U.S. Marshals

[MAN 1 GRUNTS]

[MAN 2 GRUNTS]

[GUNSHOTS]

[GROANS]

MARK:

This is Tow-6 to base. Hello?

This is Tow-6 to base. Pick

up. Get your hand off the doughnut.

DISPATCHER [OVER RADIO]:

Hello, Tow-6, this is base.

MARK:

Thank you.

- How long to get back?

- Fifteen minutes.

- See you soon.

- That's a 10-4.

EXECUTIVE:

Hoffman told you?

What are you doing listening to one word

coming out of that idiot's mouth?

You've probably just cost this company

the whole account!

Jesus, Mary and-

Oh, sh*t!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[HORN HONKING]

Hey.

[HORN HONKING]

MAN:

Look out!

[GRUNTS]

Oh, my God.

[HORN HONKING]

[SIRENS WAILlNG]

Hang in there, buddy.

Help is on the way.

Hang tight.

MAN 1:

Over here!

FIREMAN:
You're gonna be okay.

Don't move.

All right.

PARAMEDIC:

Can you hear me?

Easy, easy! watch his left

arm. It could be broken.

- Careful.

MAN 2:
Left hand is...

Hey. Check this out.

It was Velcroed under the dash.

COP:

Thanks.

He had a gun.

[CLUCKING]

[CARNIVAL MUSIC

PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

WOMAN 1:

Let's go back, then.

WOMAN 2:

I ought to slap her.

Big ass.

WOMAN 1:

She was a b*tch. I mean, a real b*tch.

WOMAN 2:

Tell me about it.

Ooh.

Fine, chump.

Okay, kids, wake up. We're going inside.

[GUN C*CKS]

Kids, you ready?

NEWMAN [OVER RADIO]:

Yeah, we're ready.

Okay, we're gonna knock on the door.

Knock on the door, Biggs.

GERARD:

Police!

Police! Freeze!

Don't even think about it!

BIGGS:
Get away from the gun!

- Hey!

What are you doing in here?

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Hands behind your back.

WOMAN 3:

Let go of her, you moron!

You're gonna have to kill me!

[ALL GRUNTING]

[SHRIEKS]

Hands in the air! Against the wall!

MAN:
Okay, okay!

- Do it!

[GRUNTS THEN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]

COMMENTATOR 1 [ON TV]:

Blocked it. Look at this.

[ALL GRUNTING]

COMMENTATOR 2:

Yeah, right back to work.

Got him up high, then tossed him down.

RENFRO:

Hit him! Hit him!

[CRYING]

Get over there!

WOMAN 2:
Not my baby!

COOPER:
Hey!

[WOMAN 2 GROANING]

COOPER:
Come here. Get over here.

- Just trying to get-

NEWMAN:
Freeze! Where are you going?

- My baby's crying.

- My baby's crying.

- Stay where you are.

- Freeze. Stay where you are!

- I'm checking on my baby.

- Just let me check on my baby.

- Get away.

- Get away.

- Have a heart, man.

Get away!

[SHRIEKS]

[SCREAMS THEN SOBBING]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Excellent work, young man.

[ALL GRUNT]

COMMENTATOR 1 [ON TV]:

What a fight!

[MICHAEL YELLS]

Okay, Michael.

Regular or extra-crispy?

[CANS THUD]

RENFRO:
Goddamn this.

- Aah!

BIGGS:

Ow!

- Oh! Ow!

- Damn, Michael!

- I could've done that.

- I'll need a tetanus shot.

Cosmo, help me out of this chicken suit,

will you?

MARIE:

That's $120 more.

I don't understand. with the taxes

Americans pay, health care should be free.

You got my vote, honey.

But you're still $18 short.

Marie. Marie!

[MUMBLES]

Mark.

Oh, Mark. What happened?

Don't worry, baby.

It's not as bad as it looks.

See? Legs still work.

Yeah, but your neck, your arm.

I got a plate there from an old injury,

so they put that on as a precaution.

- Okay.

MARK:
I don't know what happened.

I'm driving the truck to base.

The next thing I know,

I was upside down in the cab.

Oh. Then you were very lucky.

You have no idea.

COP:

Mr. Warren?

Officer Porter,

thanks for your help.

I'm sorry, you're under arrest.

- Is this a joke?

COP:
This is no joke.

Come on. We'll straighten it out

down at the station.

WOMAN:

Step aside, ma'am.

[CHATTERING AND LAUGHING]

- Hey, Cosmo. This one's on me.

- About time, you cheap bastard.

- Only one.

- Then I'll make it a double.

As long as I live, if I never see Gerard

in yellow tights again...

...I'll die a happy man.

- Hey fellas, look. Look, you're on TV.

- Hey.

Hey, hey, hey. Look at us! we're on TV!

[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

We're on TV. Make it louder!

REPORTER [ON TV]:

The Conroy brothers were brought...

...to the courthouse

for an extradition hearing.

When he grabbed you by the throat,

I thought I'd take a dump.

- I did. I had to go change my underwear.

- Oh, man.

Hey, look at my head! Twenty-seven

stitches! All because of this scumbag!

Twenty-seven stitches, my ass!

During the raid,

both brothers were wounded.

The Conroys made allegations...

- ... of excessive force...

- Sam.

...particularly against senior

Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard.

I don't look like that. That guy's ugly.

Hey, Sammy, nice suit. She'll have

a martini and we'll take a check.

- Who died?

- Shut up.

- three Tennessee

state corrections officers dead.

Reporting from the federal courthouse,

Stacia Vela.

Reporting for Channel 2 News, Chicago.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the United States Marshals!

[ALL CHEERING]

Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands

together for the U.S. Marshal Service.

ALL:

Speech! Speech!

Noah Newman, Cosmo Renfro,

Savannah Cooper, Bobby Biggs!

You guys are, without doubt,

the sorriest excuse...

...for a warrant squad

I ever worked with.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

But nobody got hurt.

It's probably important.

- And you stayed close on the lead dog.

- Woof!

- Which means you get to keep working.

RENFRO:
Get paid too?

A round for this group here,

and a double milk for this kid.

Mr. Warren. We seem

to have a small discrepancy.

MARK:

Let me help you with that.

Um, that's not me.

You caught that. Uh, you're aware it's

illegal to carry a handgun in Chicago?

Come on.

You ever try towing a car on the

Dan Ryan at 3 a. m. without a handgun?

What about East 42nd,

1 st Avenue in New York City?

- What about it?

- Ever been there?

- No.

- Never?

- Never.

- Oh.

Then you wouldn't know about the double

homicide took place there last December?

Obviously not.

That's interesting.

Because the prints we took off you...

...flagged this.

Federal arrest warrant for Mark Roberts.

Prints from the crime scene

match yours.

Uh-uh. This is bullshit. This is bullshit.

Let me talk to a lawyer.

Don't touch me.

CALDWELL:

You'll get a lawyer...

...at your extradition hearing!

You're going back to New York.

Back? I've never been to New York! I don't

know nothing about a double homicide.

Get him out of here.

You'll have plenty of time

to explain that in New York.

MARK:

You got the wrong man.

CALDWELL:
Get him out of here.

MARK:
You're making a mistake.

CALDWELL:

Thanks.

- There, Mark Warren. What's going on?

- I don't know.

MARIE:

Why is it taking so long?

SERGEANT:

It's still being processed.

MARIE:

Mark! Mark!

OFFICER:
Whoa, whoa. Hold it there.

- Mark! Unh. Mark!

Marie, it's okay. It's okay.

- What's happening?

- Just a little mistaken identity.

Where are they taking you?

Just be cool, baby.

Everything's gonna be fine.

[CHATTERING]

[CLASSICAL MUSIC

PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

- You know...

- Yeah, well.

[ALL LAUGH]

WOMAN 1:
Have a lovely evening.

MAN:
Thank you.

I'll be right back.

WOMAN 2:

Oh, hi.

Hello, deputy. I'm surprised you made it.

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