Valentine's Day Page #5

Is there any way you could help me?

- Day no more.

- Thank you.

Could I get an order form. Please.

For the great doctor here?

I need two arrangements.

Domething special. Long-stemmed roses for

each one of my...

...ladies.

I need your discretion.

We have an understanding. Right?

I understand. There's a florist code.

Great. Here's the credit card.

And here are the addresses.

These are the addresses for the ladies.

- Harrison Copeland?

- Yes. You need... You want some ID?

Nope. Dhould be good. Uh...

Okay. This Julia Fitzpatrick.

That would be your...

...girlfriend.

- Yes.

- And this Pamela Copeland...

...it's the same last name as you.

Would that be your wife?

Yes.

I thought we had some sort of code.

Understanding.

The code is the code. I just wanna

make sure that your understanding...

...is the same understanding

as my understanding. Understand?

- Yeah. Can you run the card. Please?

- Yep.

Thank you. I have to get my wallet.

I'll be right back.

- Wish me luck.

- All us virgins are pulling for you. Whoo!

If you need any help. Text me.

[DOG BARKING]

Pushkin.

Good girl. Go play.

Pushkin. No. Downstairs. Pushkin.

One...

[DINGING] Oh, Grace

When I saw your face

Oh, Grace

Hey. You. Come on.

Mommy's home for a minute.

Wha...? Come on. Sweetie.

Made my heart race

Like a high-speed chase

- Grace

- Grace?

Oh. My...! Alex!

- Holy... Mrs. Dmart. Oh. My gosh!

- What are you doing here?

I'm rehearsing!

- Naked?

- Naked! Yes!

It's... It's experiment...

I'm doing an... Ow! Experimental show.

It's very. Very avant-garde type of thing.

And the... Oh. Sh*t! I mean. Excuse me!

- It's okay. I've heard the word before.

- Not sh*t!

God. Iook at the time. I gotta go.

Thank you for everything. Though.

Ow!

ALEX:
I'm so sorry!

- It's okay.

- Are you okay?

- Please! Do not come closer.

This does not look right. Alex.

- Thanks for everything and...

- Oh. My God.

- No. Pushkin. Pushkin. No.

- Pushkin. Pushkin.

That's okay.

You know what. I'm gonna just...

All right. Breathe. Oh. My goodness.

All right.

ALEX:

Dee you very soon. Mrs. Dmart! Bye-bye.

MRD. DMART:

Alex. Honey. Cover your hoo-hoo!

[CAR HORN HONKING]

[MAN WHIDTLED]

- Grace! Grace!

- What are you doing? What happened?

- Mom.

- What. Your mom?

- Yeah. Sure. My mom was at your house.

- Wha...?

- My mom. What did you say?

- That I was rehearsing.

Naked? Did she buy it?

ALEX:
I think so.

My fear made me very convincing.

I wrote you a song.

[IN RUDDIAN ACCENT]

If you do that again. Vladimir...

...I will have no choice

but to get down off my horse...

...and punish you.

JADON:
Hello? Who wants a valentine?

I am wearing my thigh-high

black leather boots...

...carrying my riding crop.

Now pull down your pants

and bend over.

JADON:

I think this floor has the most valentines.

What a sweet little pink ass you have.

And I will beat it with my crop...

...until you submit to me.

You filthy peasant.

I will beat it. And beat it.

And beat it. And beat it.

[DPEAKD IN RUDDIAN]

[IN NADAL VOICE]

Thank you for calling Naughty Nymphos.

The charge will appear on

your credit card as Vague Entertainment.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]

Hi there!

Hi. Well. If it isn't the gymnast.

Well... Yes.

To paraphrase some poet:

"There's a hell of a nice universe

next door.

- Let's go."

- E.E. Cummings.

Yeah. E.E. Good stuff. Yeah. Good stuff.

- I think you said he was your favorite.

- Yes.

I did say he was my favorite.

He had me at the font.

I feel. Like. So stupid for forgetting

that it's Valentine's Day today.

- Oh. No. It's really not a big deal.

- You know what. It is to me.

Do can I take you out tonight?

Yes. That would be wonderful. Yes.

PAULA:
How fast does that cart go?

- Well. Let's find out.

PAULA:

Liz...

...there's a man on line 2 asking me to

cover him up in Vaseline and bubble wrap.

I'll take care of that. Damn prank callers.

And he doesn't have a Russian accent.

So I don't think you'll need your horse.

- You heard that?

- It's my phone line.

Oh. Paula. I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.

Am I fired?

It's cool.

You got a way with dirty words. I like that.

Just make sure

you answer my calls first.

Absolutely.

Oh. You do not have to worry about...

...that.

Probably not gonna make

Employee of the Month.

MAN 1 [ON RADIO]: You're listening to

"Mike and Mike in the Morning" on ESPN...

... America's number one

sports talk show.

And, Greeny, the news of the hour:

Sean Jackson, now a free agent.

MAN 2:
What's he supposed to do?

MAN 1:
He can check out Craigslist...

... see who's hiring.

Oh. Man. Hey. Man. You see this?

You did this.

Man. You're gonna pay for this.

Easy. Big fella. I know it was my fault.

If you just call my business manager.

He's got all my information.

And I'll have my business manager call

your business manager. Okay?

Dean Jackson. Oh. Man. My neck.

Oh. And my back.

And my chest. I'm just kidding.

- Whoa. Dude. Will you sign my hat?

- Dure.

Thirty-five completions.

Three touchdowns on the ground.

They think you should hang it up.

That's gratitude for you.

Well. Thanks. Buddy.

But that door's pretty messed up.

You got another truck?

Yeah. But I'm already behind.

Valentine's Day is kind of a big day

flower-wise.

I don't know why people get flowers

delivered. You can give them yourself.

Dome folks like to get flowers

at the workshop.

To some people. Iove doesn't exist unless

you acknowledge it in front of other people.

You're a superstar. Dean. Drive better.

Whoop!

Yeah. Kara. It's me.

Listen. I know what I wanna do.

I think.

Oh. No. Man. Not today.

[DPEAKING IN DPANIDH]

REED:

Do. What do I do?

Do I tell her and break her heart.

Or keep it to myself and stay out of it?

- It's none of my business.

- You want my opinion?

Yes. No.

Well. It depend... What's your opinion?

Ask yourself.

If the situation was reversed...

...what would you want her to do?

- Why you gotta be so sensitive?

- It's because you're so fragile.

Okay. So a neutral chlorine atom

has 17 protons and 17 electrons.

And. If these two atoms become...

- Hi.

- This order came into the shop for you.

- I thought I'd deliver it myself.

- Hey. Guys. This is my friend. Reed.

- Day hi.

- Hi. Reed.

Take a look at chapter 10. section two.

Just. Quietly. To yourselves.

They're from Harrison.

Did he come into the shop? Wow.

Did you meet him?

I kind of need to talk to you.

Do you have a second?

Yeah. Sure.

Edison. You're in charge.

BOY:
Recess. Let's party.

- Dit down. And be quiet. Got that?

I'm just glad you got to see them.

They're so cute.

- Yeah. They're great.

- Hey. Guess what.

I got a flight. I'm leaving at 5:30.

I'll be there by dinner.

You know what. Actually.

I don't think it's a good idea.

- Why? It was your idea.

- Well. Sometimes I have bad ideas.

It was a genius idea.

- Mr. Bouquet. What about my flowers?

- Is everything okay?

- I gave you $13.

- Oh. Right. I remember.

Rate this script:1.5 / 2 votes