This Girl's Life Page #5

That's smart? Well,

how did he take it?

He said to take my time.

So, what's the problem?

What's wrong?

It's not really a problem.

It's more like a favor that

I need to ask of you.

Anything, babe. What's...

What's...

What do you need?

I want you to test him out for me.

Test him? What like

a test drive?

I want you to find out

if he'd cheat on me, Moon.

You know, stay faithful,

before I marry him.

Uh-huh?

Look. He doesn't know you.

You've never met.

No. What are you talking about?

You want me to f*** your fianc?

No. If you could just

be somewhere where he is.

I know he grabs a coffee

after work,

or maybe at the gym.

And, no. Not come on to him.

Just, maybe... make yourself

available,

or...

or come on to him and see

if he bites.

Holy sh*t. That's him.

You want me...

to see if your fianc

will cheat on you with me?

I mean...

I wanna know if he would

stay faithful.

It would be better for me

to know now,

than... after we're married,

one or two kids later.

Don't you think?

You're the perfect and

only person

I could ask to do something

like this.

Sex is your business, Moon.

Okay. Let's think this

through out loud.

Okay?

He's at, uh, getting a coffee,

and I, uh, come on to him.

Excuse me. I'm s... I'm sorry.

Is anyone sitting here?

- No.

- Do you mind if I sit down?

- No. Carry on.

- Thank you.

Isn't it human nature for him

to flirt with me?

Flirting's not cheating.

At what point am I stopping him?

I think for me, it would be

at the point of entry.

What?

Point of entry of what?

A finger, a penis.

Or, God forbid, a tongue.

Exc... Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Are you done with this section?

'Course. Yeah.

- Do you mind?

- Go ahead.

You know, I don't know why anyone

would wanna read the

newspaper these days.

The news is so depressing. Right?

Right.

You know, after September 11th,

nothing's really been the same.

I hope one of those guys

doesn't come in

with one of those suitcase nukes.

Can you imagine,

waking up one morning,

finding that Washington

or San Francisco is gone?

Well, a little light

afternoon's conversation.

I'm... I'm sorry. I was just...

I'm sorry. L-l-I'm Bond.

I was just venting.

No, no, no. It's okay.

Um, sorry, um, did you say, Bond?

Yeah. Don't worry.

It's not short for "bondage."

No. That's a cool name.

Thanks.

So, uh... Where are you from?

Well, I'm from Wales,

originally, but I live here now.

And you?

I'm from New Orleans.

I'm just, uh, here for

the weekend visiting a friend.

It's kind of interesting not

knowing anyone in the city.

Not knowing where to... walk.

It... It is safe to...

to walk around here. Right?

I mean, for a girl?

Well, it depends on the

neighborhood, really.

But, uh... I wouldn't advise

doing it late at

night.

Are you more of a first-thing-

in-the-morning kinda guy?

Sometimes.

So, what do you do when you're

not drinking, uh, ice coffees?

Wait. Let me guess.

You have a strong jaw,

brown hair, chocolate eyes...

You like helping people.

True.

Your work is about

problem-solving,

and sometimes... you have

to take your work home with you.

Kinda like homework.

Sometimes you have

to look at your work intensely.

A lot of hand motions like,

uh... like this.

Wow. Uh, you're good.

You're a gynecologist.

Almost. Uh, I'm a teacher.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Wow. That's great.

So, uh, we forgot to do

the ritual. Shake hands?

Oh. Right.

Shall we?

Of course.

Mmm. Strong, uh... Strong grip.

I wonder why we do it.

- Shake hands?

- Yeah.

I've never seen any other

animals do it.

I guess it's better than

sniffing asses. Right?

I'd like to see some politicians

doing that on their campaign.

Having to sniff hundreds

of asses to get votes?

Absolutely. Yeah.

Well, um...

It was nice to meet

someone who wasn't acting.

Yes.

And, uh, well, I hope you have

a great stay here. And, uh...

I'll think about the gynecology.

Maybe there's an opening for me.

Okay.

Uh, Daniel?

I don't mean to sound weird,

but, uh...

Do you think you could give me

a ride to where I'm staying?

It's not... It's not far

from here.

I just... It's just that it's...

It's getting dark soon,

and, you know, you said that

I shouldn't walk.

Is this the car that you take

your kids in few trips?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

Hey, uh, Daniel? Can I, uh...

Can I come clean with you?

Sure.

Um...

I find you very attractive.

Thank you. Me, too.

You find yourself attractive?

No.

No. You know what I mean. I, uh...

I feel the chemistry.

Do you have a girlfriend?

Well, I...

You know what? It doesn't matter.

I'm only in town for

one more night.

Warm in here. Right?

Uh-huh.

Maybe you should take these off.

Okay.

Oh, sh*t.

- Is that mine?

- No. It's-lt's mine.

Hey, Pops. W-W-What's the matter?

You sound different.

Where are you?

I'm in the car in L.A.

It's my father.

Tell him I say hi.

Who's that?

I'm with a new friend.

Yeah.

- Tell him you taste great.

- Sh.

Are you coming back soon?

Because I thought

we were going for a walk.

Yeah. We will.

I cut my neck.

Your neck?

Are you okay? Is it bad?

Pops.

Po...

F***.

Um...

I have to... I gotta go.

I'm sorry.

Look. I, uh... I understand.

I'm sorry. It's just...

It's my dad. You know?

No. Sure. Look, uh...

This was a mistake. I'm sorry.

I hope your dad's okay.

Look. I can still drive you

to wherever you...

No, no. Uh, no.

You know what? I...

I better walk, 'cause l-I gotta

call him back.

He's, uh... He's-He's

by himself at home.

Thank you, though.

- Bye.

- Good-bye.

I'm not a man anymore.

I've lost my independence.

I know my...

memory is slowly...

slipping away like water down

the drain.

Pops.

Stop it.

Sometimes I feel like

I'm slipping away.

I wish I had a plug, Moon.

All my... knowledge.

I spent a lifetime learning.

All my experiences.

What for?

It's all just slowly going down

the drain.

Pops, what are you talking

about? Stop it.

Listen. You're great.

Okay? Maybe you need

to be more social.

- Go out on a few dates.

- Dates?

You're still handsome.

You know that?

I can never be disloyal

to your mother.

Hey. Why don't you watch TV?

The news is

on.

News? There is no news, Kiska.

It's all olds.

- Hey.

- Hey. Your room.

Now.

Well... I'm single now.

Goddamn it.

Back to serial dating.

To get a woman to cheat,

you need to be more

time-intensive.

You know? You need to seduce

them and put in quality time.

I think it boils down

to anatomy.

Men have a dick and they

are sticking it into something.

It's less personal.

Women, you're inviting them into

your body. That's very personal.

But it's also the emotional

aspect of it.

Okay.

Women need a reason to cheat.

Men need a reason not to.

I guess you could say we both

had a revelation that day.

I felt a calling,

like I was meant to do this.

At least for a while.

And it's really weird, because...

There's some connection between

what I've been doing and this new job.

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