The Tiger's Tail Page #2

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Mum? I found him.

Where are we?

We're in a story by Kafka.

You know, Franz Kafka. He's chasing

his double and quoting Hamlet.

No, I'm not drinking. Well, I might

have a Shirley Temple later.

Connor!

- You're so cute.

- Hi, Samantha.

No one. A girl from school.

I have to go.

Look at me and you're dead.

Do you believe in doppelgngers, Liam?

No, I don't.

"No, I don't. "

Then what can I be, your clone?

I don't know.

- You were adopted, weren't you?

- I wasn't adopted.

- You sure about that, hot shot?

- Course I am.

Twins. Let's say we're twins.

You tried to shoot me.

That wasn't very brotherly, was it?

It's like...

...everything is so now with E.

There's no then,

and you can really see with E.

Everything.

I can see your soul.

With my soul.

It's kind of mauve.

And you can feel it.

Soft and spongy.

And it's... it's like we're merging

or something.

Connor!

I'm sorry. It's my dad.

Or it could be his double.

You have a double?

- Yeah.

- Cool!

- You free?

- Yup.

- Come on, I'll take you home.

- I don't feel well.

Come home with me.

You're grand, see? You're fine.

She's like...

Everyone is crazy about her.

I mean, she never spoke to me before.

Never looked at me even.

Well, it happens. It can happen.

That was your mother and me.

Everybody wanted her,

but she chose me.

For better or worse.

Dad, she said she loves me.

So you could see him

and Connor couldn't.

It was dark. Connor missed him.

I really think

you should see someone.

I'll make an appointment for you.

Dr Loden is a wonderful man.

The person I need to see

is my mother.

Get her up there.

Why does she have to be naked?

That better?

It's only me!

It's a lovely day, Maeve.

This is my son.

The one who pays your wages.

- And did you see him on the telly?

- I did indeed.

- Lovely to meet you, Mr O'Leary.

- Liam.

Liam. I'll get your lunch now.

It's OK, I'll do that, Nurse.

OK. Well, I have to go

and do some shopping.

It's fine. Take the day off.

Go on, go on, go on.

He's the boss, he's the boss.

OK. Alright, then. Bye, then.

See you tomorrow, Maeve, OK?

Did you see my son on the telly?

I did indeed.

Bye.

"I dreamt I was a fish

in the roaring sea. "

"And I made a wish to be a boy. "

"And I woke, and I was. "

"But a bit of me

will always be fish

And belong to the sea. "

You were nine.

I thought

you were going to be a poet.

Look at you now.

You've made poetry

out of them buildings.

Thank you.

Mammy...

...was I adopted?

But you are of my flesh, son.

Your sister bore you.

She was 15 and...

We sent her to England to have you.

I put padding under my frock.

A bigger pillow each month.

A common enough story in Ireland

in those days, son.

But she came back with you.

And we mothered you, the both of us.

She had twins, didn't she?

Twins?

No, of course not.

What makes you say that?

Do you think

I haven't suffered all these years?

Not being able to claim you?

Having to watch Mammy hold you

and parade you?

There were two of us, weren't there?

Two of you?

Yeah, two of us.

Twins.

No, Liam. No twins, just you.

You're still lying to me.

- No.

- You are.

There was another,

and he's here in Dublin,

and he's trying to hurt me.

Oh, my God!

Thanks.

I never told Mammy.

Why not?

It was hard enough for her, you know?

Taking on a baby.

I couldn't saddle her

with two of you.

I just couldn't.

Can you ever forgive me, Liam?

Right now, I'm concentrating

on finding out who I am.

Who's my father?

He's long dead, Liam.

- I need a name.

- No.

I have a right.

Moriarty.

- Moriarty?

- Yes.

I'm a Moriarty, am I?

Are you there, Moria-rity?

Father Moriarty?

Not the parish f***ing priest?

Yes.

Classic!

And the girls all cry as I pass by

Are you there, Moria-rity?

You want to share the joke?

Gimme a fiver

and I won't scratch your car!

Get away from that.

Another fiver and I'll stop them

from scratching it.

OK, it's a deal.

Is Father Andy in?

Here comes another sinner

roaring for a priest.

Liam. I thought we'd never get you

down here.

- How are you doing, Andy?

- Sure, I'm good.

We bought a new kitchen

with your donation.

- Would you like to see it?

- Yeah. Yeah.

That's not why you're here, is it?

Come round.

So, what is it?

I'm all messed up, Andy. I don't know

what I'm doing. Or why I'm doing it.

You always knew exactly who you were.

I envied you that.

Not any more.

- Maybe you'll be born again.

- Yeah!

Better get in there.

Break it up! Break it up!

Break it up! Break it up!

Break it up!

It's funny how it turned out.

You build homes

and I help the homeless.

Yeah.

The thing is, the more homes you

build, the more homeless there are.

- That's ridiculous.

- Prices go up,

people can't afford them,

they end up here.

Liam, you remember Felim?

He was at school with us.

- Liam!

- Felim! How are you doing?

Look at you!

You look...

Would you have the loan of a tenner?

- I'm a bit short at the moment.

- Yeah.

No worries, yeah.

Felim, you were some hurler

in your day.

What happened to you?

Life. Life happened to me.

May I touch the hem of your garment?

Maybe some of the luck'd rub off.

Maybe some of the luck'd rub off!

Felim, here's your tea.

He was abused.

A lot of us were abused.

Get over it. Get on with it.

It takes people different ways, Liam.

Probably egged you on.

- How about you?

- I put my faith in God.

And has he let you down? Has he?

I told you he would

when you signed up.

It's good to see you again.

Yeah, you, too.

Remember Father Moriarty? The parish

priest when we were growing up?

- Did you ever come across him again?

- Sure, everybody knew Paddy.

He was an awful rogue.

Wonderful character.

Big man.

Your build.

You knew.

Your crowd are awful tight.

I heard you on telly the other night.

"We've got the tiger by the tail

and if you let go of it, it's going to

turn round and bite the face off you. "

It's already biting, Andy.

The tiger can't get you here,

remember that.

Yeah. That's good.

Everybody's looking for you.

We've got problems.

- Cash-flow problems, tax problems...

- All is well, Declan.

Morning, ladies!

That includes you, Ken.

Jim Brady's been waiting half an hour

and we have to talk.

The press are calling.

Hacks with nasty minds.

- Let them wait.

- Your wife,

your friend the expensive minister,

your son,

Mr Paine, chief planner, well named!

I'll see him after Brady. Call

Harrison's, see if my suit is ready.

And that creep Bertie Brennan's

on his way up.

- I'll sort him.

- Go on!

Jim, how are you? Looking good.

Losing a bit of weight?

Your weight goes down

with your handicap.

That was a very entertaining speech

you made the other evening, Liam.

But I want to remind you,

that most of the 45 million you spent

on that land was ours, the bank's,

and lent to you on your guarantees

that all permissions were obtained.

Have I ever let you down?

This is a horse

of a different colour.

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