Valentine's Day Page #3

What language do you speak in?

I used to speak Bulgarian.

But I'm an American citizen now.

Does anybody here speak English

with a Bulgarian accent?

MAN:
Over here. I do.

- There he is.

Bulgarize away. Here we go.

There she is!

The future Mrs. Reed Bennett!

MICHAEL:

Oh. Chrysanthemums.

- Hi. Babe.

- Hi. Baby.

Hello. Fiancee.

It sounds weird. Have you said it yet?

Nikki. Take over for a minute.

Come this way.

Wait. These are for you.

I knew they were for somebody.

- Darah. Have you met my fiancee?

- Hi. Morley.

- Hi.

- I just like saying it. I feel so grown-up.

MICHAEL:

Next. Please!

- Look what you forgot.

- Dee. That is...

Is one empty hand.

Oh. Yeah.

Don't be mad.

Mad? Why would I be mad?

I'm concerned.

Well. Just...

Do you have any idea what it would be

like at work today if I wore that thing?

- I mean. People will be asking me...

- "Where'd you get the big ring?"

You know. "How many bridesmaids?"

And. "How did he do it?"

- "Gonna have kids? How many?"

- Three.

- What?

- Two dogs. And maybe some chickens.

- We can talk about it. We don't have to.

- Dweetheart. I just think right now...

...it would be better if maybe

we could just keep it a secret.

MAN:
Where are you from?

WOMAN:
I am from Ruse.

All right. You guys can start

a Bulgarian village together. All right.

Oh. My God. Iook. There's the bride. Hi.

Listen. I called my BFF. Tony.

He is already on the dress.

He does all the gowns in Vegas.

Cher. Celine. Carrot Top.

This is going to be so much fun!

Oh. My God. It's...

- Breathe. Breathe.

- I have to breathe.

Okay.

- Dee what I mean?

- Yep. I get it.

EDGAR:

Do...

...Iove is the problem?

- Did you ever have it?

- Oh. Yeah.

EDIDON:

How old were you when you got it?

Let's see. I'd just started working

at an architectural firm...

...and there was this beautiful young girl.

And she was studying to be an actress.

Was your heart kind of going:

Yeah. Yeah. Just that way. It went.

Bumpada. Bumpada. Bumpada. Boom.

You betcha. Just like that.

One day I got up the courage

to introduce myself.

I walk out. Walked right up to her

and opened my mouth and...

...nothing comes out.

- Nothing?

Nothing. Not a peep. But she's just waiting

for me to say something. I'm like a statue.

Do finally she says.

"All right. I'll meet you here at 6:30."

Dhe knew what you were going to say.

Yep. Yeah. Dhe's been reading my mind

like that for 51 years.

The pretty girl was Grandma. Right?

The pretty girl is Grandma. Right?

- When are we gonna get there. Grandpa?

- Coming up to Moorpark.

Making a left turn right here.

What's Moorpark spelled backwards?

EDIDON:
I don't know.

- "Kraproom."

- Grandpa.

- And don't say that in school.

WOMAN:

Hello. Diena Bouquet.

REED:
I'll come with you on runs.

ALPHONDO:
You got it.

REED:

But we gotta hustle. They're flying in now.

I'm always hustling. Baby.

REED:
No. No. No. Like. "hustle" hustle.

Like. No. Don't dilly-dally. Okay?

Let me tell you. I don't dilly-dally.

- I only upsy-daisy.

- All right.

[PERCY DLEDGE'D "WHEN A MAN LOVED

A WOMAN" PLAYD OVER DPEAKERD]

When a man loves a woman

Crazy businessman.

This guy. Like. He wants to give

family discounts to his 30 cousins.

What is this?

What have you got going...?

Excuse me. Can I help you?

I'd like to send a dozen of those

to the best girl at my school.

- And this musical card.

- A dozen of those with thi...?

This... It's...

Okay.

- All right. Where am I sending these to?

- Falcon Crest Elementary.

You can MapQuest it.

I actually know where it's at.

I got a friend that goes there.

Cool. During recess

would be the best time.

When you get there. Just hand me

the flowers. And I'll do the rest.

- Okay?

- I'll be there. Thank you. Sir.

What's up with the cutest kid in the world

coming in here?

And he shorted me. He just gave me. Like.

15 bucks for a $55 arrangement.

- Could I please have my receipt?

- What. Did you get audited last year?

I did.

They always get the good guys.

I'm telling you. Here.

Thanks.

JADON:

Do. Like. Last night. Amazing.

This morning.

She couldn't get away fast enough.

Any chance there was a little. Shall we say.

Disappointment on her part?

No. What? No. None.

At all.

- Well... No. No. No. It was fine.

- Fine's not good enough. Dude.

It was better than fine.

It was a solid A.

Minus. B plus. A minus. A minus.

I hate Valentine's Day.

Why can't these guys deliver their

flowers to their girlfriends themselves?

- Wait. What?

- They just dump them in the mailroom.

- I mean. If they don't wanna take the time to...

- Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

- It's Valentine's Day today?

- Hello?

Happy Valentine's Day.

Wha...? No. It's a Monday.

Valentine's Day always falls on a Thursday.

That's Thanksgiving. Hoosier-head.

- Really?

- You're 25. You thought that for 25 years?

Dude. He's from Indiana.

They only celebrate Love Your Cousin Day.

No. You're thinking of Kentucky. Of course

Liz was acting weird this morning.

You do have something planned

for tonight. Right?

How could I have something planned for

tonight? I didn't even know until right now.

I can do my lunch break.

And I can do after 5?

Okay. Great.

No. No. No.

I don't mind people with fetishes.

No. No. No. Very creative people.

I gotta put you on hold. Sorry.

Good morning.

- You're a strong. Confident person.

- Good morning. Who are you?

I am Liz. I am one of the receptionists.

I'm subbing for Monica.

Oh. Yeah. Monica.

Because she wanted today off.

Dhit. She has a life.

Dhe had a funeral. Which is a life.

I guess.

Well. Liz. I'm Paula.

I know they call me Bipolar Paula. Don't.

But you should know I'm in crisis.

- Okay.

- I don't wanna talk about it.

- Okay.

- It has nothing to do with being alone...

...on Valentine's Day.

- Of course not.

And everything to do with the client

in crisis.

- That sounds challenging.

- "Challenging"?

Gotta figure out if he still has

an athletic career.

If he doesn't. Big fat problemo.

Well. I'm here

to help you solve that problem.

Who's on hold?

My mother.

I'm sorry.

Hangs up on her own mother.

That's cold.

We might just get along.

Hello, I'm Hannah Storm.

And with football season officially over...

... the only lingering question is:

What will Sean Jackson do?

A devastating loss

in the championship game last week...

... leaves his future in question.

His contract is up, and at age 35...

... he's one of the oldest quarterbacks

in the league.

Does his team want him back?

MAN:
Of course I want Sean Jackson back.

But it's not my decision.

DTORM:
If not,

will he test the waters of free agency?

Or will he make this easier on

everyone...

... and just retire?

Come on. Hannah. Lighten up.

Hi. Neighbor!

WOMAN:
Hey. Dean.

- Hey. Girls.

Hey. When are you gonna come over

for a swim?

Oh. Sorry. Sweetie.

I got lots going on today.

- I'm running out of patience.

- And I'm running out of willpower.

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