The World's Fastest Indian Page #8

to get married in...

they're good enough to ride

this old girl in and no...

I tuck the legs of my pants

into my socks like this...

stop them getting caught

in the chain and Bob's your uncle.

You've got your suit pants,

what are you gonna wear on top?

What?

You've got your suit pants,

what do you intend to wear on top?

Yes, a black woolen shirt, New Zealand

wool, water resistant, fire resistant...

and me bash hat.

Bash hat?

Yeah, crash helmet.

You're crazy, you've got to wear

at least a leather jacket on top.

You put the bike down on the salt,

is like coarse sand paper...

is going to rub

your head right off.

I couldn't get into the shell...

with anything bulkier than the shirt on

my back. Is a very tight fit in there.

Straight out of the ark.

- What did you say?

- Straight out of the ark.

Don't be so cheeky.

Whas your name, young man?

McFarlane. Mike McFarlane.

I knew a McFarlane, he used to sell

milking machines in Timaru.

You must be related to him

because he was a total prick.

Look here, you don't even have

a fire extinguisher installed.

Mike McFarlane used to give me milking

machine parts to make my sprockets with.

How old are you?

I don't know,

he was about 35 when I knew him.

No how old are you?

His brother owned a general store

down in a place called Bulls...

- thas a town in New Zealand.

- Sir, your machine is not safe.

I've been doing this for 43 years

and I'm still here to tell the tale.

Time's change, we started taking

airplanes instead of riding horseback.

- Horse power?

- Horse back. Horse back.

Horse back, yeah.

I got you, yeah.

You're too old.

Bollocks. I may have this saggy skin

on the outside...

but on the inside

I'm still 18 years old...

and I'll give you a run for your money,

young fella.

You need some help?

Hello.

Rollie Free, Marty Dickerson,

we're a couple of bike fans.

- Burt Munro from Kiwi land.

- Pleasure, Burt.

You got me good there.

Where are you staying?

Thas my salubrious

accommodation...

I usually sleep at night

in the back seat.

Salubrious you say Munro, huh?

We've been hearing a lot about you.

Sounds like you're cutting

your finances mighty fine.

Yeah, you could say that again.

We'll we're up at the Western Ridge,

why don't you drop by...

it looks as though you could

use a good shower...

and everybody's staying there and

I bet that there's a spare bed there too.

Thanks a lot, you yanks

are classic you know that?

You don't catch me that easily.

Hey, Burt.

Hello.

The front forks could

go at any time...

the suspension is right out

of the 1920s.

Got hairline cracks all

over his tyres...

he's got no fire extinguisher,

no safety chute.

I told you, if is a time problem, the

old guy's welcome to use some of my time.

Is not a time problem,

is a bike problem.

Well, I think we ought

to let him run.

He came all the way from

New Zealand to do this.

Jim, have you had a good look

at his machine?

All I know is the man's

the genuine article.

Yeah, but the bike is

the genuine dinosaur.

Look, we carry the cans

for the decisions around here.

And if he kills himself and there's

about a 100 to 1 that he will.

Are gonna have a hell

of a lot of trouble on our hands.

Yeah, sounds like we're a bunch

of chicken shits if you want my opinion.

His bike didn't even come close

to passing tech inspection, Jim.

Burt.

Hello, Jim. Come in.

Rollie Free said

I could find you here.

Rollie Free, he's the best,

he's a real gentleman.

He set me up in this place

for nothing.

What are you doing?

Well, the soft shoe polish

fills in the cracks makes the tyres...

Iook spick and span,

good as new.

Cheaper than new ones anyway.

I didn't see that.

Well? Can I run?

I'm sorry, Burt.

Who the heck

do they think they are?

Crikey Jim, you know, I'm not trying

to run a mile in four minutes...

all I've got to do is sit there

and open up the throttle...

I mean, after all

is my ruddy life, isn't it?

Can't you do anything?

I mean, I just want to try and get her

to go over 200 just once thas all...

once I've cracked 200

I'll be quite happy...

to piss off back home to New Zealand

and Bob's your uncle.

You're a well respected man around here,

can you talk to them?

I tried.

You've got as much chance

of writing yourself off as I have...

you know that.

Just talk to them again.

I know they'll listen to you, mate.

Okay Burt, I'll try.

See you tomorrow.

Okay.

I mean I'm half the age of some

of those characters out there.

Whas that?

Thas just indigestion.

Everyone wants us old buggers

to curl up in some quiet corner and die.

Well, Burt Munro's not ready to finish

yet, I'll tell you that, mate.

I'll give it a shot

but I'm not promising anything.

Thanks, mate.

Thanks a lot.

The famous Challenger One...

What is he doing?

- Didn't Jim tell him?

- He says he did.

- Well, then whas he doing here?

- Why won't you let him run?

Hey, he's too old

and his bike's too old.

He's come half way round the world

to ride that cycle.

Yeah, come on.

- Wendy, if he was to kill himself.

- So? Is his life.

Keep an eye out

for those officials.

You sure you want to do this?

I'm not sure is a good idea.

Hurry up. If we're going to do

this thing you've got to hurry.

Alright, les go,

here's your helmet.

Here's your goggles.

- Come on, Burt. We've got to go.

- Yeah, right.

Come on, put them on.

Go, go, come on.

Okay, les go, push.

Push, go fast.

Hey, you can't. Hey...

- you can't do that.

- Come on, come on!

Hang on!

Hey, where are you going with that?

Stop, stop, stop, stop.

What the hell are you doing, Burt?

What the hell are you doing?

Just getting her warmed up, Bob.

Didn't look like you were

getting her warmed up.

Jesus, he was going to take

the thing for a freakin' run.

Bob.

Oh, boy.

That is the most determined man

I have ever seen in my entire life.

I kind of feel sorry

for the old cooty.

Coming all this way.

Isn't there some way

we can accommodate him?

I mean there can't be

much risk there...

his bike will be

lucky if it does 70.

What do you say? What if we bend

the rules this once, huh?

Jesus!

Bob and I had a little chat...

and we're thinking we're gonna

organize a handling run for you.

- You are? What?

- A handling run.

All the officials,

we're gonna get into our vehicles and...

- You're joking, huh?

- No, I'm not.

We're going to follow

along behind you...

and we're going to see

if you're okay to ride this beast.

Of course I'm okay to ride it.

First thing tomorrow morning, alright?

Bright and early.

Well, thanks fellas.

Hey. My luck's in then.

- You alright?

- Yeah.

Don't hurt yourself.

Okay, everyone listen up.

This is what we're gonna do.

Burt, you're gonna get rolling...

ride slowly along. We'll all jump in

our vehicles, follow you down the track.

- See if you can handle this thing.

- I'll handle her alright.

Alright. Everybody got that?

Okay, everybody,

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