This Isn't the Help - It's a XXX Spoof Page #6

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If we don't get more,

we're not getting published.

I gots plenty stories,

Miss Skeeter.

Just write them down

and invent the maid that said it.

You're already making up names.

Just make up the maids, too.

We're not gonna do that.

That would be wrong.

Don't give up on this, Miss Skeeter.

It wouldn't be real.

They Killed my son.

He fell carrying two-by-fours

at the mill.

Truck run over him, crushed his lung.

Aibileen.

That white foreman threw his body

on back of a truck.

Drove to the colored hospital...

...dumped him there and honked the horn.

There was nothing they could do,

so I brought my baby home.

Laid him down on that sofa right there.

He died right in front of me.

He was just 24 years old, Miss Skeeter.

Best part of a person's life.

Anniversary of his death comes...

...every year, and I can't breathe.

But to y'all, it's just

another day of bridge.

You stop this...

...everything I wrote, he wrote,

everything he was is gonna die with him.

I am just honored

to be hosting Elizabeth's shower.

Doesn't she look glowing, everybody?

Yes, she does!

Honey, you hold on to it,

to the bitter end.

- I'll try.

- Well, congratulations.

I'm hungry, Mommy.

She's always hungry.

You know she can hear you, Elizabeth.

I'll cut you

a piece of cake, baby. Go on, now.

Aibileen, are you enjoying your new

bathroom over at Elizabeth's'?

Nice to have your own.

Isn't it, Aibileen?

Yes, ma'am. And I thank you.

Separate, but equal.

That's what Ross Barnett says,

and you can't argue with the governor.

Well, certainly not in Mississippi,

the birthplace of modern-day government.

Hey, Miss Skeeter.

Can I get you something?

No, thanks.

Yule Mae, I wanted to talk to you

about something.

I already know what you're gonna ask,

Miss Skeeter.

Minny and Aibileen already did.

I'm trying to get my boys

off to college.

It's worthwhile what

y'all are doing, but...

...but my boys are worth more.

I understand.

What do you understand, Skeeter?

Yule Mae was just saying how excited she

is that her boys are going to college.

Did you also ask Miss Skeeter

if you could borrow money?

Of course not.

I'm gonna put Billy down for his nap.

Excuse me.

Come on, baby.

Skeeter, are you intentionally not

putting my initiative in the newsletter?

No, not at all. I just have been

really busy with Mama.

I know.

I know, you must be so worried

about your mother, but...

I'm worried about you.

Reading this stuff?

Believe it or not, there are real

racists in this town.

If the wrong person caught you

with anything like that,

you'd be in serious trouble.

I'll be on the lookout.

Put my initiative in the newsletter.

OK?

Skeeter, get up!

- No! What?

- We've got to get dressed.

What's wrong?

Don't panic. Don't panic.

There's a particularly tall and very

handsome man named Stuart here for you.

Oh, God.

Oh, mother.

You would not like him. Trust me.

He's a drunken a**hole.

Love and hate are two horns on the same

goat, Eugenia, and you need a goat.

Put that on. Hurry!

Look, I know it was a few weeks back,

but I came to say I'm sorry

for the way I acted.

Who sent you, William or Hilly?

Neither.

Hilly. But I wanted to come, OK.

I was rude, and I've been

thinking about it a lot.

- Well, I haven't. So you can just go.

- Goddamn it!

I told Hilly I wasn't ready to go out on

any date. Wasn't even close to ready.

I was engaged last year. She ended it.

I'm sure she did.

It's not like that.

I'm not always a jerk.

We had been dating since we were 15,

and you know how it is.

Actually, I don't. I've never really

dated anyone before.

Ever?

Ever.

All right, I, uh...

Well, that must be it, then.

- What?

- You, Skeeter.

I've never met a woman that says

exactly what she's thinking.

- Well, I got plenty to say.

- Yeah, I'll bet you do.

You make me laugh, smile.

Would you like to come

have dinner with me?

We could talk. I could actually

listen to you this time.

I can't think of anything worse.

I understand, and I'm sorry.

That's what

I came here to say, and I said it.

Just give me a minute.

Let me get my sweater.

Not a big fan of oysters, huh?

Oysters are a vehicle

for crackers and ketchup.

Well, here's to new beginnings.

Mm.

You're disgusting.

You've already made that pretty clear.

And just so you know,

the boys caught me reading

your Miss Myrna column

on the rig the other day.

Really? You read them?

All of them.

Very informative, too.

I had no idea that ground egg shells

got grease out of clothes.

Well, I do my homework.

You're a good writer, Skeeter.

Thank you.

I want to be a journalist.

Or maybe a novelist. Or maybe both.

I like that.

You're really smart. And pretty.

Skeeter.

I hope you get to write something

really good.

Something you believe in.

Hello?

What? I'm coming!

Aibileen! Come on. We have to go

help Hilly. Right now!

Oh! You're trespassing!

It's Skeeter!

She put it in the newsletter.

Oh, my God.

I specifically said,

"Drop old coats at my house. "

Not commodes!

Why would she do this to me?

I don't know. I don't Know, Hilly.

It's so embarrassing.

Oh, Lord.

I go potty, Mommy.

No! Mae Mobley!

You get off of that toilet!

- You will catch diseases, you hear me?

- Mommy!

You will catch diseases

on those toilets.

You is kind, you is smart,

you is important.

Don't shop for anything

on Capitol Street.

Let's let the merchants down on

Capitol Street feel the economic pinch.

Let me say this to you.

I had one merchant to call me,

and he said,

"I want you to know that I've

talked to my national office today,

and they want me to tell you that we

don't need n*gger business. "

These are stores that help to support

the White Citizens' Council,

the council that is dedicated to keeping

you and I second-class citizens.

Mama!

Don't encourage them like that.

- That is national news.

- I won't have it!

You understand?

How you doing, Miss Clark?

All right, Henry.

Thank you. How you doing?

If God is willing, Miss Clark.

If God is willing.

That's good.

- Yeah.

- That's good.

What's going on out there, mister?

Colored people off.

The rest of you,

let me know where you're going.

I'll get you close as I can.

What happened?

I don't know. Some n*gger got shot.

- Where you headed?

- Woodrow Wilson.

Woodrow Wilson. All right.

- You gonna be all right, Miss Clark?

- I'll be all right. You go on now.

- You want me to walk you?

- No, thank you. I'll be all right.

You have a good night.

Which way you going?

We View this as a cold,

brutal, deliberate...

...killing in a savage,

uncivilized state.

There is no state with a record that

approaches that of Mississippi

in inhumanity murder, brutality

and racial hatred.

It is absolutely at the bottom

of the list.

Fifteen minutes past midnight,

Evers got out of his car beside his home

in a Negro residential area.

In a vacant lot about 40 yards away

a sniper fired a single shot from a

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