The Westerner

Hey, wire.

Wire. They've

drawn a fence across there.

Them plow-pushers must have

put it up there last night.

Give me them wire cutters.

I'll fix this.

Cow herders!

Hey, cornhuskers!

Shad Wilkins, you've

been tried and found guilty

of the most serious crime west of the Pecos,

to wit, shooting a steer.

Got anything to say for yourself before

the sentence of the court is executed?

I told you they shot at me first!

I didn't mean to kill that steer on purpose!

I was aiming at the man.

It's your bad luck you missed him.

That's the trouble with you sodbusters,

you can't shoot straight.

Shad,

may the Lord have mercy on your soul. Hey!

Buck, I want to see you.

Well, how's the hanging, there?

Well, his neck

didn't hardly stretch a foot.

Here's to the greatest woman in the world,

the fairest flower that ever bloomed,

- Lily Langtry.

- Miss Langtry.

Hold it, boys.

Did you hear the toast, stranger?

To Lily Langtry? I thought

you meant your friends.

I didn't know that included me.

That includes every man

that drinks at my bar.

Glad to join you. Have

you ever met Miss Langtry?

No, I never met her. I never met the

sun, I never shook hands with the moon,

and I've never been introduced to no clouds.

That's all right. Too bad Lily

Langtry couldn't have heard that.

Did you ever see her?

No, I was in England once,

but didn't get around to it.

Oh, you was in England once,

and you could have seen her,

- but you never got around to it, eh?

- Yeah.

- Get out of my bar.

- Huh?

Get out of my bar!

- To the Jersey Lily.

Miss Langtry.

Here's how.

All right, Mort, if Shad's

good and cold, you can have him.

$4, that's all he had. I'll make

it up to you on the next one.

Get off.

- What you got there?

- A horse thief, Judge.

Prisoner of the bar.

- Get in there.

Chickenfoot, the law.

Hear ye, hear ye, court

of Vinegarroon is now in session.

What's the charge?

We caught him on Chickenfoot's

horse that was stole last week.

- My horse Pete? Where's he at?

- Right outside.

Well, so it is. Pete.

No, Your Honor. I was just

trying to get the lay of the land.

- You will, too, at the end of a rope.

Southeast, no anticipating.

Hey, Judge! Judge, that is my old

sabino pony. He's tied right out there.

People of Vinegarroon again...

You can use any name you like.

Cole Harden.

What are

you doing in Vinegarroon?

- Oh, just passing through.

- Homesteader?

- No.

Where do you hail from?

- No place in particular.

Where are you heading for?

- No place special.

- Oh, saddle bum, huh?

Well, it's all right to live on

a horse if it's your own horse.

Bart, turn loose the prisoner's

hands. Chickenfoot, swear him in.

Do you swear to

tell the truth... So help you?

Take off your hat!

Well, now, I'll tell you, son...

Are you Bean?

- Judge Roy W. Bean.

- My name's Jane Ellen Mathews.

Yes, Miss Mathews, what can I do for you?

- What have you done with Shad Wilkins?

- Shad Wilkins?

He was working in the fields

when some of your wranglers

came up and took him away.

Shad Wilkins. Shad Wilkins.

Oh, yeah, he was hanging around out there

a while back, but he ain't around now.

Your men not only took him away,

but they tore down the fence.

Not a stick of it was left standing.

That so?

Yes, that's so, and you needn't

pretend you don't know about it.

Well, it don't surprise me none.

It's against the law to

build fences hereabouts.

- What law? Whose law?

- Mine.

- Now, you listen to me, Mr. Bean.

- Judge Bean.

You're no more a judge than I

am. Just call yourself a judge.

I wouldn't say that if I was you. I

might consider it contempt of court.

It's contempt, all right.

You call this a court?

I do, and it happens to

be in session right now.

Southeast, get the young lady a chair.

Now, you sit down, Miss Mathews, and

I'll tend to your case in a minute.

You're charged with stealing

a horse. Guilty or not guilty?

Not guilty.

Where's exhibit A?

- Huh?

Where's the horse? Bring

in the horse, Chickenfoot.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, horse.

Miss Mathews, when cattle

can't get to water, they die.

There's miles of river on

each side of our homestead.

This country's unfenced rangeland.

It always was, and always will be.

Get in there. All

right, give me room there, you guys.

Come on, get in there.

Whoa, Pete. Come on in here.

Come on, get over there.

Give us a little room.

All right, Judge, there he is.

Mr. Harden, it's my duty to inform you

that the larceny of an equine is a

capital offense, punishable by death,

but you can rest assured that, in this court,

a horse thief always gets a

fair trial before he's hung.

- Chickenfoot, that's your horse?

- Oh, why, Judge...

Can you prove it's your horse?

Why, Judge, anybody here... I can prove

it by Pete himself that he's my horse.

Pete, you're my horse, ain't you?

Ownership of horse clearly

established. It belongs to Chickenfoot.

That's my ruling.

Well, I don't contest it, Your

Honor. Maybe the horse does belong

to Chickenfoot here, but I didn't steal it.

- How'd you get it then?

- I bought it.

Order in the court!

- That all you got to say?

- That's all.

No, it's not. I'm not going to stay here

and see anybody railroaded like this.

Miss Mathews, I don't recollect you

was summoned as a witness in this trial.

What kind of a trial is it when a prisoner

isn't even allowed to

have anybody speak for him?

You an attorney, Miss?

I'm as much an attorney as you are a judge.

- You know this man?

- No, I don't.

- You ever see him before?

- No, but...

- Can you prove he didn't steal the horse?

- No.

Then he don't need no lawyer then.

This man was caught on a stolen horse,

and in this jurisdiction,

that's prima facie evidence.

- The case is closed and that's my ruling.

- Yes, and it's just like all your rulings!

The courtroom will now

be cleared of everybody,

excepting the judge, the jury,

the prisoner, the witnesses and...

I guess that means you.

All right, I'll go. I

don't want to see anymore.

It's murder, that's what it is. Murder.

This man hasn't got a

chance, and you know it,

but you never give anybody a chance.

You didn't give us one when you

stampeded the cattle over our crops.

You thought you'd starve the

homesteaders out, but you didn't.

You can pester us and rob us and

kill us, but you can't stop us.

'Cause there'll always be

more coming. More and more.

And we'll stay on our farms in spite of

you, and your courtroom and your killers!

By gobs, she's all right.

She'd make a good cattleman.

If it wasn't for Lily, I'd marry her.

Giddap.

You heard the case against

the accused, pro and con.

Now I guess maybe you'd better

retire to consider a verdict.

Chickenfoot, you'd better take

Pete out for a little fresh air.

Take him out, Bart. I got work to do.

And while you retire, there'll be

a recess for them that's thirsty.

Well, I guess you can't take it with you.

It's got to be strictly understood

you ain't making no effort to influence

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