The World's Fastest Indian Page #9

les get in the cars.

Hope that old man doesn't make

a fool of himself.

Here we go.

I'm ready, les go.

Push it!

Faster, boys.

Go, Burt!

Sixty.

Sixty-five, seventy.

That a boy, Burt.

Seventy-five.

There he goes up to eighty,

eighty, eighty five.

Ninety.

Ninety-five,

look at that thing go.

- Holy smoke.

- He's leaving them behind!

What the hell is

that old guy up to?

Nobody told him

he could give it everything.

I guess that solves the question

of whether or not he can handle it.

We were doing ninety-five

and he left us in the dust.

Look at him go!

That a boy, go, Burt.

Hold her firm.

Hold her firm.

Got it? Don't let it go.

That was a disaster!

- Hey, Burt. How'd it go.

- Not good.

So, whas the verdict?

When you opened up there in top

gear you sure left us in the dust.

I couldn't even get her out

of second gear, Earl.

The plugs were oiling up, I had to feed

her more juice up the revs a little.

Well, I guess we'll see if you're

telling us the truth, Munro.

Are you telling me I can officially run

on the track and have it timed?

Thas what I'm saying, Burt.

You'll never know what

this means to me, Otto.

25 years I've lived for this day,

25 years.

Sometimes you've got to bend the rules

a little, today's one of those days.

- Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

- Thank you.

- What did they say?

- What happened?

They said I could run.

Thas great!

- So why the long face then?

- Well, I don't know...

is just starting to sink in

and I've got a problem a big problem.

As soon as I go over a hundred and

ten it starts to wobble like heck...

a bad speed wobble.

Well, it did look like you were

about as stable as my last wife.

I've got a theory

and I think I'm right.

I need about twenty car batteries.

Twenty?

Is it ok to steel

these batteries, Burt?

We're not steeling them Marty,

we're souveniring them.

Careful of that acid there.

What do we do

with them now?

Well, we're going to talk someone

into lending us a painter's blow torch.

A painter's blow torch?

What are we going to do

with all this metal, Burt?

Well, when this cools down,

we'll have ourselves a lead brick.

- What do you do with a lead brick?

- Place it in the front of the motorcycle.

- And thas your plan?

- Yeah.

Well, you must get the center

of pressure behind the center of gravity...

and if you don't get it right

then she'll start to fish tail...

- when you get her wound up.

- What do you mean by fish tail?

Well, like a fish's behind you know.

Ill start doing that.

And thas what happened today

when I had the handling run.

And so in a panic I lifted my head up

from behind the screen...

and suddenly the bike started

to go straight and...

I knew I'd solved the problem somehow

by sticking my head up into the wind.

- I don't get it.

- Me neither.

Well, I'll show you.

Let me have that.

What are you doing?

Lmagine the cigar

is my streamliner.

Don't poke holes in the cigar.

Now if I hold it in the middle

and blow on it. Like so.

See how unstable it is?

Now if I...

- shift the...

- Not again!

Center of pressure here.

And blow on it.

See is much more stable.

Just the center of pressure

is behind the center of gravity...

and thas what I'm trying to fix

with the lead brick you see.

You're quite clever,

did you know that, Burt?

Now all I need to do is to test

my theory before I run on the salt...

and I was thinking of,

you know...

crossing over the state line

from here in Utah to Nevada...

where there's no speed limit and running

with a lead brick in the front of it.

- Good morning.

- Morning.

Do you know how fast you were

going back there?

Yeah, about...

150, 160 miles an hour.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

How's he going to talk

his way out of this one?

He sure got his arse

in a sling this time, don't he?

So whas the situation with this thing?

You don't have any license plates on it.

- Is registered in New Zealand.

- New Zealand?

Yeah, thas where I come from.

Alright, you mean to tell me...

that this contraption of yours

is registered for the road?

- Yeah, in New Zealand.

- New Zealand, right.

Well, how about taking it easy

here in Nevada?

Just because we don't have

a speed limit don't mean...

- we want people killing themselves.

- No, sounds fair enough to me.

- Right, you have a good day then.

- I will, thank you.

Burt, everything OK?

Well, fellows, we're going to have

to give the lead brick...

the old Spanish archer.

- Spanish archer?

- Yeah, the big elbow, you know.

The lead brick has got to go.

Who's stupid idea was that anyway?

It was yours.

Yeah. Well, I'm just going to have

to ride her, the way she is.

What about that speed wobble?

Well, I'll cross that bridge

when I get there.

- I've got another problem too.

- Yeah, what now?

Well, when I get her going...

there's an enormous amount of heat

comes off the exhaust pipe...

and I hope

it doesn't cook my leg.

Maybe you can wrap some asbestos cloth

around it, that should fix it right.

Thas a good idea.

So you got any more problems

you want to tell us about?

Yes, yes, my old ticker.

- You've got a bad heart?

- Yes, I have.

I've got a little surprise

for you.

- What?

- Close your eyes and give me your hand.

- What?

- Just close your eyes. Come on.

- What for?

- Because I said so, mister, come on.

Keep walking.

Wendy, you're not going to make

a fool of an old man I hope.

I'd never do that, Burt.

Never.

Never. Okay. Okay.

Now turn around.

Alright.

Now, hold your hands out.

Put that in your pocket.

Alright.

There we go good.

You can open them.

What are you all staring at?

- What is this?

- Burt...

we've unanimously voted you here on

the Salt planes, sportsman of the year...

because we figured nobody has

ever traveled as far as you have...

to be here for speed week...

so normally we would present

a trophy or something like that...

but considering your case

we thought a few extra dollars...

would be more appreciated

so we past the hat around.

My goodness!

There are no words.

Well, thank you all.

Thank you all very much.

I'm sorry,

I don't know what to say.

Oh dear, is quite

overwhelming you know...

is 25 years dream

to come here.

I should try

to justify you, your respect and...

you know the original speed

of my old bike was 54 miles an hour.

And today I'm hoping to,

you know, improve it a little.

The cars are at the start line now.

The next one is the 86...

On the bucket seat

the pilot is ready to be pushed out.

Next competitor is Burt Munro.

All the way from Invercargill,

New Zealand.

Burt Munro's entry

was approved just yesterday.

Burt, where'd you get this stuff?

- What?

- I say, where'd you get this stuff?

I tore an old electric blanket apart

and got the asbestos cloth out of it.

You got those heart pills?

- Are you okay?

- Better take one, yeah.

They're almost ready.

Guys, come on, les go.

You know the bottle says

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