Wayne's World 2 Page #2

No, we just make sure there's plenty

stacked. Just like the chickens.

- What do they do?

- They walk past with this glass.

That's... weird.

You got to wonder

if this is gonna pay off later on.

- Cool.

- It's OK.

We ought to overdub a track

with Bobby. He can wail.

Give them a few minutes.

They're working on it.

The label figures

you got three singles on this one.

- They want you to come to the coast.

- Excellent.

Not bad for a little girl

from Hong Kong.

- What brings you here, Wayne?

- I had to tell Cassandra something.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Last night I had a dream. We're gonna

put on a concert in Aurora.

- That's a great idea.

- Yeah. It's a festival.

- A festival?

- A festival. You heard the man.

- Charming. What's it called?

- What's it called? It's called...

It's called...

- It's called Waynestock.

- Waynestock.

Who's going to be there?

- Aerosmith and Pearl Jam.

- Who else?

Me and Wayne.

- And...

- And...

- Van Halen.

- Van Halen. Who else?

Yeah. Who else?

An old man fashioning a kayak

out of a log...?

- What?

- No! Rip Taylor!

Rip Taylor's gonna be there.

Rip Taylor? He's a God in my country.

He gets mobbed in the street.

Great, 'cause he's gonna be there.

I thought maybe you could play, too.

- I would be honoured.

- I wouldn't commit just yet.

You got some real gigs coming up.

Real gigs!

Real gigs?

Lx-nay on the condescension-ay

there, Chet.

- Bobby, can I ask you a question?

- What is it, Garth?

A sphincter says what?

I said, a sphincter says what?

You want me to say "what",

like I don't get it. Is that it?

Is that it?

Oh, dear. Last guy didn't get.

You big. You big.

We small. We better go.

- Where are you going?

- England!

I can't believe Paramount is paying

to fly us to England.

I thought they'd use doubles.

- Here we are at Piccadilly Circus.

- What a shitty circus.

Good call. There's no animals

or clowns.

What a rip-off.

Let's go to Buckingham Palace.

Does Princess Di still live here?

She is such a babe.

Did Jim Morrison give you

Del Preston's exact address?

- He said exactly london, England.

- OK.

I don't know about this, Wayne.

- Del?

- Hello?

- Are you Del Preston?

- I might be. Who are you?

- My name's Wayne Campbell.

- I'm Garth Algar.

That's terribly fascinating, man,

but you woke me up.

How can you sleep like that?

Listen, Sonny Jim, sleeping like this

will add 10 years to your life.

I learned it from Keith Richards

when I toured with the Stones.

That may be why Keith cannot be

killed by conventional weapons.

- How can I be of assistance?

- You're gonna think I'm nuts, but...

...someone visited me in a dream

and told me that Del Preston

would help me put on a concert

in Aurora, Illinois.

A concert?

I'm afraid you've been misinformed.

I don't do that any more.

I'm just an old geezer.

What do I know about music today?

When I was working,

it was all bands like Eric Clapton

and the Rolling Stones.

It's not like the Grateful Dead

are still touring, is it?

- Actually...

- Garth.

Look at this scrapbook.

- That's you with led Zeppelin.

- Yeah.

My old lady put that together.

We must've toured every concert hall

and venue in America,

me, my old lady and the road.

- Is that you and Bob Dylan?

- Yeah.

- Who's the old lady?

- That's my old lady.

It was fun,

but those days are gone forever.

But we came from America

just to talk to you.

I'm sorry.

I don't do concerts any more.

Come on. Let's go.

Well, I still think you led

a really cool life.

- It was nice meeting you.

- I guess Jim was wrong.

Hang about.

Was it Jim Morrison?

- Yes!

- Did he have a naked Indian?

- Yes!

- I have to ask you...

Didn't you think

it was a trifle unnecessary

to see the crack

in the Indian's bottom?

- Yes! Absolutely!

- I had the same dream.

- Del, you'll really love Aurora.

- Who's Aurora, anyway?

Frank, this is Bobby.

Did you get the tape?

What'd you think?

Definitely. She sounds great.

Yeah, the band is terrible.

It's a garage band.

They can't, I'm sure.

I'm working with them.

I'm still in this studio in Aurora.

What the hell you doing there?

- She wants to stay here.

- Why?

Same reason they all want to stay,

she's got a boyfriend.

Don't worry. I'll get rid

of the boyfriend and the band.

I'd like to finish the album in IA.

All right, Bobby.

Let's just get it done, OK?

And there I am in Sri lanka,

formerly Ceylon, at 3am,

looking for 1,000 brown M&Ms

to fill a brandy glass,

or Ozzy

wouldn't go on stage that night.

Jeff Beck pops his head

round the door

and mentions there's a little

sweet shop on the edge of town.

We go, and it's closed.

There's me and Keith Moon

and David Crosby

breaking into this

little sweet shop, right?

Instead of a guard dog, they've got

this bloody great big Bengal tiger.

I managed to take out the tiger

with a can of mace,

but the shop owner and his son,

that's a different story altogether.

I had to beat them to death

with their own shoes.

Nasty business, really,

but sure enough, I got the M&Ms,

and Ozzy went on stage

and did a great show.

That was excellent.

To put on a really great rock show,

like Knebworth in England

or Woodstock,

there is only one place

you can do it, and that's here,

at Adlai Stevenson Memorial Park,

in the playing fields.

We better go check it out.

So, Wayne...?

I hear you're putting on

some kind of concert.

That's good. People need to be

entertained, need the distraction.

I wish somebody'd do something

to block out the voices in my head,

the voices that scream over and over,

"Why do they come to me to die?

Why do they come to me to die?"

- What do we do now?

- Here. Let me look at it.

Get the flashlight.

OK. There's the main gate,

and here we are.

- No, we're over here.

- I don't think so.

We turned left at the gate,

so that would put us...

Garth! Wait a minute.

I know where we are.

I'm pretty good with maps.

- Listen.

- What?

- Turn it off!

- I can't turn it off! I can't turn it off!

Waynestock? You'd purposely invite

rock 'n' roll into our community?

What's wrong

with a little entertainment?

Entertainment is fine, but this...

We have lots of big acts

that come through here.

- Ice Capades, Tiny Toons, Kenny G...

- Kenny G?

We don't even get

to apply for a permit?

We would love to put on

a rock concert... not!

Betty Jo, could we have the permits

for a festival, please?

Thank you. You must fill out

the necessary permit applications.

Permit applications.

- Here you go.

- Thank you, Betty Jo.

Hey, you're the guy

that's on that Wayne World show.

- Betty Jo?

- Yeah?

Thank you.

All right. Naturally, you'll need

the application for authorisation,

approval from the guilds and unions,

you'll need some release forms,

the decibel level... What?

Is something wrong?

- What do you mean?

- It's my eye, isn't it?

Why would we want to look

at your eye?

Is there something wrong

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