The World's Fastest Indian Page #5

What about tonight?

Yeah, yeah, tonighs ok.

Stop the car, les get

this thing running properly.

There that sounds better.

- Let me drive.

- Okay, come on.

She's singing

like a bird now.

Oh, she's a good old girl,

isn't she?

There we are, alright.

- You make a left here, Mr. Burt.

- Alright.

The buggers are in the wrong lane.

Stop the car, stop the car.

Turn, turn, this way.

Stop, stop the car.

Keep your shirt on.

- Scoot over, you stupid old bastard.

- Thought I was back in New Zealand...

we drive on the other side

of the road over there.

Yeah? You're going to get

us all killed.

Well, you're not in New Zealand,

you're in America.

- I know it.

- We drive on the right side of the road.

Burt.

Let me give you some advice.

When you're driving,

not only here in America...

but anywhere's around the world...

the driver should always

be in the centre of the road.

In the centre.

If you're not in the centre...

you're on the wrong side of the road.

Okay?

You want this right here?

Thas it.

Yeah, good.

Got it.

Is 3 am in the morning.

Yeah, time flies

when you're having fun, doesn't it?

You know, when I told you that

you could use the workshop at night...

I didn't mean all night.

My wife's gonna kill me.

You take yourself off home

and I'll have a snooze...

in the back of the car

and you know, mate...

I'll lock up the place

before I go to sleep.

Seems to me a whole lot of effort

to sell a lousy US$250 motorcar.

Okay, Mr. Burt, you pull the door down.

Have a good night.

Fernando.

Where do I take a leak around here?

- Leak?

- Yeah, a pee...

trouble with the old prostrate,

you know.

Yeah, go straight through those doors,

there's a door there that says Caballero...

Alright.

Well, I'll see you in the morning,

early okay?

Good night.

Where were we?

Burt?

Good morning, Mr. Burt.

- So did you get it all finished?

- Yeah.

All I need to do is find a couple

of wheels and I'll be ready to roll.

Well, you know, I have some wheels

in the back you can have...

- if you just do me a favor.

- Say the word.

Crank her now, Fernando.

Good.

- Burt?

- Yeah?

You're a god damned genius.

Thank you.

Hey listen, why you gotta go?

Why don't you stick around here a while?

I'll pay you well.

Sorry, mate, I've got to get

to Bonneville by the 23rd...

thas when speed week starts and

you know, gotta hit the road.

- Well, you've always got a job here.

- Thanks mate, I'll see ya.

- Best of luck to you.

- Ta ra.

This guy is really good.

Hello, love.

I was worried about you.

Housekeeping said you didn't

sleep in your bed all night.

Do I get a discount for that?

I doubt it.

I need you to show me on a map

how to get to Long Beach...

- so I can pick up my bike today.

- I'm finished here in 15 minutes.

I'll come with you.

Not a bad set of wheels

for 250 bucks eh?

- You sure ill make it to Utah?

- Yeah.

This old girl will get you

to New Zealand and back.

Here...

- hop in my fair, lady.

- Thank you.

The bloke who sold me this car,

he gave me a good tip...

he said always remember

that the driver, thas me...

should be on the centre

of the road.

- Look out, look out!

- Alright.

In New Zealand we always drive

on the other side of the street.

- You do?

- Yeah, sorry about that.

Do you want me to drive?

No, is alright,

I have to get used to it, haven't I?

This should be customs

right here.

Right.

- Hello.

- May I help you, sir?

Yeah, my name's Burt Munro and

I've come to pick up my motorcycle...

I came into port two days ago

from New Zealand...

and on a freighter

called Rangatira...

and I was told to come here

to clear it through customs.

- Mr. Munro.

- Yeah, Munro...

M U N R O.

- Wait here a moment, sir.

- Thank you.

Mr. Munro is here

for that damaged shipment.

- Mr. Moonro.

- Munro.

- Come with me please, to the storage area.

- Is there a problem?

Your consignment

has suffered some damage.

Oh, no.

Why the heck did I bother to paint

these arrows on the side of it then?

Thas the way it was

delivered here unfortunately.

Well, what happened to it?

My information is that

ten tons of fertilizer...

was inadvertently

loaded on top of your box...

while it was in the hold. If I was

you I'd sue the shipping company.

Sue? I haven't got time to waste

my bloomin' life suing anybody.

Get some of your blokes to pull...

this right side up so

we can get into the motorcycle...

and see what damage

has been done.

Alright, fellows,

les get it unwrapped.

The tail looks alright.

No damage so far.

Oh no damage at all.

Good.

- Lucky it was packed so well.

- Yes, is a blimmin' miracle.

Well, the old Indian lives

to fight another day.

Well, thanks a million, Tina.

I don't know what I would have done

without you today...

you're the real salt of the earth,

you know?

Are you sure you wouldn't like

to come home for dinner tonight?

- I can't, love.

- I could cook you a meal.

I've got to get this show on the road,

get out of Dodge as they say.

Okay, my good friend

from Kiwi land.

- You stay in touch, won't you?

- I will.

Here's my phone number.

- Call me and tell me how you're doing.

- I will. Can I call collect?

You can try.

- Is a good job I think you're a woman.

- I am a woman.

Yeah, right. Ta ra love, see ya.

- Morning.

- Morning.

Fill her up, would you please?

Regular or Ethol?

Who's Ethol?

Alright...

I'll take Ethol.

- Hello, young fella.

- Hello.

- Is this a rocket ship?

- What?

Is this a rocket ship?

I hope so.

Oh Gosh.

Whas happened to you?

Oh well.

Les have a look at ya.

Got ya!

Come on!

I thought we were going

to make it you and me...

and now look whas happened.

- Hello, mate.

- Got a problem?

Yeah. Am I glad to see you.

Yeah, I've lost a wheel, help me get

my rig back on the road, will you?

Okay, I'll see.

My name's Burt, Burt Munro.

Jake.

- You Indian?

- Yes.

Well, this here could be

the worls fastest Indian.

Well, at least until just now.

She's a bit heavy mind you.

So les take it easy,

one, two, three.

Right.

You live around here, Jake?

What do you want to ride

that contraption for?

Thas a good question.

Well, I guess the reward

is in the doing of it.

Jake, I'm dying for a pee.

Where do I go?

There's a little building

right there.

I've got a touch of prostrate

trouble now.

I have similar problems.

I thought you blokes would have...

some magic cures

for that sort of thing.

Well, we have.

One old remedy is ground up

dog balls...

- but I prefer prostrate trouble.

- Yeah, I bet you do, mate.

I got you!

Jake, gotta get going,

gotta hit the road.

- Burt, I have something for you.

- Whats that then?

Whats this?

- For good luck.

- Oh yeah?

I've never worn jewellery before.

Thanks, mate.

I've got something for you too,

hang on about.

Right...

lets see.

I've got this, is a spare one,

I made it myself.

- What do I do with this?

- You got a hacksaw?

Just slice the top of it,

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