There's No Business Like Show Business Page #3

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See you later.

So long, Steve.

Terry.

What?

Do you think something's

bothering Steve?

Why?

Well, he seems

so far away these days.

I mean, he's not

always with you.

Kind of like a poet

or something.

Maybe

he'll write lyrics.

No, it's not that.

It's...

No, it's not that,

either. It's...

I don't know,

but it's something.

Yeah.

Well, I'm glad

we got that cleared up.

Ready?

Katy, we're ready.

Katy, you in there?

Where could she be?

She's usually

the first one.

Tim?

Timothy?

How about it?

Fine.

We'll be right back.

Well, uh, don't hurry.

You better bring us

another gin and tonic,

another straight bourbon,

another scotch and soda...

and another

ginger ale, please.

Ginger ale.

Why don't you break down

and have a real drink?

Relax.

Oh, I'm completely relaxed.

Well, this is more like it.

That other place

was a creep joint.

Yeah, and the one

before it was a morgue.

Right.

I'll check my hat.

OK, baby.

Miss?

Uh, Miss?

Good evening, sir.

Welcome to Gallagher's

Golden Pheasant Room.

Check your hat, sir?

Try it again,

a little bit more

from the chest.

Oh, you think so?

My vocal teacher sa...

My vocal teacher says

it's all diaphragm.

All diaphragm?

Hmm hmm.

I'd say there's

quite a lot else there.

Tell me,

what's a girl

with such

pear-shaped tones

doing checking hats?

I am temporarily

between engagements.

Six months temporarily.

And a girl has to eat

and pay

for her singing lessons.

Oh, you're a singer?

I could've sworn

you were

a dramatic actress.

You think

that's impossible.

No, no,

I can just see it now:

You as Lady Macbeth.

What a sleep-walking

scene!

I wonder if some evening

you'd mind...

Skip it. I don't

give private auditions.

Number 35.

How now, brown cow?

Good evening, sir.

Welcome to...

Eddie, did you get him?

Is he coming over?

Yeah. Believe it or not,

the great Lew Harris is

coming over to hear you.

He's on his way.

Helen, take over

for me, will you?

Well, sure, honey.

What's up?

Lew Harris

is coming over.

Lew Harris?

The producer?

I'm going to sing

with the band.

Oh, good luck, honey.

Is this the dress?

Are you sure

it's the right one?

He said it was

the one you picked out.

It cost and arm

and a leg just to rent.

I hope you know

what you're doing.

Eddie, will you

stop worrying?

I've known what I was doing

since I was 6 years old.

Does Gallagher know

you're going on,

or is this a secret

between you

and the band?

Sure, Mr. Gallagher's

in on it.

He knows I've worked

in clubs before.

But how can you

go on and sing

with a strange band?

I'm not singing

with a strange band.

I rehearsed with them

all afternoon,

and they're very friendly.

The head waiter's name

is Carlos.

He has a very good table

for you and Mr. Harris.

And the drinks

are on the house.

Carlos is in on it, too?

Of course. He's even going

to make the waiters

stop serving

while I sing,

and he's very

friendly, too.

I have been an agent

for a good many years,

but this is

the first time

the client

has ever managed me.

Oh, and another thing.

When you bring him back

to see me,

I want to show him

that I'm an actress, too.

I've been working on a scene

from The Cherry Orchard.

The Cherry Orchard.

Vicky, let's save the acting

as a surprise for him

for later. Much later.

Right now, Mr. Harris

wants a singer.

A hot singer!

What song

are you singing?

I'm singing

"After You Get What You Want,

You Don't Want It."

Vicky, for the love

of Mike,

will you forget that

elocution stuff?

It's

After

You Get What You Want.

After. After. After.

OK, Eddie. You run down

and wait for Mr. Harris.

I'll change.

After.

After.

After.

After.

The girls

in the chorus say

you're not to be trusted.

Yeah? What else

they say about me?

Wouldn't you

like to know?

Yeah.

I beg your pardon.

May I please get by here?

Well, if it isn't

Ethel Barrymore.

It was only

yesterday...

Please, let's not play

any more games.

I'm in an awful hurry.

Must be losing my grip.

Something's

happening to me.

You're getting old,

Buster.

Why, you must be

almost 20.

What difference does it

make how old a man is?

Listen, Cheri,

one man in 20 years

may still be a baby,

a mere enfant,

but another may have

lived a full lifetime,

seen everything,

done everything.

It is not how old

you are, mon patoot.

It is the way

you have lived.

It's the wine

you have drunk,

the music

you have heard,

and the women

you have known.

Oh, the stories

I could tell you, kid.

Yeah?

So tell me.

Well, I... Hey, hey.

I'll take the bottle.

And bring another

double gin

for Snow White.

You know,

you're real cute.

Oh.

Well, uh, bottom's up.

You're pretty cute

yourself.

Well, now,

that's more like it.

I thought you were great

in the show tonight.

Oh, did you?

Uh-huh.

You were swell.

Oh, thank you,

but you know,

you didn't see

all of it.

No?

No. We've got a lot

of comedy stuff

that we didn't do.

Real slapstick.

I like slapstick.

I'll bet you do.

We have one bit

that never fails.

Here.

I'll show you.

Put your hands out

like this, flat.

Now, I take

these two glasses

and put them like so.

And?

That's all.

Bye!

Hey!

Mr. Harris' table.

We have a reservation.

Yes, sir.

This way, please.

Ladies and gentlemen,

ladies and gentlemen,

Gallagher's has a little

surprise for you tonight:

A new young talent,

Miss Victoria Hoffman.

Come on, everybody,

let's give the little girl

a great big welcome.

After you get

what you want

You don't want it

If I gave you the moon

You'd grow tired

of it soon

You're like a baby

You want what you want

when you want it

But after you are

presented

With what you want

You're discontented

You're always

wishing and wanting for

Something

When you get

what you want

You don't want

what you get

And though I

sit upon your knee

You grow tired of me

'Cause after

You get what you want

You don't want what

you wanted at all

Changeable

You've got

a changeable nature

Always, always

changing your mind

There's a longing

in your eye

Hard to satisfy

And here's

the reason why

'Cause after

You get what you want

You don't want it

If I gave you the moon

You'd grow tired

of it soon

You're like a baby

You want what you want

when you want it

But after you are

presented

With what you want

You're discontented

You're always

wishing and wanting for

Something

When you get

what you want

You don't want

what you get

And though I sit

upon your knee

You grow tired of me

'Cause after

You get what you want

You don't want

what you wanted at all

Baby, I don't mean

to make you blue

But you need

a talkin' to

'Cause after

You get what you want

You don't want

what you wanted at all

I know you!

Well, what do you think?

I'm interested.

I knew it.

I knew you'd

flip your lid

over this girl.

Ha ha ha ha.

How do you do, Mr. Harris?

Hello, Mr. Harris.

Hi there, Mr. Harris.

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