To Grandmother's House We Go

Don't forget your scarf.

Okay.

-Hi, Mr. Chin.

-Hi, Keith.

Want an apple?

Thanks.

Merry Christmas.

-Wake up, Mommy!

-Wake up, Mommy!

-Oh, girls.

-Wake up, Mommy!

Girls, let Mommy sleep just a little longer.

-Okay, go back to sleep.

-Thank you.

Are you asleep yet?

Yes. I'm sound asleep.

Let Mommy sleep just until

the alarm goes off.

Get her!

Oh, no, girls.

You have to go to work.

-You have to.

-I don't want to go to work.

-You have to.

-What about breakfast?

-Give me it!

-No, it's mine!

-Give me it! They're mine!

-Give me it.

What's going on?

Who started this? You or you?

-She did.

-She did.

-Give me it!

-I got it first.

Whose pants are they?

-Mine.

-Mine.

Remember, up and down.

Up and down. Got it?

Up and down, like that.

-Hey, it's my turn.

-Hey, I'm not finished.

Just a minute, now.

You already got a turn.

Okay, glamour time. Close your eyes.

There you go.

-I want more.

-Okay, one more shot.

-Hey, I want some more.

-One more.

-Mommy, close your eyes.

-They're closed.

Not too much. Okay, that's good.

That's enough, girls.

That's good. That's good.

Girls, no candy for breakfast. You can

have that when you get back from school.

You can have oatmeal. Yummy.

You're gonna love it.

Okay.

Yuck.

You'll be sorry. You'll be sorry.

You'll be sorry.

I told you you would be sorry.

Mommy!

-Mommy!

-Julie, stop it.

Oh, gosh, look at this mess.

Honey, why did you do that?

Girls, come on.

-No. This is for Christmas morning.

-Mom.

Come on, time to go to school.

Let's get up. Up, up, up.

Come on. Time to go to school.

Okay, hold still. Almost ready.

Julie, leave Sarah's hat alone.

I want this one.

It was on my head. Give it back.

Ladies, these hats are exactly the same.

She always gets the good hat.

That's because I'm a good girl.

-Girls, don't start.

-Sorry, Mommy. I love you.

-I love you bigger.

-No way.

-Yes, way.

-Look, ladies...

...I love you the same. You love me

the same. End of discussion.

Now, I'm gonna be late for work.

You're gonna be late

for kindergarten. Let's go.

-I get the front seat.

-No way.

-Yes, way!

-No way!

-Yes, way!

-No way!

You're both in the back!

Oh, man. For crying out loud.

Hold it right there, partner.

Just take a little shortcut.

Much obliged. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Gotta love that Roy Rogers.

Hey, Rhonda, how's the hottest

mini-mart manager going?

Look, it's Eddie the delivery boy.

-Would you like a Sludgee with that?

-No, thanks.

You're making a big mistake there, pal.

Their Sludgees are the finest.

Never too much crushed ice,

never too much sludge.

He's trying to be cute. Keep trying, Eddie.

Thank you, Bill. In other news,

The FPD bandits struck again....

-I wanna hear that.

-The robbery took place in daylight...

... the driver was rendered unconscious,

and the bandits drove away...

... with his truck full

of our Christmas presents.

-More bad news.

-Authorities are close to making an arrest.

But then again, that's

what they always say.

Eddie, you better be careful.

See, Rhonda? You really do care about me.

Why don't you come to my house tonight.

You can cook me some dinner.

See, this is why I can never say anything

nice to you. You immediately hit on me.

Oh, come on. Why won't you

go out with me, Rhonda?

I mean, we got a lot in common.

Name one thing.

We both wear nametags.

See? Rhonda, Eddie.

Eddie, Rhonda.

Kind of sings.

Oh, Eddie.

How do I say this?

You're not really my type.

Rhonda...

...you don't know a thing about me.

Well, let's see.

Mini doughnuts, beef jerky, jellybeans....

I know you're not a health nut.

Well, hey, I take a Flintstone vitamin

every single morning.

Wrestle-Mundo magazine.

So I'm guessing you're not

exactly an intellectual.

Well, you'd be guessing wrong...

...because the crossword puzzle in there

happens to be extremely challenging.

Oh, and five Win-O-Lotto tickets...

...which tells me you throw away

your paycheck on the lottery.

This week's big jackpot: $1.3 million.

Eddie, every week, you tell me

how much you're gonna win.

And every week, you're a loser.

It'll happen, because I have a system.

What system?

Well, somebody has to win.

Might as well be me.

Somebody might steal your system.

"Then he stuck his head out

of the fireplace flue...

...where the little Who stockings

all hung in a row.

These stockings, he grinned,

are the first things to go.

Then he slithered and slunk

with a smile most unpleasant...

...around the whole room,

and he took every present.

Popguns and bicycles,

roller skates, drums...

...checkerboards, tricycles,

popcorn and plums."

Is the Grinch gonna keep

the Christmas presents?

No. We saw this on TV.

He gives the presents back at the end.

Well, Sarah, I guess you pretty much took

the surprise out of that surprise ending.

Oh, but wait.

There is a surprise ending.

"Sarah and Julie go to bed

on time tonight."

Says so right here.

Mommy, you know we can't read.

Then you're just gonna have to trust me

on this. Let's go. Up you go.

-Time for bed.

-No bed!

-No bed! No bed!

-Yes, bed. Yes, bed.

-Yes, bed.

-No bed!

Okay, that's enough.

Mommy's gotta work,

and you've got school...

...so we're all going to sleep.

I've got the same bedtime

as a 5 year old. This is pathetic.

I forgot to brush my bottom teeth.

I have to help her with the toothpaste.

Hey, girls, come back!

Hey!

Freeze it, babes!

March your twin behinds

back into your twin beds.

You've been to the bathroom,

you've brushed all your teeth...

...you've had your drink of water,

you've had your story...

...you've been tucked in,

you tried to make a break for it.

You've done everything but stay

in bed with your eyes closed.

Now, scoot.

I'm gonna sleep in Julie's bed.

Okay, okay.

It's not fair. There's two of you,

there ought to be two of me.

Why don't we get a daddy?

Well, I wish I could just run down

to Daddies "R" Us and pick one up...

...but it's just not that easy.

You could talk to Santa Claus.

Right.

I'll tell Santa to bring me a husband.

Or at least a boyfriend.

Listen, I go on as many dates

as the two of you.

So....

So there.

I love you.

And I love you.

-I love you.

-I love you bigger.

Good night, ladies.

Go to sleep now.

Why do you always have to win?

Because I'm a winner.

Frosty looks sick.

We gotta make his head bigger.

Mommy, we need more snow.

The weatherman said that's all

we're gonna get. Sorry, sweetie.

No snow for Christmas? What a rip-off.

Mister, you killed our snowman!

I don't see any snowman.

That's because you killed him.

Right. He doesn't look too good.

But it's 65 degrees out here.

He would've been a puddle by noon.

We're telling.

No, please don't tell,

because I'll get in trouble.

That's the idea.

-Mommy! Mommy!

-Mommy! Mommy!

What's wrong?

-That man killed Frosty.

-That man killed Frosty.

Rhonda, you're a mommy?

I got a package for you.

I'll be right down.

When my mom gets here,

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