Wayne's World Page #7

I've got some talent.

Maybe he's pokin' ya.

What?

You think that's

the way I get a gig?

First he screws me,

then he screws you.

It's Dutch door action.

Could you be

any more insulting?

Yeah.

I think

you better leave.

Fine. I'm out of here.

Oh, man.

What the hell's going on?

I lost my show,

I lost my best friend,

I lost my girl.

I'm being sh*t on,

that's all--sh*t on.

And do you know

what really pisses me off?

Where are you going?

O.K., O.K.,

come on back.

Things aren't as bad

as they seem.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean

to dump on you.

I'll figure something out.

O.K.?

Hey, Mr.Doughnuthead man,

who's trying to kill you?

I don't know,

but they better not.

If you stab a man

in the dead of winter,

steam will rise up

from the wounds.

That's not good!

I'm not happy!

Oh, no!

Indians believed

it was his soul

escaping from his body.

Right, Glen.

Reee! Reee! Reee! Reee!

Reee! Reee! Reee! Reee!

Reee! Reee! Reee!

Reee! Reee! Reee!

Hi.

Hi.

I'm sorry

about what I did...

Buds?

Buds.

Officer Kuharski.

Damn shame

how they screwed up your show.

It was a nice little program.

Not that I ever watched it.

Here you go.

So, uh,

how you doing?

'K., s'pose.

Just wish

I had Cassandra back.

She's in Chicago shooting a video

with "Bun-ja-mun."

So, uh...

[ Slurping ]

What are you

going to do?

I don't know.

I do have one plan.

What are you going to do

with these guys?

Oh, nothing, really.

I just always wanted

to open a door to a room

where people

are being trained

like in James Bond movies.

Wicked.

I think you should

just go get Cassandra.

I just don't think

she wants me to.

Let me tell you

a little something

I've learned about women.

They want you

to come get them.

They love it.

I just wish there was

something I could offer her

that Benjamin couldn't.

You'll think of something.

Wait a minute.

No.

Wait a minute.

Hmm.

Wait a minute!

I know--

The guy in the limo,

Mr.Big,

the owner of Sharp records.

If we could just get him

to listen to Cassandra play.

Halt. Halt.

The security guard

at the concert said

Mr.Sharp was driving

back through Chicago on Friday.

That's right. Wow.

Aren't we lucky

we were there

to get all

that information?

It seemed extraneous

at the time.

O.K., first I'll access

the secret military spy satellite

that's in a geosynchronous orbit

over the Midwest.

Then I'll I.D. the limo

by the vanity plate "Mr.Biggg"

and get its position.

Then I'll reposition the

transmitter dish in the remote truck

to 17.32 degrees east,

hit Westar 4

over the Atlantic,

bounce the signal

down into the Azores,

up to Comsat 6,

beam it back

to Satcom 3 transponder 137,

and down to the dish

on Mr.Big's limo.

It's almost too easy.

We can only pray

he's watching television

in his limo

at that exact moment.

We'll need help.

- We'll help.

- We'll help.

You get Cassandra!

We'll do the rest!

To the Mirthmobile!

Yeah!

- Whoo!

- Whoo!

[ Honking ]

O.K., this is a take,

everybody.

I think the snake

fell asleep!

Uh...

Playback!

[ Music Plays ]

Looking good.

Ain't got no reason

for reaction

No

Ain't got no reason

for distraction

I love the way

that you love me, baby

Love the way

that you stare

Ooh, the way

that you tease me, baby

Ooh, touch me

Yeah

Touch me

This snake

weighs a ton.

It looks great on you.

I'm coming down now.

I'm telling you,

you're hot.

[ Heavy Metal Music Plays

On Radio ]

[ Radio Stops Playing ]

Yes, Officer?

Is there something wrong?

Have you seen this boy?

Aah!

Aah!

You know,

you're exactly right.

Why leave the hotel?

We'll have dinner sent up,

you can have

a hot bath,

and I'll make

some calls.

Cassandra!

We have to talk.

I don't want

to talk to you.

I don't want

to talk to you.

I've set up an audition

for your band.

My show's coming back.

You've got to be on it.

Go home.

I'm not going anywhere.

Cassandra, I love you.

You may not believe it,

but I love you.

Am I supposed to just

turn my back and leave?

Am I supposed

to be a man?

Am I supposed to say,

"That's O.K.

I don't mind."

I don't mind.

Well, I mind!

I mind big time!

And you know what

the worst part of all is?

I never learned to read.

Is that true?

Yes. Everything except

the reading part.

Very nice speech, Wayne.

We're very busy.

Of course.

Her music video.

Very clever.

But where is her band?

- Hi, Wayne.

- Hi, Wayne.

Oh, hi, guys.

I didn't see you there.

Well, I guess you've thought

of everything, huh?

Nothing left for me to do

but just go home.

Bye-bye, Wayne.

It's bedtime.

But both you and I know

that there is no film

in this camera.

Jimmy!

Wayne...

go home.

Sometimes people

outgrow one another.

It's very sad,

but you can't

let it drag you down.

Is that you...

or the snake?

Campbell, wait up!

Cassandra, I know

I don't have his looks,

I know I don't

have his money,

I know I don't

have his connections,

his knowledge

of fine wines,

I know sometimes

when I eat

I get this clicking sound

in my jaw--

Shut your yap

and get in the car.

Excellent.

[ Woof ]

That's right, girl.

Mr.Big's limousine

is right where we want it.

[ Theme From

Mission:
Impossible Plays ]

Gentlemen, this is it.

Let's go.

Down now!

[ Panting ]

Wait up, guys.

I fell on my keys.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Freeze!

Oh, hi, Russell.

How's it going?

Hold it right there.

Hey! Hey!

Watch where

you're pointing that thing.

Give me the flashlight,

Russell.

You can help us,

Russell.

No! I'm supposed

to stop you.

W-w-what are you

going to do,

be Benjamin's monkey boy

the rest of your life?

Benjamin's my friend.

No.

Benjamin is

no one's friend.

If Benjamin were

an ice cream flavor,

he'd be

pralines and dick.

It's O.K.

He's going to be...

O.K.

Hi.

- Hi.

- How's it going?

I love you, man.

I know.

No, you don't.

I...love you, man.

I know.

Just say thank you.

Hey!

Thank you.

All right.

I understand

you're doing your job,

but I'm very late.

Would you mind placing

your hands on the hood, son?

There's just one other thing

I've got to check.

Wayne's World,

Wayne's World

Party time

Excellent

[ Guitar Riff ]

O.K, this is a special

Wayne's World, O.K.?

It's for

an audience of one.

So, Mr. Frankie Sharp

of Sharp Records,

if you're watching

and you like what you see,

we're at 2234 Pine Way

in Aurora, Illinois.

So, ladies and gentlemen,

I give you Cassandra

and Crucial Taunt!

Yeah! Whoo!

Well, it's been gettin'

so hard

Livin' with the things

you do to me

My dreams are gettin'

so strange

I'd like to tell you

everythin' I see

I see a man at the back,

as a matter of fact,

his eyes are as red

as the sun,

and a girl in the corner

let no one ignore her,

'cause she thinks

she's the passionate one.

Oh, yeah!

It was like lightning

Everybody was

frightening

And the music

was soothing

And we all started

grooving

Yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And the man at the back said,

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