VANish

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Rosemary, marry me

in the summer night

The stars will shine for you

and I until we die

Top of the hill

is where you'll say yes

And she says no...

Mmm, it's delicious.

It was a very good year.

No, awesome.

I'm glad you brought me here.

I'm glad you wanted to be here.

I feel like I'm in

high school again

like we are out on lover's lane.

Well, I better get you back

before your curfew then.

Muy fascinate.

You're the fascinating one.

Ahh...

Humanity, Jack.

That's what's being lost.

When you buy a smartphone,

you lose a little bit

of that humanity.

It's simple social skills.

People don't look

people in the eye

when they f***ing to them,

anymore.

Do you know how hard it is

to pick up a chick

in a Laundromat nowadays?

You can't do it, dude,

because she's on her

f***ing phone

in her goddamned Twitter account

with her goddamned followers

tweeting about the

goddamned guy hitting on her

in the f***ing Laundromat.

Don't you find any

benefits of technology?

Last week, your piece of sh*t

Dodge Intrepid

broke down on the I-10 freeway.

All you had to do was

pickup your cell phone,

called AAA up and say,

"Can you come

pick my sorry ass up?"

Well, a kind man pulled over

and helped me out.

Let's see.

I got to meet him

and that was an actual reaction,

you know what I mean?

When I was in Iraq,

I could contact Dad

through Skype.

Vietnam, all they had was a pen,

a piece of paper,

and a 50% chance that

would even reach the States.

Dude, we got to go back.

There's onions in this thing.

No. F*** no.

We ain't going anywhere.

I don't f***ing eat onions.

We're not going back.

You know why?

No.

Onions have penicillin.

Do you know what that is?

I don't care.

Dude, it's an antibiotic

that combats syphilis

and I think you should

probably look into it.

What the f*** is

that supposed to mean?

Well, you are a desperate guy

that does desperate things.

Go to massage parlors,

go to strip clubs...

Massage parlors?

I don't think you can get that

from there, those places.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Happy endings.

- You can get that from a hand job? Syphilis?

- Absolutely.

- Really?

- Yeah, man.

You don't want that sh*t.

Sh*t.

Oh, Christ.

Who's that?

Who do you think, man?

- Jasmine?

- Yeah.

What the hell does she want?

Wants me to go pick up my sh*t.

B*tch.

She broke it off, man.

You're so much better

than that, dude.

I really liked her though, man.

Beautiful, smart...

I thought she was

a f***ing c*nt.

You think that about

every girl you meet.

No, she was a Grade-A b*tch.

She was an elitist.

Dude, you know you couldn't

lose an argument with her.

And she didn't love you.

You know how I know?

How?

She didn't remember

your birthday.

She didn't even know

what's coming up, dude.

She just walked away.

It's the little things

in the relationship.

Women always say that.

You know, if a guy

forgot a woman's birthday,

she'd go f***ing ape sh*t, dude.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

You know, I bet she remembers

the dead boyfriend's

birthday though.

I mean, they dated

for five years,

and then, all of a sudden,

he gets gunned down in broad

daylight for his f***ing car.

I mean, of course, she's going to

remember his f***ing birthday.

But that was three years ago.

I mean, people get over sh*t,

don't they?

- Well, I hope so.

- I would think so.

Dude, it was doomed

from the beginning, man.

He's a martyr, all right?

He's dead.

He can't f*** up.

Dead people never f*** up.

This is it, man.

All right.

Jesus Christ.

High society up in here.

Did you really think

Jasmine was an elitist?

Undoubtedly.

Ahh...

Don't move.

Got it?

Emma?

Ah, we got a nosy

neighbor over here, huh?

Are you all right?

Get in the van

and don't make me hurt you.

Oh, we got a baseball

player over here, huh?

Come on, motherf***er.

Come on.

Batter up.

Like that.

Get in the f***ing van.

The bigger they are,

the harder they fall.

I told you no shooting.

I should have gave you

an empty gun,

you f***ing child.

Yeah,

and then Babe Ruth back there

could have knocked my head

out of the f***ing park.

We got to get out

of here quickly.

No sh*t.

F*** man.

That b*tch is going

to call the cops.

She's getting the plates, man.

We got to kill her.

The plates are fake.

She's got the make of the van.

You can't leave witnesses.

It's unprofessional.

What the f*** are

you looking at?

Ahh.

The f***ing b*tch

tried to bite me.

Serves you right, a**hole.

Don't f***ing talk

to me like that.

You're supposed to have my back.

I'm going to f***ing kill you.

I told you, don't touch her.

I'm just easing the tension.

What the f*** did you do?

You knocked her out?

That or I killed her.

You better pray you didn't.

She's still breathing, man.

Her stomach is moving, relax.

I swear the f***, man,

you keep this up,

I'm going to have you drive

and then Shane can watch her.

F***, man.

Shane?

Well, he follows orders

unlike somebody that I know.

I hate that f***ing guy.

Did you bring the shotgun?

Yeah, it's in the back.

It's in the briefcase.

Don't give it to Shane.

I don't trust him...

I trust you with a weapon.

He's not wearing

his f***ing mask.

You're driving, bro.

Is that her?

No, it's some hooker we're all

going to want to train on later.

Of course, it's her.

Oh, she's giving me

a f***ing eyeball.

Oh, f*** she's awake.

And she just saw his face.

Congratulations, Shane.

You just f***ed up

the whole operation.

I'm sorry, Max.

I just got here.

That's my name!

That's my f***ing name!

I know that's your name.

That's why I said it.

What are you doing?

I'm sweating my ass off

in that thing.

Dude...

She saw his face.

She knows my name.

We're f***ed.

I guess it doesn't matter now.

I'm sorry, guys, Jesus!

I'm... I'm just here

to drive, you know?

You know, Jack and I,

we're brothers in arms.

We're... We were in

combat together.

You know, he needs

a favor, I oblige.

I don't know who this squirrel

dick in the back thinks he is.

He can't talk to me like that.

Did you just call me a

f***ing squirrel dick?

Max, cool it, dude.

Don't point a loaded gun

at somebody

unless you intend

to pull the trigger.

Huh.

You're f***ed up.

What did you do over

there in Afghanistan?

Did you ever drive a Humvee

through a f***ing minefield?

I've f***ing seen it, man.

I've seen it all.

I know you have, buddy.

Just calm down, alright?

I know you know.

Your f***ing friend here

needs an education

in dealing with the pressure.

I'm f***ing calm.

All right, Emma.

We don't want to hurt you.

We just want you to

calmly state that you're OK.

Oh...

Ah, sh*t.

Where are those damn onions?

Ahh!

Hey, dad.

It's me, Emma.

I know we haven't

talked in four years,

and believe me,

if I had it my way,

we wouldn't be

talking right now.

I've been kidnapped.

I know you're probably pissed.

I am, too, but I guess,

in your line of work,

sh*t happens, right?

Please just read from the paper.

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