Underdog Kids

1

- Yo, come on, man.

- James! James!

- Come on, man.

- What about the kids?

Don't you dare call them kids.

Those are not kids.

Those are little animals, man.

No. No.

- I can't do it. I can't do it, no.

- Sure, you can.

No, no, look, I don't even want

you to pay me to teach them.

All right? No, no.

I can't pay you,

but I would if I could.

Listen, that one with the attitude,

man, I can't deal with him.

- Well...

- I'm not here for that, okay?

One of them keeps farting. No,

I gotta get out of here, man.

- I can't do this, man.

- Wait, wait, wait.

What about the tournament?

You can't quit now.

Charlie...

watch me.

But...

Now what?

- Awesome.

- Mm-hmm, yes. Thank you.

Next.

Ooh.

- Inspiring.

- Yeah. Thank you.

Impressive.

Next.

- Ooh.

- Great balls of fire.

You gotta keep your chin down.

What?

I said you gotta

keep your chin down.

Uh, excuse me, mister,

but I believe you're disturbing

our concentration.

Wait, let him speak.

Yes, let him speak.

So what do you know

about karate?

A little.

Like what?

I know that if you

keep your chin down,

you won't lose balance.

And how do you know that?

I just know.

Bullsha.

Are you here for an audition?

No.

Can you show us?

Maybe some other time.

I knew it.

All talk and no action.

He thinks he's all tough

with his leather jacket.

- Come on, guys.

- And his glasses.

Okay.

I'll show you.

So, who wants to hold the pad?

- He does.

- Careful.

Okay.

Put it up.

Which... what are you

knuckleheads trying to do?

Break a window or what,

for crying out loud?

Charlie.

Jimmy.

You came.

You're all back together again.

Look at you.

Charlie, how come

you're limping?

Ah, it's just a hip.

I'm just getting old, you know?

It's nothing. It warms up.

Hey, listen, did you eat?

No, not yet.

I gotta... I gotta

take you someplace.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

Where are you

taking me, Charlie?

You're late.

- Hey, Big Mama.

- Hey, Charlie.

I brought you a surprise.

Well, for heaven's sakes!

Hey, Big Mama.

How are you doing?

Boy, we have not seen you

in this neck of the woods

for a long time.

Last time I heard,

you hit it big.

Then it hit me that you got hit

by a bus or something?

- Semi.

- A what?

A big truck.

Oh, semi, big truck...

what do I know, Charlie?

I just heard you got hurt

really bad.

So, tell me, Jimmy,

are you coming home for good

or are you just visiting?

No, I'm just visiting.

Jimmy's training

for his big fight.

What?

Boy, are you gonna fight again

after all that?

Are you crazy?

Can't give up now.

Besides, it's the only thing

that I'm good at.

Well, if you're gonna fight,

you gotta eat.

So what can I get

for you, sugar?

- Charlie?

- Get the special.

- The special.

- You got the special. Charlie?

- I'll have my Hebrew.

- Your Hebrew dog.

Uh-uh! You know good and well

your money is no good here.

Now you put that back

in your pocket.

That's on me.

All right, give me a special

and a Hebrew dog for my Charlie.

This is a bad idea.

Why do you keep saying that?

Because I hate kids, Charlie.

They smell

and they're a pain in the butt.

Just give it a chance, okay?

Hey, kids!

Gather up here.

I want you to meet

the former mixed martial arts

champion of the world

Jimmy "the Lightning Bolt,"

your new coach.

I bet a dollar

you won't last one week.

I'll give him two weeks, tops.

Hi, kids.

- Hi, Valerie.

- Hi, Charlie.

- How was class today?

- We didn't have class today.

You still couldn't find a

teacher?

No, I found a replacement.

Meet Jimmy.

Jimmy, this is Valerie.

Valerie is Sean and Alex's aunt.

- How are you doing?

- Hi.

- Nice meeting you.

- A pleasure.

Auntie, this is Jimmy

the Lightning Bolt.

Jimmy the Lightning Bolt?

Isn't he awesome? Look at him.

Look at his jacket.

He's a former MMA champion.

Oh, a former MMA champ, huh?

Kids, go get ready, okay?

Charlie, can I have

a word with you?

Would you excuse us

for a moment?

- Sure.

- Thanks.

Are you kidding me?

An MMA champ

named Lightning Bolt?

- Well, uh...

- Are you crazy, Charlie?

And who names their kid

Lightning Bolt?

Well, when Jimmy was a kid,

he was struck by lightning...

and he lived.

That's how he got his name.

And he's a great guy

when you get to know him.

Valerie, Jimmy is like

a son to me.

And I trust him with my life.

"Jimmy the Lightning Bolt,

an orphan boy grows up

to become an MMA champion."

That's what Charlie meant.

He doesn't have any family.

"Jimmy the Lightning Bolt

hospitalized."

What?

"Saves a five-year-old boy

from a runaway truck."

What?

"Champ may never

be able to fight again.

Career ruined."

Listen, you've been out of the fight

circuit for over three years,

and fight years

are like dog years.

Well, I was in a little

accident, remember?

Yeah, everybody remembers,

which is why nobody

wants to insure you.

Look, Geno,

I'll sign a waiver, okay?

I'll do anything.

Just get me back

into the cage, all right?

Jimmy, you're not getting

any younger.

- What did you say?

- Okay, you know,

I may have something

in the meantime, all right?

The Shapiro bar mitzvah.

It's a sweet gig, too.

All you do, you dress up

like a ninja.

About halfway through the ceremony,

you drop out of the ceiling,

you go up onstage,

you fight this kid.

And believe me,

he's not a big kid, so...

It pays $500, but the kid

does get to beat you up.

I'm gonna pretend

like I didn't hear that.

All right. I'm trying.

- Geno, just get me a fight, will ya?

- I'll try.

What if I made it so you could beat up

the kid and then... okay, forget it.

Excuse me, Mr. Lee?

What?

Aren't you gonna teach us?

So what do you wanna do?

Um...

maybe we can start

with some punching drills?

Why do we have to start

with punching drills?

Okay, you guys wanna do blocks?

Man, blocking is for the birds.

Why don't we just go

right into sparring?

It is a known fact that without

proper sparring equipment,

one can get seriously injured,

maimed, or knocked unconscious.

Man, you're just scared

and you know it.

No, I'm not.

- Yes, you are.

- Not.

- Then back it up!

- Hey, hey, hey.

Break it up.

From now on, I will lead

and you will follow.

No questions, no objections.

You got that?

Hey, Alex, what's an objection?

That's what lawyers

always say to the judge.

Quiet!

Get back in line.

If you guys keep talking,

I'm gonna give you guys

10 push-ups on your knuckles.

On our knuckles?

Man, that's B.S.!

Okay, everybody go down 10.

Forget this. I quit.

You wanna quit? Quit.

Man, I hate this class already.

Well, that's good because

I don't like you, either.

- You're mean!

- And you're short.

Go eat some Cheerios.

Where's Raymond?

Raymond!

Oh, my God.

Get your butt over here.

All of you line up. Let's go.

What... what is this?

- Just a snack.

- Just a snack?

Oh, boy.

Okay, you guys.

Right leg back, fighting stance.

You guys do know

fighting stance, yes?

Right leg back, hands up to the side.

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