To Grandmother's House We Go Page #4

I'm bringing you home, and that's no joke.

Go back there and get your suitcases.

I'll meet you around back.

-Grinch.

-What did you call me?

I called you a grinch.

Oh, okay. Well, just checking.

-Boy, I'm getting hungry.

-After we work out, we're gonna get...

-...a nice, big pizza.

-Oh, boy. Extra cheese?

And pepperoni.

-lsn't it a lovely evening for a walk?

-Yes.

-Watch it, joggers coming through.

-Sir, you dropped your fanny pack.

-Those things come loose all the time.

-Thank you very much.

-I love it when you get physical, Shirl.

-Not now, Harv. Get in the truck.

-Where's Eddie?

-I don't know.

Who are they?

I don't know.

You're the one who knows everything.

I hope they're going to Grandma's.

You lost my girls?

Rhonda, I'm really sorry. I lost my truck too.

It had to be those FPD bandits.

Eddie! I'm calling the police.

Tell them they look like your mom and dad

out for a walk. But when you turn your back:

Mom's all over you like a ninja turtle.

Okay, Harv, let's check out the loot.

-Hello.

-Hi.

Shirley, when did FPD

start delivering kids?

Right after you had your lobotomy, Harv.

What are you rug rats doing in here?

We're trying to get to Grandma's.

Who ships their kids to Grandma's?

Don't they gotta be in a box?

Stop thinking. You're not good at it.

I'll handle this.

I know how to talk to these little droolers.

Hi there. My name is Shirley...

...and this is my husband, Harvey.

What are your little names?

My little name is Sarah.

My little name is Julie.

Are these shrimps making fun of me?

I'm not sure. I think so.

All right, I'm through

with this child-psychology junk.

Was that guy

driving the truck your daddy?

No. He was taking us home.

We don't wanna go home.

Why not?

Mommy said we're a handful.

We're giving her a vacation.

And that's why you wanna get

to your granny's.

Well, aren't you two sweet

to give your mom a break like that?

-Excuse us one minute.

-Nice meeting you guys.

See you later, guys.

Harv, this is the best truck

we ever had, Harvey.

Those munchkins

are twin sacks of money.

-You're thinking about us being kidnappers?

-No! No, I'm talking about us being heroes.

When we return those kids,

we are going to deserve a big, fat reward.

We'll get money, and we'll be heroes?

Boy, that beats a stick in the eye.

-Which way is Edgemont?

-Edgemont? Is that where your granny lives?

Well, that is just where we're headed.

You kids want a ride?

Yes, we do.

Excuse me. I gotta go talk to my sister.

Oh, yeah. Sure, sure. Take your time.

What is it?

We can't go with them.

What do you wanna do,

walk to Grandma's?

Remember Mom's rules?

Never get in a car with strangers.

Oh, yeah. But remember

Mom's other rule?

Never going outside after dark?

Oh, yeah.

-It's dark.

-It's very dark.

Why did I ever listen to you?

Because I'm the smart one.

Okay, smart one, what do we do now?

I'm smart, but I'm not a genius.

Okay, let's go.

Come on, we'll give you a ride

in our motor home.

-Your home has a motor?

-Yeah.

Well, we like to get away

every now and then.

"Get away every now and then."

Get it, Harv?

Oh, "get away." Like a "getaway."

That's a good one.

-I don't get it.

-Me neither.

Well, this is it. Home sweet home.

This is awesome.

Why do you have

all these Christmas presents?

-Well--

-Tell them, Harv.

Why, that's simple.

Go ahead, take it, Shirl.

What?

Because...

...we live in one of Santa's

mobile workshops.

That's it, a mobile workshop.

We are just a couple of big elves.

-Right, Harv?

-Big elves.

That's right. Elves is what we are.

You know Santa Claus?

Old Saint Nick?

Me, Harv and the Nick-ster are good buds.

Are you kidding? Great buddies.

We were in the army together.

Are you making this up?

Would we lie to you?

Maybe. Grownups will say anything

to make kids cooperate.

Well, we are definitely elves.

Who do you think taught Rudolph

how to fly?

-You know Rudolph?

-What's he really like?

Rudy? He's my favorite.

Oh, what a reindeer.

Just as sweet as he always was.

Those TV specials haven't

changed him one bit.

Not a bit.

Are we getting Princess Penny dolls

for Christmas?

Oh, no, no. Not allowed to tell.

Kind of an elf rule.

But I wouldn't worry too much about it.

It sounds like a yes to me.

Okay, let me see if I got this.

The woman who knocked you senseless...

...she's about 5'2", 110 pounds?

She might have been 5'3".

Ma'am, have you got a recent photo

of your children?

Oh, yeah.

This was Christmas,

but it was a year ago.

Here's the beach.

That one might be a little blurry.

This is one of them in the car.

You can't see Sarah's face in that one.

This was two years ago.

Oh, here's a good one.

This was two weeks ago.

This is a picture of us at the zoo.

That's Sarah. That's Julie.

That's a monkey.

I knew that, ma'am. I'm a detective.

The girls both sleep with stuffed-animal

monkeys. Their names are King and Kong.

Shouldn't you be writing this down?

King and Kong. I got it all right here.

Speaking of stockings,

some lottery player...

...could be a bit richer if their

wish comes true.

-Here 's June with the numbers.

-Here come the winning numbers...

...for tomorrow 's Christmas Eve

Win-O-Lotto.

You could spin for a jackpot

of $ 1.3 million...

...if your numbers are:

6, 13, 19...

...8 and 7.

Once again, these numbers are:

6, 13, 19, 8 and 7.

Doggone it. All these tickets,

I didn ' t hit one lousy number.

You are unbelievable.

My kids are missing,

and you're worried about a lottery.

I'm sorry. It's just a dumb habit.

-Remember I told you about my system?

-I don't care.

Why don't you just get out of here.

Okay. All right. Well, I'm going. I'm sorry.

Ma'am, I'm sorry about your children.

And I'm sorry about him.

But as far as we know, the FPD bandits,

they're not kidnappers.

But I'm sure everything's

gonna work out. Definitely.

Call me the second you hear anything.

Absolutely.

Wow! Boy, this place is great.

See, Harvey, I told you.

You're so right, Julie. Hey, Shirl!

How come we never came in here before?

Gee, I don't know, Harv.

Would you come on and finish your pizza?

I'll be right there.

I'm gonna go down the slide one more time.

Help! Somebody help me. Somebody.

I need an immediate APB

on two missing girls:

Julie and Sarah Thompson.

Excuse me. Can I catch a lift home?

As you know, I've lost my truck.

Get in the back.

And buckle up.

Thanks for caring, sir.

This is Gremp again.

On the Thompson twins...

...they got strawberry-blond hair.

Yeah. Blue eyes.

Height:
3'5". Weight: 35 pounds apiece.

Date of birth:
6-13-1987.

They like monkeys.

-What was that birth date again, sir?

-6-13-1987.

-Stop the car!

-What?

-This is where I live. Thanks a lot.

-You needed me to take you a block?

I always wanted to ride in a real police car.

Now, get to work. We gotta find those kids.

I gotta find those kids.

Gotta find those kids.

1.3 million reasons I gotta find those kids.

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