Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead Page #4

Thank you, Jimmy.

Why do you teach|at Vail?

The clientele at Vail|has more money,

so you make great tips|on private lessons.

I'm sure you're|a fabulous skier.

- I get down the mountain.|- I'm sure you do.

I've never skied before|in my life.

The only skis in my neighborhood|were the Polish couple down the hall.

Jimmy.

Jimmy "Lo Santo" Tosnia.|Giovanni, vieni 'ca.

Where you been? You don't come around|no more? You find a better joint?

I've been|a homebody, Sal.

Dagney,|Salvatori D'amagli.

Piacere, bella.

- Watch it.|- Scusi.

For the return|of Jimmy the Saint...

and for the angel|who brought him back to us.

Grazie.

I'm gettin' some pretty heavy|Lady and the Tramp vibes.

I'll translate.

- "Look at the sea. How beautiful. "

- "It inspires such feeling. "

"Someone you're|thinking about. "

- I don't know what that means.

"You say you're leaving. "

"Far away from my heart. "

"From our land of love. "

"You have my heart,|but you won't return. "

- Thank you.|- You're welcome.

You didn't buy it, huh?

No, I didn't.

- The maitre d', Sally?|- Yes.

- He called you Jimmy the Saint.|- Ah, yes.

- Well, how come?|- 'Cause I say 11 "Our Fathers"...

and a "Hail Mary, Full of Grace"|every time I go to bed...

and I never kiss|on the first date.

- Really?|- Sad, but true.

Do you wanna come in?

More than I want the ascot to|come back into style, but not tonight.

Rules are rules.

You know, I could|look at you here forever.

I wouldn't have to do anything else,|just stand and look at you.

You're a thing|to be amazed by.

Good night.

'Night.

Hi.

On the way out,|I happened to notice the time.

It's now 12:
04,|so... a new day.

- So, technically...|- This is now our second date.

Rules are rules.

Yes.

The beginnings are always the best.

When you first start|to explore each other, to learn.

- I'll call you later.|When you watch the phone...

like it was the TV,|waiting for it to ring.

Oh, the insanity, that...

heartsick insanity.

It always fades eventually,|but God, while it's happening,

there's nothing|like it in the world.

# First you leave me, Then #

# You say you want me back #

Talk to me, big man.

The big man is gettin'|older on the shoulder.

Just hang tough.

Enjoy the scenery.|It won't be long.

Yeah, what f***in' scenery?

There's nothin' but cowshit|and fruit flies out here.

Then I'd advise you|to keep your mouth shut.

# Why did I ever|ever say good-bye #

# I'm gonna crawl|right off and die #

Where is this a**hole?

# I may never be a king #

# May never be a millionaire #

# So, baby, I don't care #

# You know what to do, We're there #

- Sh*t.|- # This is my... #

Sh...

The orthodontist has landed.

Here we go.

Okay, fellas.|Just stay cool.

Get him in that cruiser,|bring him down here...

and we'll get this done,|then I'm buying at the Thick.

Nice.

Aw, sh*t.

You don't say dick,|all right? Not dick.

My lips are locked.

The key is in the river.

# What to do|We're there #

# Yeah #

- License and registration.|- What was I doing wrong?

License|and registration.

You wanna step|from the vehicle, son?

- Why?|- Just step from the vehicle.

Can I see some I. D.,|please?

- Now, son...|- Look, I know my rights, okay?

I've heard about guys|impersonatin' cops, shakin' people down.

I'm from L. A., okay? I know|about that thing. I know my rights.

- Let me see some I. D.|- That's, uh... That's not the way we do things here.

I don't like the way|your uniforms fit.

You oughta take that bass|out of your voice right now, boy.

I got this|under control here.

Son, we need|some cooperation.

You know, maybe I'm|just a complete a**hole,

but doesn't the highway fall under|the jurisdiction of the State Police?

It does, doesn't it?

Well, what are a couple of Denver City|Police Department guys doing way out here?

It's early yet.

I got a bad feeling, Jimmy.

How's it looking,|big man?

Havin' a little chat.|Looking good.

Hey, what's your badge number?

Come on, fella.

- Just... Just be easy about this.|- 'Cause it seems to me on a night like this...

And again, it's really|just one guy talking...

But you guys would have|department-issued raincoats.

You know, plastic hat guards, that kind|of thing. What's the matter?

- Couldn't steal those?|- We're cops.

- You're cops.|- Listen, kid...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. God, time out.|Bro, what is up with your fingers, man?

Carpentry accident.|What's that got to do with anything?

Carpentry accident? Okay, so tell me,|Officer Leper, how are things down at...

You wanna see some I. D.?|I'll give you some f***in' I. D.!

- Billy! Jeez! Jesus!|- F***in' I. D.!

- Stop it, Billy!|- I ain't a cop! I ain't a cop, am I?

The kid's out of the van.

- Stop!|- I'll make you f***in' believe me!

- Billy! Billy!|- Goddamn right, I will!

- Come on! Hey, Billy! Easy! Easy!|- Do ya?

- Do ya, boy? Huh?|- Billy, come on. Okay, buddy. It's okay.

It's okay. Let's... Let's go.

- Let's go! Stop it!|- You f***in' fecal freak, don't f***in' do it.

- Don't f***in' do it.|- Let's go! Let's go! Stop it! It's okay.

It's okay.

Let's go. Come on.

Let's... go.

Dumb f***in' cracker.

- Put the knife down, damn it!|- What the f*** is that?

Surprise, surprise.|Billy tripped a f***in' brain wire.

- Are you pointin' a f***in' gun at me?|- Drop the blade now!

Drop it! I'll shoot you.|I will shoot you.

We got a thing here. Brown boy looks like|he wants to do a little roadside whittling.

- Sh*t! F***! I knew it!|- Get over there, big man,

right now.

F*** him!|I don't f***in' believe this!

Earl! Talk to me, Earl!

F***, man! We're f***ed!

Stupid c*nt.

Aah! Aah!

Bill! Bilbo!

No!

What the f***?

Don't tell me.

This is Meg.

Ohh.

They did it, J.|They f***ed it, man.

They f***ed it all.|They f***ed it all, man.

They're dead.|They're f***in' dead.

I'm standin' here|with dead bodies, J.!

And they're kids.|They're f***in' kids, man!

Two of 'em!

What the f***|did you do?

Now, how the hell did she go and sleep|through this whole goddamn thing?

We gotta clean|this sh*t up, man!

We gotta clean this sh*t up, man, now!|Come on, Pieces!

The f***in' booyah.|The f***in' brown boy!

He cut that kid's throat|for no good goddamn reason!

Hey, he was a trash mouth!|He called Pieces a leper!

We don't stand up for each other,|we're gone.

That's why you f***in' mud flaps are dyin'|off, 'cause you don't stand up for each other!

- You crazy b*tch! Shut the f*** up!|- Come on, motherf***er!

- F*** that! F*** that!|- Shut the f*** up!

- You crazy b*tch.|- F***ing bullshit!

Sorry, Boris.

You know how this works.|The intended decedent goes on top here.

Your whacks|go in the bottom.

The bereaved family never has a clue...

their beloved is to spend eternity|with a couple of hit vics.

- Putting one down tomorrow?|- Thomas Donahue, the dry cleaner.

- Pulled a gun on me, didn't ya?|- You're gonna be f***in' dead!

The thing of it is,|I don't see how it's our fault.

I mean, the Man's intelligence said|she wasn't supposed to be in the van.

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