Trailer Park Boys: Don't Legalize It Page #8

Oh, come on boys, just...

I always hate the part in The

Littlest Hobo when he's not leaving.

You know?

Just go.

See ya, Bubbs.

Hey, Bubbs?

I love ya, buddy.

I didn't think he was

actually gonna stay.

In nothin' flat he

was clean out of sight

Well I went inside

and ordered me a cup

Told the waiter Big

Joe was settin' me up

Aw you coulda

heard a pin drop

It got deathly quiet

And the waiter's face

turned kinda white

Well did I say

something wrong

I said with a halfway grin

He said

Naw this happens every now and then

Ever' driver in

here knows Big Joe

But son let me tell you what

happened about ten years ago

At the crossroads tonight

where you flagged him down

There was a busload of

kids comin' from town

And they were right in the middle

when Big Joe topped the hill

It could have been slaughter

but he turned his wheel

I can't do this.

What the f*** am I

doing? I can't do this.

Boys, wait for me, I'm not

f***in' stayin' here by myself!

Son of a whore!

Get the f*** goin'!

For Big Joe and Phantom 309

F*** off!

- Get!

- Get going!

Okay, Bubbs, are you

sure you want to do this?

Leave all that behind?

- You know what, Julian?

- What?

Switch me seats.

- What?

- Switch seats, you get up front.

There, boys, this is the

way it's supposed to be.

Now I feel at home.

And you're the leader,

Julian. Right, Ricky?

- Yeah, man.

- Thanks, man.

Alright, boys, let's f***ing do this.

Let's go sell this pee, 2 grand each.

Yeah, we're back on track now. Just

a little bit of a family emergency.

Okay... yup... alright... okay,

we'll see you soon. I promise.

Okay, thank you. Bye-bye.

- Just a little pissed off, but they're cool.

- Nice.

Yeah... Boys, you know

what I think I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna build a brand new

f***ing shed with my piss money.

I'm really hungry, if you

can stop for some food.

We don't have f***ing time

for a drive-through, Rand.

We just ate a couple hours ago.

I'm starving. I can't believe

you drove past the friggin' King.

F*** the King.

Randy, there was another bag of white

liquor. What'd you do with it, bud?

- No, there wasn't.

- Randy, give it to me.

There is white liquor, but

you're not f***ing getting it.

- Aw, f***!

- Randy!

- That's it.

- What are you doing?

Randy! Randy! For

f***'s sakes, Randy!

It's gone!

Jesus Christ! Are you that

dependent on this sh*t?

If you are, I got some on my underwear!

We can stop and you can sniff it out!

Excuse me, little lady.

Sorry, I need this.

It's an emergency.

Please go away.

Come on, Sassa-Ran, hurry.

Frig off!

This is not what it looks like.

And you had a do-wacka-do

wacka-do wacka-do wacka-do...

They tell me you're runnin'

free your days are never blue

I wish I had your

good-luck charm

And you had a do-wacka-do

wacka-do wacka-do wacka-do...

I see you're goin' down the

street in your big Cadillac

You got girls in the front

you got girls in the back

F***, for f***'s sakes.

133 is right here, right here. Park.

This looks like a busy f***ing place to

be doing a piss deal, isn't it, Julian?

It's where you do big deals like

this, Ricky. Right in the open.

- That's crazy.

- Alright guys, here.

This is Phil's credit card and ID.

I want you to take it into the strip club,

buy whatever the f***

you want. You deserve it.

Shouldn't we be

covering you, Julian?

Bubbs, it's just one guy, alright?

Three of us are standing

out here, it might spook him.

Julian?

- No, I'm good.

- Come on.

Bubbs, I'm good.

Let's go, Ricky. Let's

go look at some ladies.

- Alright.

- French ladies.

Man, you need this

more than anybody.

Get your head together, okay?

I'm f***ing proud of you, Julian.

You actually pulled this off.

Thanks, man.

Bonjour, je m'appele Bubbles.

There's Julian. He's

smoking a joint. F***.

This is f***ing awesome, Bubbs.

So, what do you do?

Well, I'm into all kinds of

different things. I, uh...

They're talking about

legalizing marijuana, so...

If they do, I'm going to be the guy in

charge of all the marijuana for Canada.

It's pretty cool. I work

for the government, actually.

I am the, uh...

administrator at

the... San Diego Zoo.

I've got a big staff.

I personally look after

all the Bengal tigers,

- and the little Bengal tiger kitties.

Would you guys get

the f*** out of here?

Holy sh*t, that's Terry and Dennis.

Hey, man.

What the f*** are you

guys doing in Montreal?

- We're starting things up for Cyrus.

- Cyrus?!

Where the f*** is Cyrus?

- Why are you guys acting so f***ing weird?

- You're acting weird.

I'm not acting weird.

Enough with the weird. Let's

see the product, Julian.

You guys want some f***ing weed?

Pounds of it where this came from.

Ricky, can the girls just

have as much weed as they want?

Does something smell

like pee in here to you?

Uh...

I smell weed. I don't

smell pee, though.

I've got 460 units of Canada's

finest right here, gentlemen.

Military-base

collected. Look at that.

Julian, we're going to need your

help getting this stuff on the truck.

Grandma's waiting.

I get the money first,

then you get the piss.

He's got his gun out.

I don't give a f*** how they do it

in Montreal, this is how I do it.

- I want the money first...

- Get the f*** out here, disco.

You gotta be f***ing kidding me.

I can't believe you're robbing

me. I thought we were good.

I thought you wanted

to be my f***ing friend.

We're not friends, we're f***ing

business partners, remember?

And we're not f***ing good.

You just f*** off right now

and load the piss in the truck.

And if you ever come

back to the trailer park,

you better change your

address to Smith and Wesson.

That doesn't even

make any f***ing sense.

This doesn't make any sense.

Believe me, I'm going to be waiting for

you back at the f***ing trailer park.

Don't hit me with your

girly threats, man,

'cause I'll be waiting right here in

Montreal if you ever come looking for me.

You know why? 'Cause I made it

big. I made it f***ing big, disco.

I'm in the piss game now.

Jesus Christ, just take my f***ing

piss, alright, and leave me alone.

- How ya doing?

- Hi, Julian.

Hey, your grandsons are robbing me.

Yeah, you don't

understand what I'm saying.

- Alright, it's good to see you.

- Nice to...

Okay, I'm alright.

He looks pissed.

Double dynamite, Sasserbandy.

Looks like Cyrus

just got Julian good.

You know the nice thing about a**holes?

Someone always comes along to wipe 'em up.

He's going in the club.

Now. We make the call now, Randy.

- Sh*t, no service.

- Ugh, for f***'s sakes!

Hello, I'd like to

report a disturbance.

There are suspicious men standing

out front of the Club Violetta.

Yeah, they're by an

orange VW 70's camper van

and they're talking about a bomb

that's located underneath it.

- Juliaaaan!

- Julian!

Can you excuse me for a second?

Julian, what are you doing,

shuffling the ladies away?

- Boys, I just got f***ing robbed.

- Robbed? The f*** are you talking about?

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