This Isn't 'The Twilight Saga: New Moon': The XXX Parody Page #6

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You didn't have to feel guilty or anything.

I can let you go now.

You never had to let it go.

I just couldn't live in a world

where you don't exist.

But you said...

- I lied.

I had to lie

and you believe me so easily.

Because it doesn't make sense

for you to love me.

I'm nothing... human.

Nothing.

Bella, you're everything to me.

Everything.

I won't be needing your services

after all, gentlemen.

Aro wants to speak with you again.

No rules were broken.

Nevertheless, we should take this

conversation...

...to a more appropriate venue.

Fine.

Bella, why don't you go enjoy

the rest of the festival?

The girl comes with us.

- No. You can go to hell.

Come on, guys.

It's a festival.

We wouldn't want to make a scene.

We wouldnt.

Enough!

Jane.

Aro send me to see

what's taking so long.

Just do as she says.

Go ahead.

Are you scared?

Are you?

No.

Good afternoon.

Is she human?

- Yes.

Does she know?

- Yes.

Then why would...

She wants to be...

And so she will be.

- Or dessert!

Sister, sent you out to get one

and you bring back two.

And a half.

Such a clever girl.

What a happy surprise!

Bella is alive after all.

Isn't that wonderful?

I love a happy ending.

They are so rare.

"La Tua Cantante. "

'Your Singer'

Your blood appeals to you

so much...

...it makes me thirsty.

How can you stand

to be so close to her?

It's not without difficulty.

- Yes, I can see that.

Aro can read every thought

I ever had.

With one touch.

And now you know everything.

So, get on with it.

You're quite soul reader yourself, Edward.

Though...

...you can't read Bella's thoughts.

Fascinating!

I would love to see if...

...you are an exception

to my gifts, as well.

Would you do me the honor?

Interesting.

I see nothing.

I wonder if...

Let's see if she is immune

to all our powers.

Shall we, Jane?

No!

- Pain.

Stop!

Stop, please!

Stop!

Stop!

Just stop hurting him, please!

Please!

Jane?

Master?

Go ahead, my dear.

This may hurt just a little.

Remarkable!

She confounds us all.

So, what we do with you now?

You already know

what you're going to do, Aro.

She knows too much,

she's a liability.

That's true.

Felix?

Please! No, no!

Please!

Kill me... kill me.

Not him.

How extraordinary.

You would give up your life...

...for someone like us.

A vampire.

A soulless monster.

Just get away from him!

You don't know a thing...

...about his soul.

Maybe it's one or the other.

This is a sadness.

If only it be your intention

to give her immortality.

Wait!

Bella will be one of us.

I've seen it.

I'll change her myself.

Mesmerizing!

To see, what you have seen.

Before it is happened.

Your gifts...

...will make for an intriguing...

...immortal.

Isabella.

Go now.

Make your preparations.

Let's be done with this.

Heidi will arrive, any moment.

Thank you...

...for the visit.

- We'll return the favr.

I would advise...

...that you follow through on your promise soon.

We do not offer second chances.

Goodbye...

...my young friends.

Nice fishing, Heidi.

Yes, they do look rather juicy.

Save some for me.

This way, please.

Stay together.

You're here.

You can sleep.

I'll still be here

when you wake up.

Bella, the only reason

that I left...

...was because I thought

I was protecting you.

I needed you to have a chance...

...at a normal, happy life.

It was so easy for you to leave.

Leaving you was the hardest thing

I've done in a 100 years.

I swear...

I will never fail you again.

I'm so sorry.

Charlie's coming.

- Hey!

You okay?

Fine.

Dad, you don't have to worry.

Yeah, last time you said that

you took off.

I didn't see you for three days.

I'm really sorry, Dad.

Bella, do not ever do that

to me again.

Ever.

And you're grounded...

...for the rest of your life.

Okay.

I'm not technically breaking

any of his rules.

He did say, I couldn't take a step

inside through the door.

I came in through the window.

He's not going to forgive me easily.

I know.

Can you?

I hope you can because...

I honestly don't know

how to live without you.

Come here.

Once Alice changes me,

...you can't get rid of me.

She won't need to change you.

There are always ways to keep

the Volturi in the dark.

No.

No!

You all know what I want.

And I know,

how much I'm asking for.

The only thing I can think of...

for...

...it to be fair is to just vote.

You don't know what you just...

- Just... shut up!

Alice?

I already consider you my sister.

Yes!

- Thank you.

I vote, yes.

It would be nice to not wanna

kill you all the time.

I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry, both of you,

for the way I've acted.

And I'm really grateful...

...that you were brave enough

to go and save my brother.

But this isn't a life

I would have chosen for myself.

And I wish that there had been

someone to vote no for me.

So... no.

I vote hell yeah!

We can pick a fight with

these Volturi's some other way.

I already consider you,

a part of the family.

Yes!

Why are you doing this to me?

You know what this means.

- You've chosen not to live without her,

...which leaves me no choice.

I won't lose my son.

I'll wait until after graduation...

...to make it easier on Charlie.

I want you to be the one

to do it.

He wants to talk to me.

See, you're still alive for now.

He thinks, it's me keeping you away.

You stay the hell out of my head.

Jacob...

...I know you have

something to say to me.

But I wanna say something to you first.

If that's alright?

Thank you.

Thank you for keeping

Bella alive when...

...I didnt.

No, you didn't.

And it wasn't for your benefit,

trust me.

I'm still grateful.

But I'm here now.

And I'm not gonna leave her side

till she orders me away.

We'll see.

Hey, my turn to talk.

I'm here to remind you about

a key point in the Treaty.

I haven't forgotten.

What key point?

If any of them bites a human,

the truce is over.

But if I choose it,

it has nothing to do with you.

No... No, I won't let you.

You're not gonna be

one of them, Bella.

It's not up to you.

You know what we'll do to you.

I won't have choice.

- Bella, please come.

Wait.

Is he gonna hurt me?

Read his mind.

Jake...

I love you.

So, please...

Dn't make me choose.

Because it'll be him.

It's always been him.

Bella...

Goodbye, Jacob.

- No, you don't speak for her!

Bella, get out of here.

Stop!

Stop!

You can't hurt each other

without hurting me.

Jake?

He's right.

You shouldn't become one of us.

I can't do this alone.

Then please just wait.

Just give me... five years.

It's too long.

Then, three?

You're so stubborn.

What are you waiting for?

I have one condition...

...if you want me

to do it myself.

What's the condition?

And then, forever.

That's what I'm asking.

Marry me, Bella.

Subtitle by silentFX

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