Wayne's World Page #6

Whoa! Look!

Is this Alice's limo?

No. It belongs

to Frank Sharp,

head of Sharp Records.

Good friend of Alice's.

Wow. That's, like, way bigger

than a normal size car.

Well, it has to be.

He drives everywhere.

Hates to fly.

He's going across

the country right now

to look for new acts

to sign to his label.

Next stop is St. Louis.

Then he'll come back through Chicago

on his way to Detroit.

Thanks.

You know,

for a security guard,

he had an awful lot of information,

don't you think?

[ Cheering ]

[ Cooper ]

Thank you, Milwaukee!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies.

Sorry, ladies.

I'm sorry. No--

Oh, you got pass--

all right. Come on.

Let us through,

please!

Can't let you in.

Sorry.

Please? Aw...

Alice. Is this cool?

Yeah. Come on in.

Sorry to bother you,

but we had to tell you

how much we enjoyed the show,

didn't we, Garth?

Y-Y-Y...

Oh. Thanks.

We're not mental or anything,

so don't be afraid.

We're not mental or anything,

so don't be afraid.

My name is Wayne,

and this is Garth.

Ehhh...

Nice to meet you guys.

So do you...

come to Milwaukee often?

Well, I'm a regular visitor here,

but Milwaukee has certainly

had its share of visitors.

The French missionaries

and explorers

were coming here as early

as the late 1600s

to trade with

the Native Americans.

Isn't Milwaukee an Indian name?

Yes, Pete, it is.

Actually,

it's pronounced meeleewahkay,

which is Algonquin

for the good land.

I was not aware of that.

One of the most

interesting aspects of Milwaukee

is the fact that it's

the only major American city

to have ever elected

three socialist mayors.

Does this guy

know how to party or what?

Huh? Huh?

Oh.

O.K. Well, we got

to get going.

No. Stick around.

Hang out with us.

Cool. Yeah, we'll stay and

hang around with youse...

with Alice Cooper.

We're not worthy!

We're not worthy!

We're not worthy!

We're scum!

We suck!

Our first big show.

We almost didn't make it.

I really hope

Cassandra's watching.

Oh, yeah, perfect.

Whatever it costs--

- How's it going?

- Hi, guys.

Well, tonight's the night.

A lot of people

in the Chicagoland area

will be watching the show.

I already know

it's going to be a hit.

I'll be in the booth.

Mr.Vanderhoff

will be your first guest.

Oh, hi, boys.

What the hell is this?

Can we fly in

the sign, please?

That's it.

Bring her down.

- Wha--

- Oh...look.

Don't tense up.

You'll be great.

Garth, have you

got a second?

Uh...Wh...

Simply read the cards.

You're going to be

wonderful. Really.

O.K.?

Oh, Russell...

can I borrow

your marker?

I, uh...I need

to make some notes.

Good luck.

My guys.

You're my guys!

Your name

is pronounced Algar, right?

O.K.

Wayne!

They'll be fine.

Good.

- Stand by...

- This is it, honey.

In 5...

4...

3...

Wayne's World is brought to you

by Noah's Arcade.

Party on, Wayne.

Hey!

Wayne's World

Wayne's World

Party time

Excellent

It's Friday. It's 11:30.

It's time to party

with your excellent host

Wayne Campbell,

and with him, as always,

is Garth.

Party on, Wayne,

and party on, Garth.

Wayne's World

O.K. Welcome

to Wayne's World.

Party on, Garth.

I guess.

O.K. O.K.,

first of all,

we'd like to take a moment here

on Wayne's World

to welcome our sponsor.

He's the owner of a fine chain

of Noah's Arcades--

Noah Vanderhoff.

Nice name...

not.

Now, uh,

Mr.Vanderhoff...

He's using

the cards. Yes!

I told you

he'd fall in line.

What is your most

popular video game right now?

Uh, Desert Storm

Commando Warrior.

- Ha ha ha.

- Ha ha ha.

That would have to do with that

limited skirmish in the Middle East.

Yes.

What the hell's he doing?

[ Wayne ] Aren't there long lines

for your more popular games?

Well, at Noah's Arcade,

we like to say

there's two of everything,

so there's never a line.

Ha ha.

O.K. Now, tell me, Noah,

I've always wanted to know--

What is the difference

between Pac-Man

and Ms.Pac-Man, really?

Well, she has a bow on her head.

That's it?

- Ha ha!

- Ha ha!

Get right

out of town.

No, that's it.

Heh heh.

- Ha ha ha!

- Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Thank you for being

on Wayne's World.

It was informative

and stimulating.

Now a word from our sponsor.

We're at commercial.

Oh, that was fun.

I'll see you next week.

I hope.

Wayne, could you

come to the booth, please?

Oh, honey,

you were incredible.

I think it went

really well.

Absolutely. There was a huge

response up in that little room.

Those phrases were not on the cards

when I gave them to him.

Wayne. What the hell

is going on?

What are you doing?

Same thing we always do.

You've publicly

humiliated the sponsor.

Yeah.

You're fired.

Fired? For that?

Yeah. Right.

I'm out of here,

and I'm taking

my show with me.

We own the show.

Aw, bite me.

O.K.

Are we back?

Stand by.

Coming back?

And go.

5...

4...

3...

I'm having

a good time...

not.

Ever see that scene in Scanners

when that dude's head blew up?

Uh...

Uh...

Uh...

[ Telephone Rings ]

Hello.

Hello.

It's Benjamin.

Oh, hi.

Uh, listen,

did you see the show tonight?

I was working,

so I only saw the first part,

but I laughed my ass off.

We had some

technical difficulties,

and we're still playing

with the format, but...

has Wayne talked to you?

About what?

Why? Are you

canceling my video?

No. In fact, I called

to make sure we're still on.

Well, we got

a deal, right?

Absolutely.

I'll see you in Chicago.

O.K.

Bye.

You really

pissed me off tonight.

Garth, you've never been mad

at anything in your life.

But you shouldn't

have walked out on the show.

I handled it O.K.,

but you shouldn't

walk out on your friend

without telling him first.

I have to run everything

by you now?

Yeah, you have to

run everything by me now.

What am I,

some sort of chimp

with you as always

is Garth?

Jim to your

Marlin Perkins?

You know, Benjamin

had you so snowed.

You know what?

He's got it for Cassandra.

No way.

Way.

Yeah! Cassandra's

not interested.

As if.

O.K., pop quiz--

Cassandra is not interested

in Benjamin because:

A) chicks think

he's handsome;

B) has cool car;,

C) has lots of cash;

D ) has no visible scars;

E) does not live with parents.

O.K., how about--

F) you're a gimp.

You know what you can do

with your pop quiz?

You know what you can do

with your show?

You can take a flying...

[ Jet Engine Roars ]

Until the handle

breaks off

and you have

to find a doctor

to pull it out again.

Kiss your mother

with that mouth?

You've gone mental.

I'm getting out

of here, Damien.

- Fine, then. Go.

- I'm gone.

Go, then.

- I am.

- Go.

- I'm gone.

- Go, then.

I am.

Where you been?

I waited up for you last night,

and you never showed.

Where are you going?

Chicago. Benjamin set up

the video shoot.

I'll be there

for three days.

I guess Benjamin

will be there, too.

He's producing it.

And what does that mean?

He's been paying you

a lot of attention lately.

Well, maybe he thinks

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