Unseen + Untold: National Lampoon's Animal House Page #4

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These are the charges

as recorded this day...

15 November, 1962.

Faithfully submitted...

Douglas C. Neidermeyer...

Sergeant at Arms.

- Well done.

- Robert Hoover will speak for Delta house.

I don't think you can

fully judge a fraternity...

without looking at the positive qualities

of the people in it.

The Delta house has a long tradition

of existence to its members...

and to the community at large.

We've heard enough, Mr. Chairman.

- I was told I'd have a chance to...

- That's enough.

The court will now decide.

- You said...

- He said that's it! Are you deaf?

Let's finish this damn thing.

Blow job!

- I don't think it's fair!

- I'll tell you what's fair and what's not!

Eat me!

- Tell those a**holes to shut up.

- Shut up, a**holes!

- Do we have to listen to this?

- Point of parliamentary procedure.

- Don't screw around. They're serious.

- Take it easy, I'm in prelaw.

- Thought you're premed?

- What's the difference?

Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief.

What do you think he's up to?

The issue here is not

whether we broke a few rules or...

took a few liberties

with our female party guests.

We did.

But you can't hold a whole fraternity

responsible for the behaviour of...

a few sick, perverted individuals.

If you do...

shouldn't we blame

the whole fraternity system?

And if the whole fraternity system is guilty...

then isn't this an indictment

of our educational institutions in general?

I put it to you, Greg.

Isn't this an indictment

of our entire American society?

Well...

you can do what you want to us...

but we won't sit here...

and listen to you badmouth

the United States of America!

Gentlemen!

Order!

You're not walking out

on this one, mister.

You're finished.

No more Delta!

You've bought it this time, buster!

I'm calling your national office!

I'm going to revoke your charter!

If you wise guys try one more thing...

one more, I'll kick you out of this college!

No more fun of any kind!

When my father was in Korea,

he wasn't flying. He was in the infantry.

He was an officer, of course...

How does it feel to be an independent?

How does it feel to be an a**hole?

What did he say?

Hoover says we can't even enter a float

in the homecoming parade.

Some stupid zombies riding piles of Kleenex

down the street?

Look!

Goddamn son of a b*tch!

I'll kill you, you scumbag!

Jerk-off! A**holes!

Jesus. What's going on?

They confiscated everything,

even the stuff we didn't steal.

They took the bar!

The whole f***ing bar!

Thanks. I needed that.

Christ.

This is ridiculous.

What are we going to do?

Road trip.

You can't take the car!

Fred wrote the mileage down!

He wants it back by Sunday.

Please don't take the car!

He'll be very mad at me!

Get in.

Otter, don't you understand?

He wants it back by Sunday!

Fred's gonna kill me. This car is expensive!

I'll get in trouble!

We can have fun, but drive carefully!

We won't tell anybody!

I hear Dickinson girls are fast.

What should I say?

Mention modern art, civil rights

or folk music, you're in like Flynn.

- You sure we have dates?

- Absolutely. What's the chick's name?

Fawn Liebowitz.

- She was from Fort Wayne, Indiana.

- I hope I score. Oh, boy!

Oh, boy!

Turn the car around. I'll be right back.

Excuse me.

Can I help you?

I'm here to pick up my date.

Could you ring Fawn Liebowitz?

Fawn Liebowitz?

Just a minute.

Hello, Shelly?

This is Brunella at the desk.

Could you come down here? Now.

A boy is here for Fawn.

Thank you.

- Is she coming down?

- Her roommate is. Fawn isn't here. She...

Would you excuse me a minute?

Evening.

I'm Shelly Dubinsky, Fawn's roommate.

I'm Frank Lymon from Amherst,

Fawn's fianc.

Actually, we're engaged to be engaged.

What's wrong with everyone here?

Why don't we sit down, Frank?

I don't know how to tell you...

so I'll just tell you.

Fawn's dead.

She's dead?

Did she put you up to this? That minx.

What a lively sense of humour.

"Sophomore dies in kiln explosion"?

- Oh, my God!

- I'm terribly sorry, Frank.

I just talked to her last week.

She was gonna make a pot for me.

If there's anything I can do...

You're so nice.

- I really shouldn't impose on you.

- No, really. Anything.

I don't think I should be alone tonight.

Would you go out with me?

I'll get my coat.

Could you get three dates for my friends?

Otter, holy sh*t! Otis Day

and the Knights! I don't believe this.

It feels so good to be back here

at the Dexter Lake Club.

We'd like to do a tune entitled:

Shama Lama Ding Dong.

So hit it!

Wait till Otis sees us! He loves us!

Oh, my God!

It's dented!

We are going to die.

We're the only white people here.

- Are you sure...

- Don't worry about a thing, man.

A double rock 'n' rye, and...

seven Carlings.

Otis! My man!

You girls come here often?

- Are you all right?

- Yeah.

This is really fun.

I'm really sorry.

I know what you must be going through.

Would you rather be alone?

- What are you majoring in?

- What?

- What are you majoring in?

- Primitive cultures.

I need you so much.

I'm here.

Move to your left a little.

Good.

Where do you go to school?

I wonder where Otter is.

Maybe I should go look for him.

I used to touch Fawn this way.

I know.

She told me.

She did?

Do you mind if we dance with your dates?

Why, no, not at all. Go right ahead.

If I was in your shoes...

- I'd be...

- Leaving. What a good idea.

Compose yourself,

we got to get out of here!

The Negroes took our dates!

Oh, my God! Please be careful!

This will cost hundreds of dollars to fix!

Oh, my God!

We're out.

What baffles me is why

Fawn would go out with boys like that.

- They reminded me of criminals.

- They were horrible.

I think Frank was kind of cute.

I really felt sorry for him.

He started crying and...

What did Katy say?

She wasn't home.

Where could she be at 6:00 a. M?

- What's with you two?

- I don't know. Something's wrong.

Women. Can't live with them,

can't live without them.

You know where Mandy is?

She was supposed to help make tea.

Sure don't.

She said she was just

going to wash her hair.

That's typical. Just when we're doing

something important.

I hate to see her make

such a chump out of you.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that Mandy and Eric Stratton

are having an affair.

But I love you, Greg.

That's why I had to tell you.

Babs...

I want you to do something for me.

Good.

I'm outta here.

Katy?

Good luck.

Hey. Stop blubbering.

When I'm through with this thing,

you won't even recognise it.

Come on, Flounder.

You can't worry forever

about your mistakes.

You f***ed up. You trusted us.

Make the best of it. Maybe we can help you.

That's easy for you to say.

What am I going to I tell Fred?

I'll tell you what.

I'll swear you were doing a great job

taking care of his car, but...

you parked it out back last night,

and this morning, it was gone.

D- Day takes care of the wreck.

We tell the police. Your brother's insurance

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