Wayne's World Page #4

not wasting their money.

Not a good idea, sir.

Great.

Come in.

Your landing gear is down.

Just put that down.

Ow.

Just go away, guys.

Hey, hey, hey!

Russell's excited

you're coming to the studio.

Oh, the studio.

That's where

the magic happens.

You've worked

in television?

No, I watch a lot.

Of course you do.

You're creative.

She came up with the name

Noah's Arcade.

I just opened my mouth

and out it came.

You're a lucky man,

Mr.Vanderhoff.

Bring in the blue screen.

Let's try one.

Ready to cue

Wayne and Garth, and go.

O.K.

In 5...4...3...

Good, Terry.

Wayne, Garth,

don't count along.

We see your mouths moving.

Again.

In 5...4...3...

Guys?

You're nodding.

Once again, Terry.

In 5...4...3...2...

Welcome to Wayne's World.

Party on, Garth.

Party on, Wayne.

We got a new feature

on Wayne's World

which allows us to travel

through time and space.

It's called chromakey,

and it's really handy

if you want

to go to...New York.

We're in New York!

I got a gun. Let's go

to a Broadway show.

I guess kids get this?

Oh, they love it.

Or maybe you prefer Hawaii.

Muka laka hickey.

Come on, you wanna lay me.

Pass the poi. Mahalo.

Or say you want

to go to Texas.

Howdy, partners.

Let's raise and rope broncos.

Let's go down

to the floor.

Howdy, y'all.

Or imagine being magically

whisked away to...

Delaware.

Hi.

I'm in Delaware.

Noah and Mimi Vanderhoff,

say hello to Wayne Campbell

and Garth Algar.

Pleasure to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Garth, how do you like

being in a real studio?

It's like a new

pair of underwear.

At first

it's constrictive,

but after a while,

it becomes a part of you.

I got to go.

O.K.

No, no, no. Please.

Wayne, I used to be

in meat packing.

Lips and hooves.

One day, I had

a four-hour layover in Tulsa.

These kids in the airport

kept pumping quarters

into a game called Pong.

They must've gone

through 50 bucks.

I sat there watching

and said, "Hell, I'm in

the wrong business."

15 years later,

I'm a millionaire.

It's so huge.

Thanks.

Do I frighten you?

No.

Do you want me to?

Noah, I love you

on that couch.

You think?

Noah does

all his own commercials.

Yeah, I got a new one

where I rap.

Come bust a move

where the games are played

It's chill,

it's fresh

It's Noah's Arcade

What do you think of that?

I'd have to say...

ass sphincter says what?

What?

A sphincter says what?

What?

Exactly.

We've got a lunch.

That's what I think of it.

It's been a pleasure.

May I say I've had

a thrilling day.

You may.

Shall we?

And may I say

your wife's a babe.

Thank you.

We have a table.

[ Woof Woof ]

What is it, girl?

[ Woof ]

Aliens have

kidnapped Wayne?

[ Woof ]

Oh, I misunderstood.

Wayne's outside.

Thanks, girl.

O.K.

Game on.

Game on.

Game on.

He shoots, he scores!

1 for 1.

Crowd is going wild!

[ Honk Honk ]

- Car.

- Car.

Game on.

Game on.

O.K., let's go.

Worsley cuts down the angle.

Gretzky shoots!

Oh, Gretzky is denied!

Choked on the open net.

Wayne?

Yeah?

Do you feel Benjamin's

not one of us?

Good call.

It's as if Benjamin

wants us to be liked

by everyone.

Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes

that everyone liked.

They left that

to the Bee Gees.

[ Honk Honk ]

- Car.

- Car.

Game on.

Game on.

Uh-oh. Incoming.

Stacy, 10:
00.

Hi, Wayne.

Hi.

Hey, are you all right?

Oops.

[ Wayne ]

And she's O.K.

Game on.

Yeah, game on.

[ Electric Motor Whines ]

You know, Garth,

you and I have

never really talked.

O.K.

You know, I love

what you do on the show.

I look at you,

and I just laugh and laugh.

Uh-huh.

Let me run this by you

because you're a sharp guy.

I'm thinking about

giving Vanderhoff

a weekly interview

on the show.

How would you feel

about making a change?

We fear change.

[ Electric Motor Starts ]

[ Motor Slows Down

And Stops ]

Cassandra,

I have to say it--

You look excellent.

Thanks. I've been so busy

lately with my band,

I thought I was

getting meningitis.

I thought I had mono

for an entire year.

It turned out I was

just really bored.

You're so fine

You're so fine,

you blow my mind

Excuse me?

I'm sorry. It's the last song

I heard this morning.

I hate when that happens.

Hey, Mickey,

you're so fine

You're so fine,

you blow my mind

Hey, Mickey

Hey, Mickey

Hey, Mickey,

you're so fine

You're so fine,

you blow my mind

Hey, Mickey

I think I'm going

to put on some tunes.

Hey, when did you

get the CD player?

When we got the money.

So big boy said

you are bad news

We're tired of mama

bein' confused

It's plain to see

we rock 'n' roll

If you don't like it,

got to move

There it is--

Excalibur.

Wow. '64 Fender Stratocaster

in classic white

with triple single coil pickups

and a whammy bar.

Pre-CBS Fender

corporate buy-out.

I'd raise the bridge,

file down the nut,

and take the buzz

out of the low "E."

God, I love this woman.

[ Chimes Clang ]

Hi, Garth.

Where's the clerk?

I know. I'll use

the "May I help you" riff.

[ Heavy Metal Riff ]

May I help you?

Yes, my good man.

I'd like to look at this

Fender Stratocaster, please.

Oh, really? Again?

Yes.

Careful.

No Stairway.

Denied!

Wow.

You're...amazing, dude.

Thanks.

I like to play.

[ Ting ]

Excuse me. Wayne.

Can I put the Fender

back now, please?

Not today, my good man.

I'm feeling saucy.

I think I'm going to buy it.

Do you accept... cash?

Cha-ching.

Have you spoken to Wayne

about the Vanderhoff spot?

Yes. Briefly.

He was not very receptive.

Oh, really? Well, I'll explain

to him that it's not a choice,

that it's in his contract.

Oh. Well, Wayne

will understand that right away.

Not.

Excuse me.

I mean, there's two

Darrin Stevens, right?

Dick York, Dick Sargent.

Yeah, right, as if

we wouldn't notice.

Well, hold on.

Dick York. Dick Sargent.

Sergeant York.

Wow, that's weird.

Wayne.

Listen, we need to have

a talk about Vanderhoff.

The fact is,

he's the sponsor

and you signed a contract

guaranteeing him

certain concessions, one of them

being a spot on the show.

That's where I see things

just a little differently.

Contract or no, I will

not bow to any sponsor.

I'm sorry

you feel that way,

but basically,

it's the nature of the beast.

Maybe I'm wrong

on this one,

but for me, the beast

doesn't include selling out.

Garth, you know what

I'm talking about, right?

It's, like, people only do things

because they get paid,

and that's

just really sad.

I can't talk about it anymore.

It's giving me a headache.

Here. Take two of these.

Ah. Nuprin.

Little. Yellow.

Different.

You can stay here

in the big leagues

and play by the rules

or go back to

the farm club in Aurora.

It's your choice.

Yes. And it's the choice

of a new generation.

[ Imitating Paul McCartney ]

And her name was Cassandra

Yeah.

Anything wrong, Davey?

Yeah. I got paid today.

Oh, yeah, I know

what that's like.

No. You don't understand.

They laid me off.

I got one of these.

I know how that feels.

Rate this script:3.5 / 2 votes