gotta pay for a new mailbox

for the Van Sants.

So what? So, what are you

talking about, Joanna?

Why can't you understand?

Her kitchen was sparkling.

Yeah, so you said.

Look, I hate to come on

like the heavy,

but what's that got to do

with you going crazy?

It wasn't just that.

It wasn't just anything.

She's changed!

And stop telling me I'm crazy.

Are you two fighting?

- No.

- We don't like it when you fight.

Look, we're not fighting. We're just

talking. Now, come on, you guys.

Go on outside, all right?

Oh, boy. This is really terrific.

This is really terrific for them,

you know.

Yeah, I remember when my mother

and father used to yell at each other.

- I didn't want them to go through this.

- Well, neither do I.

I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry about

the car, but I was panicked and upset.

Oh, look. That's no big deal.

It's the rest of it that bothers me.

Just try to look at it

from my point of view, Joanna.

Walter, I just want to say

one thing to you.

Bobby really has changed.

Believe me.

Everything in her house

looked like a TV commercial.

Well, good. Good.

She had to clean it sooner or later.

It looked like a goddamn pigsty.

I mean, when are things

gonna start sparkling around here?

That's what I'd like to know.

I mean, just look at the way

my kids are dressed. Ragamuffins.

Jeez, I work 80 hours a week.

I live in a great house, and my kids

look like they belong on welfare.

Look, if you paid a little more attention

to your family and a little less

- to your goddamn picture-taking...

- I'm getting the hell out of Stepford.

I'm getting us a house now,

and if it's hard on you, tough.

And if it's hard on the kids,

I'll ease up on my goddamn picture-

taking and stay around the house,

and believe me, they'll survive.

That's what I'm talking about, Walter,

is surviving.

OK. All right.

I mean, I'll take a loss

on this great house if I have to.

But there's one condition,

or we don't go anywhere.

You see somebody. You get

some help. You see a psychiatrist.

I'm fine.

I don't need to see anybody.

Yeah, well, you say you're fine,

but me, I'd like another opinion

because I'm not too anxious

to move to Eastbridge

and after four months there, be told

by my sweet wife we got to move again

because she doesn't like the way her

neighbours keep their houses clean.

Look, I'm not asking anything

unreasonable, and I don't like asking it.

But you want me to disrupt our lives

for the second time

in a couple of months

on some fixation you've gotten.

Now, that's the unreasonable part.

You've got to see that.

You and me,

we don't have to fight about this.

We're going to move.

It's only a few more weeks.

It doesn't have to be

anything dramatic.

There's a couple of topnotch guys

right here in town.

Just talk to one of them.

They'd see you.

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