The World's End Page #5

good job so far on your own.

I'm gonna go and see if

there's a bus back to London

if anyone wants to

come with me.

You can't go. This is special.

This is our anniversary.

It's not the

anniversary, Gary.

We did this in June.

It's October.

Yeah, but it's the anniversary

of the year, isn't it?

Every year is the

anniversary of a year!

It's just not the

same anymore, Gary,

and it's not that the town's

changed, we have changed.

Yeah, well, you can't go,

'cause the buses are finished.

Then I'm gonna go back to the B&B.

You coming?

I could do with

an early one actually.

I should probably go

and find Sam.

Yeah, I'm gonna go

and find Sam with Oliver.

That's settled then, yeah?

You know what I think?

I think you're jealous.

Yeah, you've got your houses and your cars

and your wives and your job security.

But you don't have

what I have. Freedom.

You're all slaves and I'm free

to do what I want any old time.

And this is what you want?

You should grow up, mate.

Join society.

Yeah, but Mum died.

And we're all very sorry,

but now it's time to go home.

I thought we were home.

I can't help feeling sorry for him.

Don't.

Oh! F***! Piss!

Careful, the floor's

a bit pissy.

Wasn't me.

That was me.

Did that back in '90.

Punched the sh*t

out of the wall.

I don't know why. Seemed

important at the time.

You guys look like you're

having a good night, though.

I'm doing The Golden Mile tonight.

You want to tag along?

We'll be like The Six Musketeers.

I said we're doing

The Golden Mile.

You think you're so cool,

don't you?

Huh?

But we were cooler.

We owned this town.

We paved the way for you lot.

Blazed a trail.

Hey! Look at me when

I'm talking to you!

Please don't.

Don't what?

You don't want

to do that.

Don't I?

What?

You need to explain

this right now!

Andy, this kid

just attacked me.

Don't you dare

change the subject!

He smashed my head

in the mirror.

You know who I just spoke to?

Your mum!

And not from the afterlife.

From f***ing Bournemouth.

Is that real?

She says she hasn't spoken

to you for eight months.

Andy...

His head just came off!

No, Gary, you are not gonna

wriggle out of it this time.

WTF!

There's someone in here.

Andy, did you see...

WTF, Gary. WTF.

What the f***

does "WTF" mean?

What the f***?

Oh, yeah.

This can't be happening.

Can it?

You said it, mate.

I can't believe it.

I know, mate.

I can't believe you

lied about your mum!

That was a white lie!

How is that a white lie?

She's not dead, is she?

Wait, wait, wait!

Where are you going?

To get help.

No, don't do that!

What, don't get help? We don't

know how far this goes.

Wait, who are you calling?

Vanessa.

Who's Vanessa?

My wife.

Why are you calling your wife?

Because she's my wife.

You just said we don't

know how far this goes.

I was just thinking about the pub.

Oh, well, there's a surprise.

I can't get through.

Can you get through to Sam?

I've got full bars and

I'm not getting through.

I'm sorry, your call

cannot be connected at this time.

Must be the network.

Holy sh*t.

This is all connected.

This explains why

everything's gone f*** up.

Everybody's been replaced

by one of these.

That's why no one recognized

us, Basil, Dave, Raymondo.

I thought it was weird.

Shane Hawkins.

Exactly. It's not us that's

changed, it's the town.

I'm right, aren't I, Andy?

Andy, aren't I right?

You're never wrong.

No, whatever the f***'s happening,

we can't stay in the gents forever.

Ten people have entered this

toilet in the last five minutes

and not a single one

has come back out again.

That's going to

look suspicious.

Gay loving.

And that's worse

than five dismembered bodies?

This is Newton Haven.

How's it looking?

Normal. Very normal.

I don't like it.

What do we do?

Let's finish our drinks.

I say we neck these and

get the f*** out of here.

To London?

To The Trusty Servant.

Are you f***ing kidding?

Oh, yeah.

It's The Good Companions next.

I always mix those two up.

Are you saying we move

on to the next pub?

We should get in The Beast

and head back to London!

My brake light is broken.

So don't use the brakes!

I'm way over the limit. When

has that ever stopped you?

I don't want to put any more

points on Pete's license.

Andy can drive,

he's teetotal!

Ah!

That's settles it then.

The last thing we need to do is

get pulled over by the police.

A, we're all drunk,

B, they might be in on it and,

C, we've got blood on our hands.

It's more like ink. We've

got ink on our hands.

So, has it got messy yet? What?

What are you, five pubs in? Four

Oh, not even halfway.

Plenty more fun to be had.

Enjoy your night, Peter.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Sorry.

The way I see it, we've told everybody

we were doing The Golden Mile.

You did.

If we suddenly jump in The Beast

now and head for the hills,

they're gonna know

that we know,

but if we keep doing what we're

doing and going where we're going,

then they're not gonna know.

Know what?

That we know.

I suggest we finish what we started

and leave quietly in the morning.

Wait. You're really suggesting...

We finish The Golden Mile.

It's pointless

arguing with him.

Drink up. Let's Boo-Boo.

We're just five friends

on a night out,

having a good time.

Drinking.

Ah!

Been

Pubs

Shall we?

I feel a little

uncomfortable drinking this much.

It's like Dutch

courage, isn't it?

You know, when the English soldiers

used to drink Dutch gin before battle

to give them super strength.

You know, I thought that was to

numb the sense of impending doom.

Exactly.

We're just five friends on a

night out, having a good time.

I need the toilet.

Go on then. You've earned it.

Huh?

You're doing really good, Oliver.

He didn't make it this far last time.

I'm proud of him.

You're enjoying this,

aren't you?

Yeah, five guys on a night

out, having a great time.

Pretending to have

a great time.

Are you pretending?

If we get out of here alive,

I'm going to kill you.

We're still

in the dark, Gary.

Yeah, our families could be

in danger for all we know.

I know, my mum could be dead.

For reals this time.

Hey, why don't we just

ask somebody? Who?

The Reverend Green.

Come on. Wait.

What the f***

are you doing?

I'm going to go and have a little

chat with The Reverend Green.

You're going to buy drugs?

I am going to go over there and subtly

check if that is The Reverend Green

and if it is, I can ask him

what's going on,

and possibly buy some drugs.

But what if he's one of them?

No, me and The Reverend had

a highly sophisticated code

when discussing the purchase

of herbal narcotics.

If he doesn't understand me, it means he's

one of them and I will simply walk away.

Ah!

Have you got any drugs? I

don't do that anymore, Gary.

Do what?

That.

That why you're

in a suit, is it?

'Cause drug dealing is

not good enough for you?

There are no drug

dealers anymore, Gary.

I've got a proper job

in a proper office.

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