Vampire's Kiss Page #2

But I have a million other things to do.

I just want you to be here and listen

to the song and dance that I have to do.

That I have to do

because you haven't done your job.

Ready?

- Hi, Frank. How are you?

- Hello, Peter. I'm just fine, thanks.

Listen, I won't hold you.

About that letter I sent...

requesting the copy of Rattlesnake Hills'

sale to Der Spiegel.

There is absolutely no rush on that.

I know it's an old contract.

It's gonna take some digging. I'm sure

you and your girls got better things to do.

I'm in the middle of moving,

so take your time.

I'll call you

when I'm all settled in. Okay?

Okay, Frank.

How's things? Life treating you well?

- Yeah, Frank.

- Good. Well, take care, old buddy.

- All right. Bye-bye, Frank.

- Bye.

Well...

Seems I didn't have to do

a song and dance after all.

As you could hear,

I couldn't get a word in edgewise.

Mr. Heatherton is boiling mad.

And he has implied that if he doesn't get

that copy within the week...

he will terminate

his agreement with us...

and sign up with a more

efficient agency.

Am I getting through to you?

I'll go right to it.

Judy, I'll be out

for the rest of the day.

- Two.

- Yeah.

Do I get waited on today?

I'm sitting here for 15 minutes.

Right away, sir.

And then, he took me on one

of those horse-and-carriage rides.

You're kidding.

And in the middle of it, he asked me...

- He asked you what?

- To marry him.

F***ing greasehole!

Are you all right, sir? Sure? Are you?

- Hello.

- Dr. Glaser.

You have reached the office

of Dr. Dorothy Glaser.

Please leave your name...

Hello?

Jackie?

Yeah?

Don't hang up, please. This is Peter.

I want to explain about the other day.

There was a reason...

I had a very good reason

for doing what I did.

Look, you know I'm very fond of you.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

It was some illness.

I feel funny

talking on the phone about this.

Better be a hell of a good reason.

Let's meet. Can you? Tonight?

You wanna get together tonight?

Meet somewhere?

I can't for a couple of hours.

Fine.

Let's just say 9:00. Mondo Cane.

All right.

9:
00.

Great. Okay. I'll see you then. Bye-bye.

Who's there?

Who is it?

He is wondering:

"How did she get in here?"

And he is realizing...

that he let her in, as she is his lover.

His most passionate mistress.

And he is realizing...

that she is a jealous mistress.

Alva.

There you are!

What the hell is he doing in here?

I have a gun.

If you hurt me, I'm gonna use it.

What the f*** is going on?

I don't know.

I'm doing all I can.

Maybe the contract was lost.

Don't come near me!

I'm telling Mr. Langdon about this.

And I swear I'm gonna use my gun

if you ever touch me.

Just once.

No. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean...

I'm sorry.

You all right, honey?

Yeah.

Nothing like a little office trauma

to keep things interesting.

The chase was my favorite part.

Pete hurdling over those desks.

You weren't there for the grand finale.

She asked me for a raise.

Can you believe it?

She does keep a gun

in that little bag of hers.

- Get out of here.

- Really!

She takes the subway into Pelham

every night, I don't blame the kid.

She asked me for a raise

for getting chased into the ladies' room.

I think she deserves it, Sidney.

You can take it out of Attila's paycheck.

F*** you!

One question, Peter.

Is my name written anywhere

on the bathroom wall, and what did it say?

"Beautiful dreamer awake unto me

"Sounds of the bluebird

"heard in the day"

What is happening to me?

"by the moonlight have all passed away

"Beautiful dreamer

"queen of my heart

"List while I woo thee

"with soft melody

"Gone are the cares of..."

I had a difficult day yesterday.

Got a little upset...

at the office.

Do you want to talk about it?

It's just, there's this contract

we're trying to locate.

Shouldn't...

If a company...

If a literary agency...

makes a copy of every contract...

Of every single contract

it makes with a client...

and then puts it in a file...

in the appropriate file...

shouldn't the copy...

be in that file?

- Yes, I suppose it should.

- It should, right?

- Yes.

- Right?

Unless, of course,

it's somehow been misfiled.

- Misfiled?

- Yes, misfiled.

Sometimes somebody puts a document

in the wrong file, and then it's misfiled.

It makes it much harder to find.

What do you mean? Who?

I don't know who exactly.

- You don't?

- I don't.

Whoever filed

it in the first place, but...

For God's sakes, I am not telling you

one single thing you don't already know.

How could somebody misfile something?

What could be easier?

It's all alphabetical.

You just put it in the right file,

according to alphabetical order.

- You know, A, B, C, D, E, F, G.

- Peter.

H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P.

Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z.

That's all you have to do!

Very good. You know your alphabet.

I've never misfiled anything!

Not once! Not one time!

I'm sure that you didn't.

I want to know, really. Who did?

I cannot possibly tell you that.

- You can't?

- I can't.

And you call yourself a psychiatrist.

It's kinda bright in here, isn't it?

He is so eccentric.

Yes, Mr. Loew?

Actually, she's just leaving.

Sure. Alva,

Mr. Loew would like to see you.

Come in.

I hope you're not still angry at me

about the other day.

I apologized and I honestly meant it.

Pistachio?

That mescaline does strange stuff.

I'll never do that again. Jeez.

I know. I did it once.

- Did you?

- Just once, in high school.

High school.

Yes.

Those were the days.

So. Why do you have your coat on?

I'm leaving. It's 5:00.

But you know, you still haven't found

that contract yet, have you?

There are 15 Der Spiegel files.

It's all I do all day.

But you haven't found it yet.

Don't you think it would be

a good idea to stay late?

Maybe work a little overtime?

My eyes are killing me.

I was also thinking today...

that maybe you could put somebody else

on the job for a while.

Or another secretary to help me out.

To make the job easier.

There is no one else

in this entire office...

that I could possibly ask

to share such a horrible job.

You're the lowest

on the totem pole here. The lowest.

Do you realize that?

Every other secretary who's been here

has been here longer than you. Every one.

And even if there was someone here who

was here just one day longer than you...

I still wouldn't ask that person

to partake in such a miserable job...

as long as you were around.

That's right.

It's a horrible job.

Sifting through old contract

after old contract.

I couldn't think of a more horrible job

if I wanted to.

And you have to do it. You have to.

Or I'll fire you. Do you understand?

Do you?

Good.

There's no problem then. Is there?

Don't you want to use your gun?

Here you go.

Hey, man. You forgot your food.

I hate interrupted

love affairs, don't you?

How much nicer when the outside world

doesn't interfere with the pleasure.

You were so right

to put yourself into my hands.

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