Vampire's Kiss Page #4

you want to talk.

I'll see ya.

F***ing bastards!

We just got these in.

Now, these are fiberglass.

Very lifelike.

See the way they color them.

Just a little touch of yellow,

so they blend in better.

- How much?

- Those are $19.95.

What's the matter?

Do you have anything for less?

Sure.

I got some cheapie. Plastic ones.

They're only $3.50.

Cheapie.

I'll take the plastic.

Okay.

Hello?

Hello, Dr. Glaser? This is Peter Loew.

Yes, Peter, how are you?

I wonder if I could make

my next appointment with you sooner.

I'd really like to make it sooner.

Let's see.

My next appointment with you

is Tuesday afternoon, right?

I'd like to make it sooner.

I have an opening Tuesday morning.

How's that?

Sooner.

Do you have a cold?

A cold... Yeah.

Okay, look.

I could squeeze you in on Monday

afternoon. Can you make that?

Sooner.

Is it something very urgent?

Very urgent, yes.

- All right.

- Hurry up, honey.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you come in first thing Monday

morning and I'll come into the office early.

7:
30, All right?

7:
30.

Monday morning.

That's right.

7:
30, Monday morning.

I'm sorry.

Very antisocial, Peter.

Extremely antisocial behavior.

My goodness.

How ever are you going

to continue this way?

Rachel.

Are you actually going

to go through with this every night?

I can do it.

I know I can do it now.

I'm like you. Remember?

You are so pathetic.

This?

I love you.

I'm like you.

You disgust me.

- You're with me.

- Don't touch me.

You are with me.

It doesn't look like it.

Does it, Donald?

No.

It doesn't appear that way.

Does it?

It doesn't appear that way at all.

I love you.

You can't just walk away.

You don't know

what you're doing, damn it!

I said I love you.

Hey, buddy!

You don't remember me?

You don't remember me?

Peter, right?

Yes, right! Peter!

- So, how are you?

- How am I?

Buddy, calm down.

Let go of me, you f***!

- You see her teeth?

- Shut up!

- See her teeth?

- Shut up!

- She's a goddamn vampire!

- No!

Get out of here!

You f***ing c*nt!

You're breaking up with me...

after I sucked that broad bone-dry!

Look at her teeth! All of you!

She's a goddamn vampire!

She made me one, too!

Stay out.

You see, I know I am. I'm a vampire.

I can prove it.

You got a gun?

Get the f*** off me!

No! Don't.

Please. Don't!

Better get back into your coffin, buddy.

The sun's almost up.

She was just a f***ing high-school c*nt.

I don't believe

I ever really loved her, you know.

But she's a c*nt, a high-school...

No!

Sun!

Christ!

This is the end!

I can't take it anymore!

Go ahead! Kill me!

Hey, what's doin'?

What's wrong?

Oh, God.

Hey.

Hey, now.

What's the matter, baby?

What's the matter?

Tell me.

Tell me what happened.

My girlfriend broke up with me.

I'm a vampire.

Kill me!

Your rosary beads.

Take them out

and put the cross up to me like this.

- I no speak the English.

- The cross! The crucifix!

Me vampire!

Vampire, you idiot. Nosferatu.

Christ!

The tortures of the damned!

Get the hell out of the way.

Are you crazy?

All right.

Just tell me when you see him.

I forgot. Where did we leave off?

You wanted very much to make

an earlier appointment, so what's up?

I've been thinking about my depressions

very seriously.

Frankly, I just don't think

you can help me.

I think your profession

is entirely bogus.

Entirely. From my point

of view, that is.

You really think so?

Yes, I do. I've been spending

a lot of money here and I just think...

it's time for a change.

A change?

What did you have in mind for yourself?

Don't laugh.

I'm a professional. I don't laugh.

Love.

Love?

Yes, very real love.

The sweep-me-off-my-feet.

The big "L."

What?

I'm not talking about fairy-tale love.

I mean I'm talking about

a mature relationship.

What do you think, I'm a kid?

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking:

"Sure. Let's see him go out

in the jungle and try to find love.

"He'll come crawling back here

in no time."

I know it isn't easy.

But I know it's possible.

Hell, I see it around me every day.

Do you know how horrible it is

to see it around you every day?

Do you know what kind

of torture that is?

I'll find it, goddamn it.

I'll find it for myself.

And then I'll be happy.

Holy sh*t, then I'll be happy.

You said you wouldn't laugh.

I'm only laughing because...

If you had told me,

if you had just told the good doctor...

The time you could have saved.

The money the both of you

could have saved.

Both of us?

What do you mean the both of us?

You and Sharon.

- Sharon?

- Yes.

The patient who comes in after you.

She complains

of exactly the same thing you do.

Personality-wise,

I think you two are made for each other.

Really?

I should have matched you two guys up

a long time ago.

I think she's here now.

I'll just go and check.

Sharon.

What a beautiful name.

It's incredible.

It's really incredible.

Sharon...

this is Peter Loew.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I like poetry, horseback riding...

Vivaldi and long weekends

in the country.

Those are exactly the same things

that I like.

Wait a minute.

"We walked along, while bright and red

Uprose the rising sun"

Wordsworth.

Incredible.

I guess you two

won't be needing me anymore.

I guess not. Thank you so much.

- This one's going to last, I can tell.

- It was written in the stars.

Written in the stars, yes.

- Do you like Japanese food, Sharon?

- It's the best. So...

Refreshing!

You see that?

We're on exactly the same wavelength.

Fantastic.

So long, Dr. Glaser.

I almost forgot.

Yes?

I did rape someone

a couple of nights ago.

A girl at the office.

I just lost control.

It's just a little id release.

No use in worrying.

I just thought I should tell you, okay?

It's a load off my mind.

Yeah...

Also, I...

Just spit it out.

Well, the fact is,

I did murder someone last night.

I turned into a vampire.

It's a long story.

Goodness.

Peter.

People get murdered every day

in this city.

- Do you think the world is going to stop?

- Yeah, I guess.

But the police, what if they find me?

Would you stop worrying

and just get on with your big romance.

He hasn't even been arrested

and the big lug is carrying on.

Now get out of here, the both of you.

Have a wonderful life together

and I will take care of the cops.

Go on. Get out. Both of you. Out.

Thank you very much, Dr. Glaser.

You are a gem.

Come on, Sharon.

You like that tune?

Actually, I live up right around here.

You wanna come up? You can join me.

I was born in Philadelphia...

but I've been in New York now

for going on 10 years.

And what about you?

Nice.

- Here you go. - I hear

it's very beautiful country up there.

What?

This?

It's like I started saying before,

I turned into a vampire last week.

It's all in the past now.

There he is.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

It's all from a very unhappy period

in my life...

and I don't want to talk about it.

End of subject, okay?

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