There's Something About Mary Page #13

Healy looks slightly disoriented as Mary leads the way into the

courtyard area by the main building.

HEALY:

The museum? I thought we were going out to

dinner?

MARY:

We will, but first I have a surprise.

HEALY:

A surprise?

MARY:

The architecture exhibit! My friend Tucker

is going to be here. He's an architect,

too. You guys will have tons to talk about.

CLOSE ON HEALY'S FACE as he starts to panic.

INT. ARCHITECTURE EXHIBIT

Mary and Healy walk through the exhibit area. Mary scans the room

for her friend. Healy's face is ashen.

MARY:

I know he's around here someplace.

HEALY:

(chipper)

What say we get outta here and go crush a

bucket?

MARY:

We just got here thirty seconds ago. Isn't

this stuff great?

Mary points to an architectural model.

MARY (cont'd)

Is this one art deco or art nouveau?

HEALY:

Deco.

MARY:

Would you call that a portico or a

vestibule?

HEALY:

That...? Vestibule.

MARY:

How about--?

HEALY:

When you look at architecture, try not to

concern yourself with the pieces--look at

the building in its totalitarianism.

Mary gives him a look. Suddenly, Healy draws a couple of invisible

sixshooters at her.

HEALY (cont'd)

Stone crab time! Come on, let's get outta

here, goofy.

He turns to go but Mary notices something O.S.

MARY:

Tucker!

Mary leads Healy over to her friend TUCKER, a

distinguished-looking man in his fifties. Healy looks like a dog

that's being dragged to the vet. Mary and Tucker embrace.

TUCKER:

(still hugging)

Come on, like you mean it.

Mary LAUGHS and hugs Tucker tighter. Then:

MARY:

Tucker, this is my friend Pat Healy.

Healy and Tucker shake hands.

TUCKER:

Pleasure to meet you, Patrick.

HEALY:

Same here.

MARY:

Pat's an architect, too.

TUCKER:

Hey, no kidding? Where are your offices?

HEALY:

(keeping cool)

Mainly I work out of Boston.

TUCKER:

Boston, huh? Did you get your degree up

there?

HEALY:

Yes yes, I did get my degree up there.

TUCKER:

Harvard?

HEALY:

You bet.

TUCKER:

(pleased)

Did you study under Kim Greene?

HEALY:

Among others.

TUCKER:

Kim and I are close friends!

HEALY:

Well, I'll tell her I ran into you.

TUCKER:

You mean him.

BEAT.

HEALY:

Well...that's debatable.

Healy makes a hand-gesture to imply that Kim's sexuality is in

doubt.

TUCKER:

Really? But he's been married for twenty

years--they've got six kids.

HEALY:

Nice smokescreen, isn't it?

Tucker can hardly believe his ears.

MARY:

Pat does projects all over the world.

TUCKER:

(impressed)

Where would I have seen your work?

HEALY:

Have you been to

(thinking hard)

Let's see--Santiago, Chile?

TUCKER:

Absolutely! I was there twice last year.

Which building is yours?

HEALY:

Do you know the...soccer stadium?

TUCKER:

Did you build the Estadio Olympico?

HEALY:

No...just down the street, the Amigo Tower.

TUCKER:

I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with it. What

style?

HEALY:

Uh, sort of nouveau deco...with a big

vestibule. Check it out next time you're up

there.

Tucker starts to look a little suspicious.

TUCKER:

You know, I really should take your card.

HEALY:

(noticing something)

Oh look, it's Doob! Will you excuse me a

minute, Tucker?

Healy drags Mary across the room toward a MAN who's looking at an

exhibit.

HEALY:

(to Man)

Dooby, you old sheep-f***er! How the hell

are ya?

MAN:

My name's Mel.

HEALY:

Oh, sorry. Anyone ever tell you you look

just like Jim Dubois?

MAN:

The sheepfucker?

Healy shrugs and the man walks away angrily.

CUT TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

A two-door Toyota Tercel flies by the camera.

INT. TOYOTA TERCEL

A determined Ted is cruising along the highway in his rent-a-car.

He has a cup of coffee in his hand and a HITCHHIKER in the seat

beside him. The Hitchhiker sits with a LARGE RED DUFFEL BAG

between his legs.

HITCHHIKER:

Thanks for picking me up.

TED:

No prob, I could use the company. I've been

on the road going on fifteen hours

straight.

HITCHHIKER:

I know how you feel--I been standing in the

same spot for the last five hours. You know

it's against the law to pick up a

hitchhiker in this state.

TED:

That must make it tough.

HITCHHIKER:

Sucks. So what's up? You some kind of

salesman or something?

TED:

Nah. I'm...I'm nothing.

HITCHHIKER:

Oh. Well I am.

TED:

Hm?

HITCHHIKER:

A salesman--that's what I am. I mean, I'm

gonna be anyway. I'm starting my own

company--video sales--just as soon as I get

enough seed money.

TED:

'That right? Good for you.

HITCHHIKER:

Yeah, you wouldn't believe my idea--it's a

home run. You ever hear of Eight-Minute

Abs?

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