Vacancy 2: The First Cut

Hey, hey, you're gonna kill us.

If I wreck my brother's car...

Let's just wait.

No, I can't wait.

You can't wait either.

I told you to take it easy

with that champagne.

- You take it easy with...

- Hey! Hey!

Okay.

- You're on private property.

- Sorry, we're just lost.

And you figured she might have a map

tucked up under that dress.

Don't feed me that bullshit.

I know what's going on.

Go do it someplace else.

Hello?

Hello?

- Evening.

- Hey, what's going on, man?

We're on our way down to Danville.

I was wondering if you had a room

where we could rest up?

Maybe like an hourly deal

or something?

Sorry. It's nightly rates only.

But I do have a nice room

for you to rest up.

Cool.

Baby, hurry up!

Baby!

- Come on!

- Keep the change.

Honeymoon suite.

Hurry up.

Let's get to work.

I wasn't shy before we were married.

No reason to start now.

Come on.

- What happened?

- I don't know.

What's going on?

It's okay, babe.

- I don't know. Old wires maybe.

- That was freaky.

We should go back to the car.

Are you kidding me? Now?

Come on, I'm dying here.

Come on, babe.

Please?

Remember, till death do us part?

That got a better view.

Newlyweds are always the best.

Newlyweds and cheating husbands.

- Hurry up!

- I'm coming.

Hey, hey, get your feet off the dash!

Hang on, babe! Hang on!

That kid better slow down a bit.

Hustle back and fold up the sheets

in case we got another.

Welcome to the Meadow View.

I'd like a single for the night.

Got a room open.

- Can I have a print of your ID?

- I left my ID in the car.

The name's Smith.

Not a problem.

You know, I think the pipes

are backed up in 2.

It's number 6. Down on the end.

Enjoy your stay, Mr. Smith.

I'm in lousy shape, man.

I couldn't even make her out.

Is she worth watching?

You gotta put in a new microphone.

- Yeah.

- We can barely hear this.

He don't...

He don't trust your housekeeping.

Probably one of them germ freaks.

Where do you want me?

I want you on the bed.

Face down.

Should I take this off

so it doesn't get wet?

What...? What is that?

I can get you a hundred copies

by the morning.

Make it 25.

Sales are slow.

Same old sh*t. It's getting old.

Are you kidding me?

Look at her.

What you have here is classic.

Twenty-five.

- What's going on?

- We have a problem.

- Reece!

- This guy...

- What's the problem?

- It's nothing we can't handle.

Jesus.

What the hell is this? This sh*t real?

Oh, yeah.

Damn.

Where's this guy here?

Right... That dude.

We have no idea what to do with him.

Did he know her?

Who's the lady?

She must have killed herself

when I checked in.

You in the habit

of murdering strange women?

We got it all on video.

All of it. Everything.

Just my luck, huh?

A couple of peeping Toms.

Should we call the cops?

This is... This is a murder scene.

You call the cops, all right,

they start asking questions.

You run the risk

of exposing your operation.

We could kill him.

We yank the camera.

We heard screams,

but we couldn't get there in time.

- Or you could untie me.

- What was that?

You could untie me.

Put my skills to use.

You've got a...

You've got a setup here.

It's a real moneymaker.

Nobody buys porn anymore.

But killing...

Killing is different, you know.

Watching somebody die...

...I mean, that's rare. It's valuable.

We could work together.

We could sell 10,000 copies easy.

Well, you know...

...there is a market

for this type of deal.

As soon as we untie him

he's gonna take off.

Getting paid to kill. What better deal

am I gonna get than that?

Who said anything

about getting paid?

Well, I am doing the dirty work.

I get equal cut.

You got big demands

for a fella tied to a chair.

Equal.

Otherwise, wrap me up with her

when you're finished.

Give me the knife.

Gordon, what's to keep him

from wrapping us up in plastic?

You get out of line...

...someone anonymously drops

that tape off to the police.

He's gonna have another copy,

so if something happens to us...

...well, he'll take care of the rest.

Now, let's get something straight.

I run the show here.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Are you sure about this?

If it doesn't work,

empty your shotgun into him.

Let's shut down for a few days.

Get everything in order.

Let's go bury

our first star someplace.

Eight hundred miles.

It's a long way from home.

Home is where the heart is, Caleb.

Don't you ever forget that.

I thought you were serious.

I was about to jump out.

Don't do that. They might not

find your body out here for weeks.

This was a mistake.

You're over-thinking again.

Everything is gonna be fine.

I mean, what if your father

doesn't like me?

Why would he not like you?

You're almost perfect.

- Almost?

- Yeah.

Yeah, everything except for

that weird sideburn defect you have.

- Hey, my sideburns.

- They're never even.

You don't know the difference between

a socket and crescent wrench.

And there's that little issue of you

stealing his only daughter away, but...

- I'm sure it'll be fine.

- Oh, Jesus.

This is such a mistake.

Yes, this is a mistake! So turn back.

Go back now, dude.

Let's just go back. Let's go home.

You promised you were gonna be

sleeping the rest of the way.

How can I sleep

when my best friend is about to...

...disappears into

the Virginia wilderness?

- It's North Carolina.

- Same difference.

All outhouses and corn bread

and damn AM radio.

- You're an idiot, you know that?

- That's irrelevant.

I bet you that at some time

during your youth out here...

...your old man taught you

how to hunt.

Didn't he? Come on, tell the truth.

I know you know how to hunt.

Right? Come on, didn't he?

Hunting does not

make somebody a hillbilly.

I knew it.

I told you, what'd I tell you?

Why are you even here?

To help my boy Caleb

with all this sh*t back here, remember?

Because you're not supposed to do any

heavy lifting in your present condition.

Reason number 27 why Daddy's

not gonna think you're perfect, dude.

He's just messing with you.

Tell her you're just f***ing around.

- I am just f***ing around, man.

- Thanks.

So, what's our ETA into Hooterville?

A few more hours, Tanner.

Well, I'm not the smartest guy, but it

might not be the best first impression...

...waking up the family

at 3 in the morning.

- What do you think, Jess?

- Whatever you want, babe.

It'd give me a chance to shower.

Even out these sideburns.

You know what?

You're right.

It's going to be perfect.

Meadow View, great.

Add it to the list of other

high-class motels we passed.

Prairie View, River View,

Mountain View.

Somebody should come up

with Titty View.

Now, that is a joint

I wouldn't mind staying in.

That sounds nice. Titty View.

You have to make it so easy

for her to see you're an idiot?

- What?

- Stop trying to press her buttons.

It's hard not to, dude. There's just

so many damn buttons to push.

Hey. Tanner's just pissed

because I'm leaving.

All right? Don't worry about it.

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