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The Warrior's Way
THE WARRIOR'S WAY (2010)
(male narrator) Okay.
Settle down.
Got your ears open?
(clears throat)
This is the story of a sad flute
a laughin' baby
and a weepin' sword.
A long, long time ago
in a land far, far away,
there lived a warrior...
warrior with empty eyes.
for one purpose.
To be the greatest swordsman
in the history of mankind.
He'd just achieved
his life's ambition,
but his heart felt emptier
than ever.
These two clans had been warrin'
for 500 years.
And they vowed to keep on warrin'
until one of them
didn't have a single man
left above Styx.
(giggles)
(coos, cries)
(coos, giggles)
And so now, here he was,
peerin' down
at this very last of his enemy.
(baby coos, laughs)
When that
little warrior princess giggled,
it did somethin' to him inside.
But this was no time for feelin'.
For when spared that baby's life,
he put his name at the top
of his own clan's death list.
With nothin' but the clothes on his back
and the baby in his arms,
he decided to pay a visit to an old
warrior friend in a faraway land.
Hey, Johnny.
I don't like your stinkin' face.
Easy, Ronald.
The name's Eight-Ball.
Like in the game.
Good luck for some,
bad luck for others.
How can I assist you,
my friend from the mystical East?
Uh-oh.
Haven't been here
since Smiley kicked the bucket.
Was a 3-day wait
just to get your shirts pressed.
(laughs)
For a guy who cleaned sheets all day,
he sure liked to make a mess
in the after-hours,
if you know what I mean.
See you in the morning.
(man) You came to me
to be strong.
I have made you the strongest.
She will always be the enemy.
(baby crying in distance)
(bellows)
Here it is.
Just rub some on your shoulder.
Smiley's Oriental cure-all.
Works like a charm.
(crying)
Now, honey,
It's alright there. It's okay.
Ssh, ssh, ssh.
Sorry about the tap I gave ya.
I thought you knew the sword.
Smiley was always yabberin' on about
a guy who was gonna roll into town.
But I shoulda figgered.
What do you call her?
I do not know.
Oh. She's not yours?
Where's her folks?
Dead.
Oo-ee, best we find you
another diaper.
Alright.
Smiley like
your uncle or something?
Friend.
Well, if you were his friend,
maybe he would like for you
to take over his laundry.
- Do not know how.
- So I'll teach ya.
I always done the laundry
around here.
That's how I repaid Smiley
for teaching me the sword.
Tell you what I'm gonna do.
You stay here, I'll teach you how
to tie a diaper properly.
We'll be partners, 60:40.
You are the 40.
Alright now,
time to get to work.
Dang, you're slower
than molasses in January.
(fly buzzing)
You clean that real good,
yellow boy.
As clean
as Snow White's panties...
If I find the smallest bit
of condor crap on my fancy duds...
- Well, we gonna have us...
- (crunch)
Didn't I tell you I'd rip 'em off
if you don't watch yourself?
Let go, evil midget!
Come on, Eight-Ball,
we were just havin' us some fun.
- Really?
- Ah! (grunts)
Okay... okay...
Let go.
- (laughs)
- Get outta here!
How 'bout a home-cooked meal
for you and your little 'un?
Once that Ferris wheel is finished,
it's gonna bring everybody rushin' back,
And then we can take the word
"travelling" out of "travelling circus."
Hey, Ron.
(slurring) Welcome to the
Get down here!
The chow bell ringin'!
Ha!
(light applause)
(woman) Bravo, bravo.
(laughs, applause)
Gonna grab some vittles with us?
No thanks.
Not hungry.
I-I-I b-baked a cake.
Come on, Ron!
What the hell's up with her?
You, I knew you was trouble the moment
you walked into this...
(gurgles)
(snores, laughter)
(woman singing operatically)
(squeals)
Sounds even better from inside.
(singing continues)
You ever seen
one ofthese before?
The sound it's makin'?
It's called "opera."
Day my poppa found his first chunk
of gold,
he went out and bought this thing.
Listen.
Here's my favorite part.
(narrator) So at the edge of the desert,
in a busted town full of broken people,
the warrior began to learn stuff
he shoulda learned a long time ago.
(squishing)
No, no! Rough!
Like the joy
of gettin' dirty things clean.
(laughs)
Yes!
Woo hoo! That's me!
(laughs) Thank you!
I told you to aim at the line,
not at the coin!
All right! (laughs)
He also learned the joy of losing.
You're gonna need blood and bone of
about 100 dead buffaloes as fertilizer.
Smiley always tried
to get something to grow.
Never, ever lasted too long.
workin' with folks.
And findin' the simple peace
in some private time
after a hard day's work.
(door bell chimes)
What's takin' you so long?
Come on, Skinny!
You gonna miss it. Come on.
(door bell chimes, door closes)
(train whistle blows)
And he found that it's nice
to have a few friends around
when the sun goes down.
But most of all, the warrior learned
there's a heck of a lot more pleasure
makin' things grow
than there is in cuttin' 'em down.
(laughter)
You bunch of pups!
Gimme back that goddamn bottle!
You win.
Show me what you got.
God damn!
I shoulda never taught you this game!
You a shark with a poker face.
What happened to her?
(woman whimpers) Please!
Help me!
- Help me!
- Lynne!
- Please! Let her go!
- Someone, help me!
- Eight-Ball!
- Lynne!!
(man) Hungry?
No?
Pretty thing.
Aagh!
Agh! Aah!
Damn you!
(pistol c*cks)
Noooo!
(grunting, crowd murmuring)
No! Lynne! Lynne!
Agh!
No!!
(woman sobs, gunshots)
No!!
Only thing was,
when we went to bury her,
she was still breathing.
Never known nobody
that close to kickin' it.
We didn't know what to do wit' her,
if'n she was gonna live or die.
So we just put her in bed
and waited.
Two days,
and she was eating soup.
By the day three, she was already
sitting up somehow
and slinging daggers
at the wall.
But God ain't fair.
And some people
just ain't cut out for the knife.
Dang it.
My arm ain't worth a damn.
It is not your arm.
What'd you say?
Ouch!
Now you sure about this?
'Cause I'm not so good
with my eyes open.
Throw.
I can't do it.
Do not talk. Focus.
It is your heart that shakes.
You dead?
Not yet.
Sure you're not fountainin' blood
or anything, are ya?
Oh, sh*t!
(laughs) Ha!
I did it!
Thank you,
Mr. Sad Flute.
Smiley told me everything.
I just taught you to focus.
Why you do that?
Okay.
I've always been dyin' to know.
Why are y'all called
The Sad Flutes?
So you got lady Sad Flutes,
too?
Sad Flutinas or somethin'?
Yes.
Wow! That's nice.
Jumpin' in the moonlight and kissin'
as you both fly under the stars
to the tunes of The Sad Flutes...
We are called Sad Flutes
because when you cut the throat,
the last sound is like a sad flute.
Dang!
Skinny, sure know how to throw
a dead cat into a party room, don't ya?
Why'd you become a Sad Flute?
To be strong.
That it?
My father was working in the field.
I was helping him.
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"The Warrior's Way" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 6 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_warrior's_way_21603>.
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