Wayne's World Page #3

That's all the time

we have this week.

Until then, good night.

Party on, Wayne.

Wayne's World

Wayne's World

Party time

Excellent

[ Guitar Riff ]

And...we're clear.

O.K. Excellent show,

everyone.

[ Garth ]

Excellent.

Great show.

Wayne, Benjamin Kane.

Regional program director

for Oliver Communications.

Oh, hello.

I'm Russell Finley.

We spoke earlier today. Hi.

Maybe we can go somewhere

and get acquainted.

Russell,

get to know the crew.

You know anywhere nice?

Hi.

Hi.

Let me get this

out of the way--

I'm a big fan.

You are?

As I see it, your show's

capable of so much more.

We'll try harder, O.K.?

Give us a second chance.

Don't cancel us

without a second chance.

Garth, relax, all right?

Your pills?

He can't cancel us.

We're on public access.

Can I be honest?

My job, it's usually

such a bore,

but the other day something

incredible happened.

What happened?

Noah Vanderhoff,

owner of the largest

video arcade chain in Chicago,

is in my office

asking me what's with

this show Wayne's World

I hear so much about?

I have your shows on tape.

I said I'm a fan.

I put a show in.

He literally jumped

out of his seat.

- Cool.

- Cool.

He wants to sponsor

the show,

put you on our station,

and pay you

a huge salary.

He doesn't realize

you're both artists.

You're not interested

in money.

No, we're not

interested in money.

That's what I told him.

But he said take them

two cashier's checks anyway

so they know I'm serious.

I may be wasting my time,

but here I am

with the contract

and two cashier's checks

for $5,000 each.

Exsqueeze me?

Baking powder?

You're going to pay us

for doing Wayne's World?

Give me the word.

I'll tear up

these checks.

[ Chokes ]

No! No!

He shoots,

he scores!

Want to look

at the contracts?

Yes.

Do you have a lawyer?

Yes. Uh...no.

We're between

lawyers right now.

Our first lawyer

screwed our affairs so badly.

That's right. I walked

right into that office,

I grabbed him

by his big fat head,

and I said I'm not going to jail

for you or anybody.

Exactly.

Can I have an opportunity

to peruse that contract

before we sign it?

Hmm.

Yes.

Yes.

I like what

you've done here.

Ah. Hmm.

Yes.

Yes.

Um, I dropped my pen.

I'm not so sure about...

Oh, I see. I see.

Hi. Um, does this seem weird?

Why does this guy

have contracts?

Ever see

The Twilight Zone

where the guy

signed a contract,

they cut out his tongue,

put it in a jar,

and it wouldn't die?

It grew and pulsated

and gave birth to baby tongues.

Pretty cool, huh?

I got to go.

I like this part.

I feel we can work with you

on this project.

You've made Mr.Vanderhoff

a very happy man.

To Wayne's World.

- To Wayne's World.

- To Wayne's World.

We got $5,000

We got $5,000

We got $5,000

We got $5,000

- Hey, Wayne.

- Check it out.

We got $5,000

We got $5,000

Ain't got no reason

For reaction

Party!

Whoo!

Ain't got no reason

for distraction

Great party, huh, guys?

Love the way

that you love me, baby

Love the way

that you stare

Uh-oh. Stacy alert.

We're being pulled in

by her tractor beam.

I got to go.

We got to go.

Ooh, if you dare

Don't be afraid

to love me

Anywhere

Dream weaver

I believe you can get me

through the night

Don't be afraid

to love me

Anywhere

Won't you touch me

Won't you love me

Just let me know

God, she's amazing.

I'll be there

Wayne, Wayne, Garth told me

about the show, man.

I love you, man.

Yeah, and I love you,

too, Terry.

No, I mean it, man.

I love you.

No, I mean it.

I love you.

No, you don't, man.

Why don't you love me

Garth, come over here.

Terry has something

to say to you.

I love you, man.

Thank you.

Oh

I'll be there

Oh, I'll be there

Oh, I'll be there

Your vocals

are incredible.

Thanks.

You have a very

interesting look.

Aha.

Oh, I'm not trying

to pick up on you.

Good thing.

No, I'm producing

a television show.

It's in Chicago.

Very late night.

We're looking

for a musical act.

Here's my card.

Is there a number

I can reach you at?

We got fliers at the door.

Hello.

So hot and bothered

Hot and bothered

Wayne?

Hi, Wayne.

Hi.

Want to go somewhere

and talk?

Sure.

What's going on in there?

Just a minute.

We'd like to go

to the bathroom, please.

In this century.

How long

you been waiting?

Like an hour now.

Uh...

Hi, Garth.

Uh...

hi.

I'm looking for Wayne.

He seems to be going through

this difficult phase.

You know what I think?

That you're mental?

You know him best.

What should I do?

Get over it. Go out

with somebody else.

Get over it. Go out

with somebody else.

Yeah, thanks.

O.K., great.

Hi.

So who's

this guy Benjamin?

Only one of the most

important producers in television.

He's ahead of his time.

We've signed with him.

He's based in Chicago.

He's interested

in the band.

Of course.

I love your band.

You guys wail.

Thanks.

You guys kick ass.

You're Double Live Gonzo!

Intensity in Ten Cities.

Live at Budokan.

If you got a break,

you could make it.

And if a frog

had wings,

he wouldn't bump his ass

when he hopped.

Interesting.

Where did you

learn English?

College...

and the Police Academy movies.

Ah.

Cassandra...

I've got something

I want to say to you.

[ Speaking Cantonese ]

Campbell, that's amazing.

You learned to say

I look pretty in Cantonese.

Hi, Wayne.

Hello, Stacy.

Sit right here.

[ Stacy ] Kiss me.

You make me laugh.

Can I call you?

Anytime.

Look out!

- Aah!

- Aah!

Oops.

[ Whistling The Theme

To Star Trek ]

Sometimes I wish

I could boldly go

where no man's

gone before,

but I'll probably

stay in Aurora.

What are you

thinking about?

Cassandra.

She's a fox.

In French,

she'd be called la renard.

She'd be hunted with only

her cunning to protect her.

She's a babe.

She's a robo-babe.

In Latin, she'd be called

babia majora.

If she were

a president,

she'd be

Babe-raham Lincoln.

Did you ever find

Bugs Bunny attractive

when he'd put on a dress

and play a girl bunny?

No.

No.

Neither did I.

I was just asking.

O.K., O.K.,

keep looking up.

O.K.

- Aah!

- Aah!

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Guys, I will be talking

to the cameraman

on the headset.

Terry will give you

hand cues.

Excuse me, Russell,

but I believe

I requested the hand job.

Let's go on.

The cue is--

watch carefully--

5...4...3...

You didn't say 2 or 1.

You don't say 2 or 1.

Why not?

You just don't, O.K.?

Now, it goes...

5...4...3...

Good. O.K., good.

- Ow!

- Ow!

We're ready

for rehearsal,

unless there are

any questions.

Yeah, um...does this

seem weird to anybody else?

I mean, we're looking down

on Wayne's basement,

only that's not

Wayne's basement.

Isn't that weird?

That's twisted.

That's weird, man,

that's weird.

Garth, that was a haiku.

[ Telephone Rings ]

- Russell.

- Control room.

Oh, hello, Benjamin.

Just finishing up

with the Vanderhoffs.

They'd like to look

at rehearsal

and make sure we're

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