The World's End Page #10

Your reliance on profanity is a measure of

your immaturity as a man and a species.

Why don't you just get in your rocket and

f*** off back to Legoland, you c*nts!

Yeah! Stop f***ing

Starbucking us, man! Yeah!

It is our duty

to challenge you.

Just leave us to our own devices,

you intergalactic arseholes.

You misunderstand.

Shut up!

We are trying...

Nobody's listening!

If you'd only...-

Face it, we are the human race and

we don't like being told what to do.

Just what is it

that you want to do?

We want to be free!

Yeah.

We want to be free to

do what we want to do!

Yeah.

We want to get loaded.

Yeah.

And we want to

have a good time.

And that's what

we're going to do.

It is pointless

arguing with you.

You will be left to

your own devices.

Really?

Yeah.

F*** it.

They f***ed off.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Up yours! Up yours! Up yours!

Yeah, we did it!

We won, we won!

Gary, let's Boo-Boo.

Yeah, it's sh*t here,

innit?

Oi, up here!

Go!

Get up.

Come on!

Well done.

Thanks a bunch. Had to go

and spoil it, didn't you?

Yeah, happy now?

Basil, what do we do now?

Same as before.

Go!

Where's The Beast?

The Beast is dead,

mate.

You know what... You know

what's really annoying?

What?

I promised myself I

wouldn't die in this town.

You're not gonna.

I think our luck just changed.

Whoo-hoo!

Oh!

Sorry!

Sam?

Yes.

You came back for us!

Yes, I did. Well, I got lost

on the ring road. But, yes.

Hi, Sam, could you give us

a lift to London, please?

Did you find out what

happened to my brother?

We'll tell you on the way.

Sorry about the mess. I've

been meaning to clear that up.

We forgive you. Let's go.

Which way?

Backwards!

Which way now?

Go straight over!

We can make it.

We're gonna make it.

We made it!

I'm sorry.

I know.

I know.

Everyone remembers

where they were

when the lights went out

on Planet Earth.

Me, Gary, Steven and Sam, we were

standing right by the switch.

I guess it was

a big night for everyone.

That morning gave a whole new

meaning to the word "hangover"

We decided to walk it off,

all the way back to London,

but the headache didn't end there.

It just went on and on.

Talk about the Big Smoke.

When The Network went down, it

triggered some kind of pulse,

wiped out all our technology

and sent us here,

back to the Dark Ages.

There were casualties, of course.

I knew a few of them.

Some guy from work, my

cousin Paul, Gary's mum.

Nobody really knew

how many we lost,

because we never heard from

the rest of the world again.

Everyone got cut off.

It isn't easy now,

but it is simpler.

I'm back with the wife,

which is something.

We decided our problems didn't seem

as bad in the grand scheme of things.

We all had to go organic in a

big way, but if I'm honest,

I'm hard pressed to recall any

processed foods I actually miss.

As for the blanks, well, a

funny thing happened there.

They woke up.

A week or so after The Network pulled out,

they just sort of rebooted by themselves,

tried to start afresh.

They seemed lost at first, children

cut off from their parents,

abandoned, forgotten, looking for guidance,

for someone to show them the way.

I felt a bit sorry for them,

to be honest.

The Network was right

about one thing.

We can be a bit uncivilized.

Maybe we would've been a bad

influence on the rest of the galaxy.

Oliver went back to

being an estate agent.

People still need a roof

over their heads,

and the old Ollie always

had a gift for the gab.

I guess the new one has, too.

He's doing all right.

I hear that the Peter found his

way home to Bishop's Gardens.

I suppose he picked up

where the other one left off.

I'm not sure his wife noticed.

Maybe she chose not to. He's a

pretty good dad by all accounts.

Steven and Sam got

together in the end.

Didn't see that coming.

They shacked up

just outside London.

It's a pretty nice shack, too.

As for Gary? I don't know

what happened to Gary.

We got separated and

I never saw him again.

Some say he went back to Newton Haven.

I don't know why.

I think his business

there was done.

It's funny,

but I miss him.

I wonder if he misses me.

Misses the boys.

Wherever he is,

I hope he's happy.

That's all he ever wanted,

really.

To have a good time.

I just hope he found it

beyond the bottom of a glass.

Because real happiness, real friends,

those are things worth living for,

worth fighting for.

Blank bastards.

F***ing robots.

Five waters, please.

You can have one.

But I ain't serving this scum.

Well, I'm afraid it's all

for one and one for all.

You see, my young friends

and I are on an adventure.

A quest, if you will. And since we

find ourselves in need of refreshment,

you, sir, have the honor

of drawing first blood.

So, I'll ask you again,

for the last time,

five waters, please.

Who the hell

do you think you are?

Me? They call me The King.

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