Today's Special Page #4

No trouble at all.

Sharing breakfast with

someone is very good

for the digestive system.

Wow!

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, my god!

Is that you with

the queen of England?

Yeah, yeah.

You know, I was in charge

of an orphanage in delhi

way back in the '60s.

She came over for a visit.

What a wonderful,

wonderful woman.

Such a pity about her kids.

Wait, I thought you

said that you were

a cook in mumbai.

That was after

I came back

from pakistan.

I was in partnership

with three pakistani

guys in karachi.

We were all going to

be bloody millionaires.

Hmm, I thought my

future was worked out.

I even proposed

to the daughter of

a wealthy nutmeg merchant.

Oh, you can't believe

how good she smelt.

Really?

Hmm.

And then her father

married her off

To a carpet tycoon from kashmir.

Never heard from her again.

Hmm.

You ever think about her?

Hmm.

Every time I drink eggnog.

How is the dosa?

It's good.

Mmm.

It's...

It's really good.

How do you...

How do you

get this texture?

Ah, you noticed?

Mmm-hmm.

It's the stone.

A griddle has

a will of its own.

But with a dosa stone,

You can determine

the character of the dosa

according to your mood.

Hmm. Seems like

you're in a pretty

good mood today.

Wish I could say

the same about you.

Well,

I had some plans that changed.

Ah! I had

a million and one

plans that changed.

Even the ones

that worked out didn't work

out the way I had planned.

Listen, um...

About the restaurant, I was...

Hmm. Come on, let's go.

Cumin. Cumin.

It's a saucy wench.

Give you great pleasure,

but she herself

is never satisfied,

So be careful.

Okay.

Coriander seed,

Like a young girl

walking through a lemon

grove by the ocean,

Wondering what her future holds.

Ah! Cloves and cinnamon.

Hmm, like a crazy

aunt and uncle.

Very noisy, very funny,

very opinionated.

But a little goes a long way.

And turmeric.

Ah! Glee!

The golden spice.

Makes everything glow.

You know we used to use turmeric

To color the elephants

at the delhi circus?

You were with the circus?

Yes, of course

I was with the circus.

Come on, come on,

you're lagging.

Whoa! Don't you want

to measure that?

A man who measures life

will never know

his own measure.

What, did you read that

on a fortune cookie?

Actually, yes.

So what, you never use a recipe?

Everything I need is here,

here and here.

And a little bit here.

All right.

Here, come on,

you try it.

Me?

Yeah, of course you, who else?

No, no, I don't work like that.

Well, come on,

give it a try,

my friend. Come on!

Come on!

I don't even know

the proportions.

Oh! Guess-timate!

I thought you said

you couldn't tell

until it was in the oil.

Um, sometimes you can tell.

I'm sorry, is everything okay?

It's delicious.

It reminds me

of my grandmother

cooking back home.

How happy I was then, you know.

It's so spicy.

Farrida:
Samir,

are you in there?

Mom, I'm on the phone.

I'm busy.

Why are you

taking the phone

in the toilet?

Mom, I just want

some privacy, okay?

Samir, are you doing phone sex?

Mom.

What?

Samir, please be a good boy.

Mom!

Akbar.

You nasty little egg!

Couple of them got

the door loose.

They're crafty.

Okay. Why are there live

chickens in the kitchen?

Fresh meat.

It's much tastier than

that frozen stuff.

And it's healthier, too.

We can't have

live poultry

in the kitchen.

This is new york.

They will shut us down.

Nobody's going to find out.

There are feathers everywhere.

Oh, we'll sweep up.

Besides, we have

to do something.

I just fired that meat guy.

You did what?

What...

Rasool?

Yeah.

Oh, I chased him out

of here with a shank.

He's a bloody crook,

that fellow.

I know he's a crook.

Oh, my god!

What are these?

Menus.

Really? I know

they're menus.

They're too limited.

I prefer to improvise.

Oh, really? What if

people don't want

what you improvise?

People don't know

what they want.

They know what they've had.

So let's give them

something new.

Listen to me, okay?

Mmm-hmm.

I asked you to work here.

I want you to work here.

But I am in charge here.

Do you understand?

So before you

go hiring people,

or firing people,

Or ordering live

chickens, okay, you

have to ask me first.

I am the boss.

Do you understand?

Oh, yes, boss.

Here, have some lunch.

Take that thing off your head.

But I was told...

Would you just take it off?

Yes, sir.

I know everything

that is going on.

You tell my chef to

f*** himself while

he's praying namaz.

What?

Namaz.

Please, calm down.

Your heart.

And you could use a nicer word.

Okay, he wasn't

praying namaz.

He was, like, eating lunch.

You threw his things.

You hit him!

Beta, roti?

No, ma.

I didn't hit him.

I didn't hit anybody.

Beta, man cannot

live on frosty frosty.

How can a human

being do this, huh?

Whose child is this?

What are you...

Calm down, hakim,

he said he didn't hit him.

Beta, it's very bad

to hit someone

when they are praying.

I didn't hit him

while he was praying.

I didn't hit him, okay?

He was eating lunch and

he was spitting paan juice

all over the kitchen

Which is a health

code violation.

Are you bloody

lecturing me

about my business?

Sala, I made

that restaurant

before I made you.

That's not true, hakim.

Please, please, woman.

I'm not talking to you.

Arre, you have hired a bloody

taxi cab driver to cook

food in my restaurant?

Yes, yes, but he was

a chef in mumbai.

Of course he was.

And I used to be

the king of sweden.

You didn't know that, huh?

And your mother

is the bloody

michael jordan.

Anything anybody

tells you, you believe,

except your father.

You know what?

This is exactly...

You know, I'm not

going to fight with

you, all right?

I have to go to work.

Amit-bhai is right.

I should just sell

the bloody restaurant.

One less headache

around my neck.

Akbar:
Nah, not yet. Not yet.

You have to wait

until the flavor

Of the aromatics

is fully absorbed

by the oil.

You got to trust your senses.

Now?

Now, now.

There you go!

Give it a stir.

I know.

You think too much, you know.

Always remember,

from here, here

and here. All three.

You cook only

from there, everything

turns out cerebral.

Okay, you know what,

that's great,

But cooking isn't

all just here

and here and here.

Yes, of course,

you've got to have

some structure as well.

You don't put chilies

into a jalebi.

But with indian cooking,

a recipe is like a raaga

in indian music.

You know raaga?

It's just a template.

The important thing

is the interpretation,

The improvisation.

You ever been in love?

Yeah.

I mean, no, I don't...

I don't know.

You don't know?

A person who's

been in love, knows

he's been in love.

Ah, with my wife,

it was love

at first sight.

The first time

I looked into her eyes,

Everything disappeared.

What happened to her?

She died the summer

after we were married

during childbirth.

The baby died as well.

I'm sorry.

I had a brother.

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