Wayne's World 2 Page #3

with that weird eye?

There's nothing wrong with my eye.

This one just has no pigment.

I'm what you call a partial ocular

albino, but I'm fine with it.

I have perfect 20-20 vision

with both eyes.

You're serious about

putting on a rock concert?

Are you kidding?

I'd give my right eye.

You realise there are certain

jurisdictions you'll need to follow.

I'd like to think I have

an eye for details.

I'm assuming you have the $5,000

occupancy permit...

...or you wouldn't be here.

- Exsqueeze me?

Baking powder?

$5,000 occupancy permit?

Yes, we have that, actually.

Piece of cake.

Fine. Then all applications

must be filled out in triplicate

and returned at least 10 working days

before the event, with the money.

We'll run through these

with a fine-toothed comb,

cross the Ts and dot the...

...lower-case Js.

I keep falling over. Oh, no.

I'm falling over a lot.

Damn these high heels.

Cassandra...?

- Why do you go out with me?

- I love being with you.

Most guys are jerks.

You're a good person.

Wait. Let me show you

what I got at a garage sale.

- Isn't that great? Heard of it?

- Exsqueeze me?

Have I ever seen this before?

Everybody has Frampton Comes Alive.

If you lived in the suburbs,

you were issued it.

It came in the mail

with samples of Tide.

Look at this old one.

Gerry and the Pacemakers.

That is old. I bet those guys

actually have pacemakers by now.

Can you believe they don't make vinyl

anymore? It's weird, isn't it?

- That is weird.

- Bobby said my album won't be vinyl.

Bobby says...

Are you and Bobby having an affair?

No, of course not.

Where did you hear that?

You know how these things start...

one guy tells another guy something,

then he tells two friends,

and they tell two friends,

and they tell their friends,

and so on, and so on...

- You know how it goes.

- Honestly, I'm not having an affair.

I'm nice to him

because he's my producer.

If this deal falls through, I lose

my visa and I go back to Hong Kong.

You have nothing to worry about.

My dad's coming to visit.

I'd love you to meet him.

Treat. I'm sure he'll just love me.

Yeah. If you're anything

like my old boyfriend.

- I'm nothing like him.

- Then we're screwed.

I haven't seen Garth in a while.

What's he up to?

Garth's doing his laundry.

Too bad he doesn't

have a girlfriend to do his laundry.

Yeah. Thanks for doing my laundry.

How do you get my clothes so white

and fresh-smelling?

It's an old Cantonese method

few people know about.

Wait a minute.

Calgon? Ancient Chinese secret?

Hello.

Hi.

- I don't recall ever seeing you in here.

- It's my first time in here.

That's right. My mom used

to do all my laundry, but I do now.

I'm what you call "sans parents".

I can go to a movie

on a school night, like that.

Welcome to the neighbourhood.

Would you like

some red rope liquorice?

Sure.

- What's your name?

- Garth Algar. What's yours?

- I'm Honey... Horne.

- Nice to meet you, Miss Horny.

That's Horne. It's French.

OK, Miss Horne.

Garth, would you like

to have dinner some night?

I like to have dinner every night.

No, I mean us. You and me.

Would you like to have dinner?

A date?

Finally. It took, like, two hours.

I like 'em teeny and toasty.

So long.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Maybe we'll see each other around.

- Yeah. See you around.

You forgot these.

Good night, Cassandra. Good work.

- Thanks. See you tomorrow.

- Good night.

I have got to get you to IA.

You are buried here.

I like it here.

All my friends are here.

- What time is it?

- 10:
35.

Damn. I missed the start

of Wayne's show.

OK. We're in a doll factory, right?

It reminds me

of that movie The Leprechaun,

with that little guy that goes,

"I'm the leprechaun."

- Garth, I'm the leprechaun!

- Cool it, OK?

- I'm the leprechaun!

- Stop it, all right?

Don't try and steal me pot o' gold.

- Why do you like these guys?

- Because they're fun.

If I wanted a guy

that was all ambition,

I could've stayed in Hong Kong.

Those guys are 12 for 10 cents.

- You mean a dime a dozen.

- Maybe where you shop.

I think you underestimate them.

They're really sharp.

- Stop it, leprechaun man!

- Garth, chill!

What did those monsters do to you?

- I'm not...

- Sweetie. Sweetie.

Come on, sweetie.

Come on. Pixie dust. Pixie dust.

Sweetie, it's me...

- The leprechaun!

- No!

I'm the leprechaun.

Yeah. These guys, really sharp.

I'm scared! Want to leave, but can't.

- Want to move.

- Where you gonna move?

- You gonna move to Ireland?

- No!

'Cause I'm a leprechaun...

Wayne, we're here!

Here. Let me get the gate for you.

All righty. Come on in.

Nice digs, huh?

Cassandra, you look hot.

Sorry.

I'd like you to meet

my father, Mr Wong.

Please meet you acquaintance,

Wayne Campbell.

Very well, if that is your custom.

Prepare to die.

I know all seven animal styles

The crane. The stag.

The horse. The tiger.

The bat. The rat. The monkey.

The beetle.

I will take you, old man.

Your tongue is quick. But your sword?

- Oh, no.

- Wayne!

Hello? Can we talk later?

This is not a good time.

Just a moment.

I've got call-waiting.

Hello. Yes?

Can I call you back?

I am on the other line.

Yes, he received

a Sports Illustrated football phone.

Wayne, no!

You've impressed me.

You're worthy of my daughter.

We got a party tomorrow

at Komrades.

It's kind of a fundraiser

for Waynestock.

Right. There'll be a $ 10

cover charge. It'll be a big party.

Because it's at Komrades,

we're calling it a Communist party.

I remember one time

I was in a place like this.

Sri lanka. Formerly Ceylon.

It was about three in the morning.

I was looking for 1,000 brown M&Ms

to fill a brandy glass,

or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage

that night.

Jeff Beck pops his head

round the door

and mentions there's a little

sweet shop on the edge of town.

- Wayne! Garth!

- Milton! How's it going?

Awesome party!

Good tunes, good brew, good buddies.

I feel great, man. I feel great!

I don't know, man.

I hate my father. I hate my life.

But I feel great. You guys are great.

I'm gonna go pick a fight.

He's gotten a lot better.

- Way better.

- Yeah.

- Thank you.

- I'll be back in a bit.

- How's it going?

- Hi.

It's looking good, Campbell.

- I'll be at the bar.

- Good.

I'm so glad you made it.

You look amazing!

I see. Wait. I have great news.

Bobby's taking me to IA

to do the final mix on my album.

- Isn't that terrific?

- That's great. I'm ecstatic.

I'm beside myself with joy.

Hooray for Hollywood.

Living on your own has its perks.

Your mom doesn't tell you

to turn down the stereo.

That's a real drag.

Because moms genetically hate music

played at the appropriate level.

And my dad, forget it.

He'd ruin a led Zeppelin

reunion concert.

He hates music at the correct level.

But the shopkeeper and his son

was a different story altogether.

I had to beat them to death

with their own shoes.

- What's the deal with Bobby?

- Wayne?

It's getting a little out of hand.

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