The Woodsman

On your left.

On your right.

You must check in

with your P.O. Once a week.

Your P.O. Is entitled

to visit at any time.

You cannot come

within 300 feet of...

You must register immediately

upon return...

- Walter?

- Hey, Bob.

It's good to see you.

That's Mary-Kay.

The only reason I'm doing this is 'cause

I know you did good work for my father.

So you be here on time.

You do your work.

I don't want

any kind of problem, period.

God, that looks awful.

Yeah.

Now, this looks good.

Want some? Homemade.

No, thanks.

You won't taste

a better chicken salad in town.

I said no, thank you.

I'm sorry. I got to get back to work.

- So, how are you adjusting?

- I'm adjusting okay.

- And your new apartment?

- Apartment's okay.

- How's the job?

- The job's okay.

Do I take "okay" to mean

you feel good about working there?

I said the job's okay.

That's right. You did.

- Vicki!

- F*** you, a**hole.

- Come on. What's wrong, huh?

- Kiss my ass.

Boy, you still think fast.

You don't need to think fast

to handle a beer.

Well, it took some talking

to convince your super I was a relative.

Yeah, well, I told her

all my relatives were good-looking.

- Jesus Christ, man, it's good to see you.

- Yeah, you too.

You look good...

damn good,

considering you're an old man now.

Feels like the whole world's

gotten younger.

So, you're doing okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

- How's business?

- Booming.

Can't keep up with the work.

In fact, I just hired a few new guys.

Just until, you know, we catch up.

Living across the street

from a grade school. Jesus.

Something wrong with that?

I'm just thinking of the noise.

It's the only landlord in town

who'll take my money.

So, how's Annette?

A little tense.

You know, you're the only member

of the family still speaking to me.

Yeah, well, I remember when

they all gave Annette sh*t...

because she married the brown-skinned boy

from down the street... except her brother.

And what about Annette?

I'm workin' on it.

- So how old is Carla?

- She's gonna be 12 next week.

We're gonna throw her

a big party on Saturday.

I wish I could ask you to come.

Good enough

to eat today, baby.

Ooh, yeah.

What the f*** do you think

you're doing, huh?

How'd you like it if someone did

that sh*t to your sister, huh?

Piece of sh*t!

F*** off!

Clean that sh*t up!

- Oh, yeah.

- Play with yourself, a**hole!

You okay?

What?

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm f***ing fantastic.

So, what'd he do?

- What did who do?

- You know, the new guy.

Drugs, armed robbery,

manslaughter...

Mind your business, Mary-Kay.

Have you made any friends there?

I'm not running for Mr. Popularity.

You seem a little hostile today.

It's called sarcasm, Dr. Rosen.

No need to call me doctor.

I'm a therapist, not a psychiatrist.

It's all the same to me.

Walter, I'd like you

to try something for me.

- What's that?

- I'd like you to keep a journal.

- No f***in' way.

- Why not?

Evidence.

Perhaps a journal would

encourage you to reflect.

Try it?

Sixteen, 17, 18, 19, 20.

How about that?

Want a ride?

- I'm all right.

- It's f***ing freezing out here.

- I'm fine.

- Come on. I won't bite.

Something wrong

with this picture.

Here's this nice, hard-working guy...

suddenly appears out of the blue.

Takes the bus to and from work.

I mean, who takes

the bus anymore?

People who don't have cars.

- It's very weird.

- Not as weird as a sharp, young...

good-looking woman

working in a lumberyard.

Oh, yeah?

What's weird about that?

Most women wouldn't choose it.

Guess I'm not like most women.

You never spoke to me before.

I thought you were a dyke.

- Are you?

- What do you think?

You plan on drinking

both those beers?

I'm sorry.

- Is that a school?

- K through sixth.

Doesn't it get noisy?

I like the noise.

I used to think you were shy...

but now I think it's something else.

What?

- Something happened to you.

- Yeah?

I'm not easily shocked.

I get that impression.

So, you gonna tell me your dark secret?

Why do you want to know?

Don't you think I should know

before we have sex?

I don't like to waste time.

So, you gonna tell me

your deep, dark secret?

No.

Okay.

So, you're not a dyke.

Not tonight.

Hey, that was intense.

You're still here.

I didn't say I didn't like it.

What are you doing?

This table's a heavy little b*tch, man.

It's cherry.

This wood. It's cherry.

It's a nice table.

It's my own design. You're not gonna

find another one like it in the world.

- It was a beautiful gift.

- So, why are you giving it back to me?

Because, man, you need a table.

Carlos, I made this table for you

and Annette as a wedding present.

- I put a lot into it.

- I know, man.

I love the table too.

But I also love my wife.

Hey, you got a beer?

"I watch the kids arrive at school.

But for the last few weeks,

I've noticed someone else watching them.

I call him Candy. "

She's at the top

of her class at school.

How about your kids?

- They're good.

- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah?

She's really doing great at school.

I don't see her much, but...

- I'd keep away from him.

- What?

The new guy.

I'd keep away from him

if I were you.

- Oh, yeah? Why's that?

- I think he's damaged goods...

real damaged.

- You know what I mean?

- Yeah, Mary-Kay, I think I do.

Thanks a bunch for the advice.

Suit yourself.

Close, but no ciggy.

Thanks, babe.

Thank you.

Hey, Walter.

Hello.

Hello.

You okay?

Walter, what did you do?

What happened to you?

Walter?

Why do you want to know?

Because I like you.

What's the worst thing

you ever did?

The worst?

I f***ed my best friend's husband.

I mean, my best friend

since second grade.

He had the hots for me and...

Yeah, he was cute.

We'd get it on for days.

And then he told her... the sh*t.

Broke up their marriage.

Ruined our friendship.

I still feel like the lowest piece of sh*t

when I think about that.

So, what did you do?

I molested little girls.

Twelve years in prison is no joke.

How young?

Between 10 and 12.

Once a nine-year-old

told me she was 11.

Once a 14-year-old

told me she was 12.

I always asked

how old they were.

What did you do to them?

It's not what you think.

I never hurt them.

Never.

Look...

I want you to go now, all right?

I told you

I'm not easily shocked.

Yeah, well, you should be shocked.

- Or do you get off on this sh*t?

- What?

When will I be normal?

We have a lot of work to do.

- Will I ever be normal?

- What's your idea of being normal?

What's your idea

of being a f***in' shrink?

- Sorry.

- Watch where you're going.

Sorry.

So what's happening?

Braves are kicking the sh*t

out of the Phillies.

F***ing Phillies.

It's just the beginning of the season.

You got to give them a chance.

- So, how was the party?

- What party?

- The birthday party.

- F***. It was great.

You should have seen Carla.

She was so pretty.

She looked like a princess.

She's the light of my life, man.

You don't want

to love them too much though.

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