Unseen + Untold: National Lampoon's Animal House

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FABER COLLEGE - 1962

Take off that beanie.

- We're meant to wear them to homecoming.

- Don't be a fruit, okay?

Okay.

Doug Neidermeyer,

Omega membership chairman.

Larry Kroger.

This is my roommate, Kent Dorfman.

Hi there. Doug Neidermeyer.

These are our name-tag hostesses,

Mandy Pepperidge and Babs Jansen.

Hi there, Kent. Hi, Larry.

- Welcome to Omega house.

- Thank you.

- Nice to...

- Why don't we go meet some of the guys?

A wimp and a blimp.

There are many great guys here,

so don't feel you have to meet everyone.

We just want you to enjoy yourselves

while you're here.

Omega house has more

activities...

than most campus fraternities,

is far superior...

- Mandy.

- Hi.

Right there.

Hi there, fellows. Meet Ken and Lonny.

Larry.

Ken, Lonny, I'd like you to meet...

Mohammet...

Jugdish, Sidney and Clayton.

Grab a seat and make yourselves at home.

Don't be shy about helping yourselves

to punch and cookies.

I'm not going to say Omega's

the best house on campus...

but a lot of outstanding guys figure

they'll pledge Omega or won't pledge at all.

We do have more than our share

of campus leaders...

something that never looks bad

on your permanent record.

Sure. Everybody says

Omega's the best, but...

I hate to seem...

you know, pushy.

Let the unacceptable candidates worry,

because after tonight, they're...

...you are... Kent!

I'm Greg Marmalard,

president of Omega House.

Meet my friends, Mandy Pepperidge...

We already met.

And Chip Diller.

How are you?

How are you?

Over there is Terry Auerback,

captain of the swim team.

That's Carl Phillips,

editor of the Daily Faberian.

And...

Clayton.

Sidney.

Jugdish, Mohammet, Lonny...

- We already met.

- Super!

Then you'll have lots to talk about.

- I don't think you're trying very hard.

- I hate this.

No sweat. My brother Fred was a Delta.

That makes me a legacy.

They have to take me. It's their law.

Don't worry. I'll put in a good word for you.

Great. I heard Delta's

the worst house on campus.

Excuse me, sir. Is this the Delta house?

Sure.

Come on in.

Grab a brew.

Don't cost nothing.

See you later.

And bump you $20.

Hi, guys.

You guys playing cards?

You want another beer?

Hi.

- You want a beer, Larry?

- Sure.

Nice fish.

- I'm Robert Hoover, chapter president.

- Hi, Robert.

Have you seen Boon?

He disappeared when we got here.

He's probably upstairs talking to Otter.

No doubt.

They're well-known homosexuals.

Have another beer. She's just kidding.

Right, Bluto?

You going out tonight, Otter?

Norma?

No. Let me give you a hint.

She's got a couple of major-league yabos.

Beverly!

No.

But you're getting warmer.

Let me give you another hint.

Does this ring a bell?

- "Oh, God. Oh, God!"

- Marlene.

You're going to pork Marlene Desmond?

- Pork?

- You're gonna hump her brains out.

I anticipate a deeply religious experience.

Why the interest in my social life?

Where's Katy?

Downstairs, pissed off about something.

She thinks you're an immature jerk?

Yeah.

I don't take anything seriously.

She'll take this seriously.

Try it.

- You guys coming down?

- This thing talk?

There are 50 people

trying to get into this fraternity.

Otter, you are the rush chairman.

You should be present at the rush party.

Hi. My name is Kent Dorfman.

Eric Stratton, rush chairman.

Damn glad to meet you.

D- Day!

Eric Stratton, rush chairman.

Damn glad to meet you.

That was Eric Stratton.

He was damn glad to meet you.

Larry, I see you've met D-Day.

You're having a nice time. That's good.

Eric Stratton. Damn glad to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice tie!

Is that a clip-on?

Boon, come check this out.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

Ninety percent rayon! Very nice.

Hi, boys. Having a good time, I hope?

Excuse me.

- Did your mother buy that?

- Yes.

Kent is a legacy, Otter.

His brother was a '59. Fred Dorfman.

He said legacies

get asked to pledge automatically.

Usually, unless the pledge in question

is a real closet case, like Fred.

- My brother.

- Kent, come over here.

- I liked the tie.

- Great tie.

Katy.

Eric Stratton, rush chairman.

Damn glad to meet you.

Katy!

- Where are you going?

- Home.

- We just got here!

- No, you just got here.

I've been downstairs entertaining some kid

from Pig's Knuckle, Arkansas.

Maybe we could drive

to your folks' place this weekend.

Fabulous.

My car filled with your beer buddies going

up to empty my parents' liquor cabinet?

It's too depressing to think about.

Just you and me, and Otter and another girl.

Is this what you're going to do

for the rest of your life?

What do you mean?

Hanging around with animals,

getting drunk every weekend?

No.

After I graduate...

I'm going to get drunk every night.

I think I'm in love with a retard.

Is he bigger than me?

Greg...

what is the worst fraternity on this campus?

That would be hard to say, sir.

They're each outstanding in their own way...

Cut the horseshit, son.

I've got their disciplinary files here.

Who dumped a whole truckload of fizzies

into the swim meet?

Who delivered the medical-school cadavers

to the alumni dinner?

Every Halloween,

the trees are filled with underwear.

Every spring, the toilets explode.

You're talking about Delta, sir.

Of course I'm talking about Delta,

you twerp!

This year, it's gonna be different.

This year we'll grab the bull by the balls...

and kick those punks off campus!

What do you intend to do, sir?

Delta's already on probation.

They are?

Yes, sir.

Oh...

Then as of now,

they're on double secret probation!

Double secret probation, sir?

There is a little-known codicil

in the Faber College Constitution...

which gives the Dean

unlimited power to preserve order...

in time of campus emergency.

Find me a way to revoke Delta's charter.

You live next door.

Put Neidermeyer on it.

He's a sneaky little sh*t just like you, right?

The time has come for someone

to put his foot down.

And that foot is me.

Larry Kroger. All in favour.

We need the dues.

Good. Larry Kroger is now a pledge

to Delta. Next slide, please.

Just a minute! Just settle down!

This is Kent Dorfman.

He's a legacy from Harrisburg.

Now wait a minute!

Okay, this guy is a real zero. That's true.

Think back to when you were freshmen.

Boon, you had a face

like a pepperoni pizza, right?

And Stork here. Everybody thought

that Stork was brain damaged.

I myself was so obnoxious...

the seniors beat me up once a week.

So this guy is a total loser?

Let me tell you the story of another loser.

Get up!

Let's go! On your feet!

"I..." State your name.

I... state your name.

"...do hereby pledge allegiance to the frat."

...do hereby pledge allegiance to the frat.

"With liberty and fraternity for all."

Amen.

Sergeant at Arms...

do your duty.

From now on,

your Delta Tau Chi name is Weasel.

From now on your name is Mothball.

Kroger, your Delta Tau Chi name is Pinto.

- Why Pinto?

- Why not?

What's my Delta Tau Chi name?

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