They're Watching Page #3

the President of Moldova.

Your Excellency?

No?

Yeah, so like this is

pretty much how we filmed

the Black Hawks

in Afghanistan.

It was pretty f***ed-up sh*t.

Greg, you know, you

should just maybe, just,

just bend me over

now and f*** me.

Yeah, just f*** me like

you f***ed the Taliban.

Dude, you're in the shot, man.

Ah, you are selling weed.

What a coincidence,

because I am buying weed.

Guys!

Yep?

ALEX:
I'm goin' to, um,

I'm gonna go shoot

some stuff in the market.

Okay.

Okay.

ALEX:
Okay.

Eat a dick.

(BELL TOLLS)

Did you get me in the shot?

SARAH:
Oh, sorry.

Listen, let's, uh...

(CLEARS THROAT)

(BELL TOLLING)

(TAPPING SOUND)

Man, this is great.

This is local color.

Come on, let's go.

SARAH:
Greg,

look, it's your mom.

GREG:
(LAUGHS)

Just keep walking.

(DISTANT CHANTING)

(TAPPING CONTINUES)

(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)

The cameras?

We can't have cameras?

Okay, that's no

problem, we'll just, uh,

we'll drop 'em off,

that's fine, that's okay.

Yeah.

Sarah.

Sarah.

It's fine, let's just, uh,

let's just turn

this off, okay?

SARAH:
Are you sure

this is a good idea?

Yeah, this is the sort

of thing Kate wants.

Okay, that's, that's fine.

It's off.

Thank you.

(CHANTING CONTINUES)

SARAH:
This place is so cool.

GREG:
Yeah, look at this.

Look at the fresco on

the wall over there.

SARAH:
Are...

Are they burning her?

Shh.

3:
00 on a Wednesday,

these people are at church.

That's crazy.

SARAH:
What is that painting?

GREG:
I don't know.

(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)

GREG:
Oh, f***,

it's a funeral.

SARAH:
Oh, my gosh,

those were kids.

(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)

That's three kids.

Greg, we should...

I think we should

get outta here.

Greg.

I don't... I don't

have a good feeling

about this.

Can we just...

(RATTLING)

Greg.

(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)

(STATIC HISSES)

KATE:
What the f***

are you two fucktards doing?

GREG:
Sarah.

SARAH:
How do I turn

the f***ing thing off?

GREG:
Where the

f***'s your walkie?

SARAH:
Greg, I don't know,

I can't turn this thing off.

I didn't realize...

SARAH:
Wait!

(SARAH GASPING)

(SHOUTING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)

Greg, watch out!

(SHOUTING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)

Sarah, get over here.

SARAH:
Okay.

We're sorry, sir,

but those men were...

Sarah, just stop it.

These people are upset

that you have filmed

something which is

very personal.

I have explained to them that

you did not understand.

Which is not true.

You should go now.

Okay, thank you.

All right.

Come on.

SARAH:
Thank you.

(SHOUTING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)

Okay, thanks. Thank you.

Let's go. Walking. Let's go.

Turn around, keep going.

Keep going, Sarah, go.

Go, go, go, go.

SARAH:
Okay.

It's called the

biggest donkey.

You take donkeys from

villages around county.

They feed the donkeys as much

as possible for three months.

At the end of three months,

they weigh the donkeys.

The one with the

biggest donkey

wins all donkeys.

He's very rich man now.

Yeah, yeah, I will

pitch that to Wallace

as soon as I get home.

Yes, you get finder's fee.

Clever idea

for reality show.

KATE:
Where the f***

have you guys been?

We just accidentally

filmed a funeral.

KATE:
Jesus Christ.

(VLADIMIR EXCLAIMS)

SARAH:
And we

almost got beat up.

There was three kids.

Three... These people,

they don't believe

in immunization.

ALEX:
Why didn't you just

tell 'em you're Americans?

KATE:
40 hours, guys.

That's when our plane leaves.

We need to be at Becky's

getting exteriors.

All right,

then let's go, come on.

Enough sittin' around.

VLADIMIR:
I teach you

happy song.

Jesus Christ, f***!

VLADIMIR:
I teach

you song on the way.

KATE:
Is it about donkeys?

It's happy.

(VLADIMIR VOCALIZES)

Hey, sing with me.

Come, sing.

Why, why are you

coming with us?

Because, I, I...

In last six months,

Becky and I have become,

uh, good friends.

We're very close.

I wonder what she's

done with this place.

I... You know what

I hope,

I hope that she's

fixed up the barn.

You remember that barn, Kate?

That was a great barn.

Actually, Greg,

come to think of it,

you should take Sarah

out to see the barn

'cause she'd like that.

Think she'd probably

really like that.

(ALEX BEATBOXING)

She is out in the boonies.

Alex!

Shut the f*** up!

(SIGHS)

(HUMMING)

Jesus.

SARAH:
Oh my God.

KATE:
Vladimir, is it,

like, National Ax Day?

What the f*** is this?

ALEX:
Hi, homey.

VLADIMIR:
This is,

uh, villagers.

They are probably just...

ALEX:
What the f*** was that?

They go out,

they chop wood.

It's for fireplace.

(ALEX LAUGHING)

Right here.

Oh, wow.

SARAH:
Oh my gosh!

GREG:
Wow.

VLADIMIR:
Wow.

KATE:
Oh, my God.

VLADIMIR:
It's beautiful.

Easy fix!

SARAH:
She really fixed it up.

GREG:
Are you sure

this is the right house?

(ALEX LAUGHING)

BECKY:
I thought you

were coming earlier?

KATE:
Me, too.

ALEX:
Look at this.

Alex, Greg, I'm so

happy to see you guys.

ALEX:
Amazing.

Hi.

Becky.

Holy sh*t, this is amazing.

BECKY:
Thank you.

KATE:
Hi.

Wow, this is quite

a transformation.

Thanks.

VLADIMIR:
Becky.

Vladimir, right?

Yes. (LAUGHS)

She kids.

This is Sarah.

She's, uh, she's new,

she just joined us.

Hi.

SARAH:
Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Your house looks great!

Thank you.

KATE:
Is Goran here yet?

Um, no, he's

actually, um, traveling.

So he's not gonna be

here for a few days.

I know he's sorry

he missed you guys.

No Goran, that sucks,

'cause he was just

a really nice guy.

How does it look, Greg?

Do we have enough

light to shoot?

No, Kate, I'm sorry,

we're not shooting

Ghost Hunters Global.

KATE:
That's funny,

that's very funny.

Yeah?

Yeah, all right, let's

get, uh, back in the van.

No, no, no,

you guys came

all this way.

Um, just come in

for a minute.

I have Starbucks.

(SARAH GASPS)

Our viewers love it

when a fixer-upper

comes together like this.

Well, I really

couldn't have done

any of this without Goran.

He's done so much.

And not just with the house.

I feel like now that

we're together, he's, um,

he's helped me become

who I was really meant to be.

You know, two years I spent

on a Canadian

home renovation show

and they never got anywhere

close to this level of work.

You and Goran should

be really, really proud.

Well, if you guys like what

I've done with the kitchen,

I can't wait to

show you the cellar.

Ah, that will have

to wait until tomorrow.

It's getting late

and we need to get

back to town.

Kate, come on.

No, you know

the roads, let's...

No, well, I just saw you

looking at him a little bit.

If you think he's cute,

you should go for it.

SARAH:
I work with him!

KATE:
Sarah, let's go!

I want dinner and bed

so we can come back here

early.

SARAH:
Okay. Will you

show me your pottery

tomorrow, Becky?

Sure.

SARAH:
Okay.

KATE:
Sarah!

I'm coming!

In Moldova, they say if

you do not like weather,

you wait 10 minutes.

It's run, sun, snow,

all on same day.

You guys, Becky was so nice.

You know, it's a shame

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