There's Something About Mary Page #15

MARY:

So...

HEALY:

Yeah...I guess this is it, huh?

MARY:

I guess.

HEALY:

Well, I'll see ya.

Healy turns to go but stops.

HEALY (cont'd)

Mary ah, forget it.

MARY:

What?

HEALY:

No, forget it, it was stupid.

MARY:

Come on, what were you going to say?

HEALY:

Nah, really, it was moronic.

She grabs him by the shirt playfully.

MARY:

Just say it.

Healy takes a deep breath.

HEALY:

Could I feel your bosoms before I go?

Mary just stares at him.

MARY (beat)

Knock yourself out.

Healy reaches out and cups her breasts. He doesn't kiss her, she

doesn't kiss him, he just fondles her breasts. Then:

HEALY:

Okey-dokey, so tomorrow night?

She smiles and as Healy walks away we

CUT TO:

INT. SOUTH CAROLINA PRISON - DAY

Ted is sitting alone at a table in a small interrogation room.

PULLBACK to reveal that he is being observed through a two-way

mirror by two detectives, FRANEK and CAVALLO.

DETECTIVE FRANEK

Man, they never look like you'd expect.

DETECTIVE CAVALLO

That's probably how he got the victim to

drop his guard.

DETECTIVE FRANEK

Where'd they find the body?

DETECTIVE CAVALLO

In a big red bag on the front passenger

seat. All hacked up--f***ing gruesome--a

real psycho, this one.

The Detectives ENTER the room.

INT. INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY

Ted stands as the Detectives take a seat across from him.

TED:

(agitated)

I'm telling you, I did not solicit sex! I

was just stopping to go the bathroom, next

thing I know I tripped over something--well

someone--and, POOF, there's cops and

lights and--

DETECTIVE FRANEK

Okay, calm down, Ted, we believe you.

(beat)

The problem is we found your friend in

the car.

As Ted sits back down the Detectives just stare at him. Finally

Ted thinks he gets it.

TED:

Oh. The hitchhiker.

(CHUCKLES)

That's what this is all about.

Ted puts his head in his hands and smiles.

TED (cont'd)

Isn't that just my luck--I get caught for

everything.

DETECTIVE CAVALLO

So you admit it?

TED:

Guilty as charged. I'm not gonna play games

with you. I could give you a song and dance

but what's the point? I did it and we all

know it.

(laughs)

The hitcher himself told me it's

illegal The irony.

The Detectives are surprised by his forthrightness.

DETECTIVE CAVALLO

Well, uh, can you tell us his name?

TED:

Jeez, I didn't catch it.

The Detectives flinch at his glib demeanor.

DETECTIVE FRANEK

So he was a stranger? It was totally

random?

TED:

(confused)

He was the first hitcher I saw, what can I

tell you? Now cut to the chase, how much

trouble am I in?

The Detectives look at one another.

DETECTIVE FRANEK

First tell us why you did it.

TED:

Why I did it?

(scoffs)

I don't know. Boredom? I thought I was

doing the guy a favor.

The Detectives look at each other.

DETECTIVE CAVALLO

This wasn't your first time, was it, Ted?

How many we talking?

TED:

Hitchhikers? I don't know--fifty...a

hundred maybe--Who keeps track?

Finally Detective Cavallo EXPLODES across the table and starts

WAILING on a shocked Ted.

DETECTIVE CAVALLO

You sonofabitch! You're gonna fry!!!!

CUT TO:

EXT. MARY'S OFFICE - MORNING

Mary pulls up in her Honda Civic. She parks out front and enters

the building.

PAN ACROSS THE STREET TO REVEAL - Healy is parked in his car.

His surveillance equipment is pointed toward Mary's office.

INT. MARY'S OFFICE - MORNING

Mary walks into the office and sees a MEDICAL ASSISTANT standing

near the coffee maker.

MARY:

Mornin', Jane.

MEDICAL ASSISTANT #1

Good morning, Doctor. Your friend Tucker's

in your office to see you.

Mary nods and heads toward her office.

INT. MARY'S OFFICE - SAME

Mary walks into her office and sees Tucker seated at her desk.

(SHOT FROM behind Tucker so we only see the back of his head.)

TUCKER:

What's up, Doc?

MARY:

Tucker, you look different some how. Did

you do something with your hair?

MARY'S POV - Tucker's got two TONGUE DEPRESSORS under his upper

lip making him look like a walrus.

TUCKER:

The teeth, the teeth. I got 'em capped.

ON MARY - smiles.

MARY:

Oh yeah, they look great.

INT. HEALY'S CAR - SAME

He's got his listening gun fixed on Mary's office.

TUCKER (V.O.)

You don't think they're too big?

MARY (V.O.)

No no, the bigger the better.

(beat)

But I must say, they could be a little

brighter. Nothing's sexier than a mouthful

of pearly whites.

Healy looks at his teeth in the mirror. Not exactly pearly.

INT. MARY'S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

Tucker pulls the tongue depressors out of his teeth and laughs. He

stands up, and when Mary tries to squeeze past him he gives her a

kiss on the cheek.

TUCKER:

You ever been laid in this office?

Mary pushes past him.

MARY:

Behave yourself, Tucker.

(smiles)

Come on, what are you doing here?

She sits in her chair and leans against her desk.

TUCKER:

I wanted to talk to you about your friend

Patrick.

EXT. HEALY'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

Healy almost flies out of his seat.

MARY (O.S.)

He's a nice guy, isn't he?

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