Wayne's World 2 Page #4

I think you better say something.

Good call.

Everybody, I'd like to say something!

Excuse me. Everybody,

can I get your attention?

I'd like to say something.

Keep it down.

We're really glad

you could all make it.

We never knew we had so many friends

who believed in this concert idea.

When we first had this idea

of putting on this shindig,

we didn't know if anyone would come.

But look...

You're all here, pitching in.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

Party on!

Garth, I'm starting to get

a bad feeling, man.

I think something's going on.

Hello. Yes?

Is this Aerosmith's tour manager?

It is? Hello.

My name is Wayne Campbell.

You don't know me.

I'm not mental or anything.

I'm putting on a concert in Aurora,

Illinois. Yes, I can hold.

Del, look. For years I thought

this was a Mercedes emblem.

Woodstock?

That was quite a show, man.

- You were at Woodstock?

- Excellent. What was it like?

It rained all morning and then

it cleared up in the afternoon.

That's it. I almost remembered

something else, but it's gone.

You can't remember what it was?

Still holding. I want...

- Wayne, look what I made.

- Good work, my friend.

You guys got the permit applications?

Got the money?

Good for you. Most people

just take them and never come back.

Position 1 to Position 2.

Do you copy?

This is Position 2 in position.

Position 3, what's your position?

Position 3. I read you.

- Position 4, do you copy? Over.

- 4 copies. Back to Position 1. Over.

I've to go to IA

for a couple of days.

If you need anything...

I'm at this number.

Position 1 to Position 2.

Did you see that?

This is Position 2 in position!

Sorry, man. I didn't see anything.

What is it?

Abort! We have been identified!

Abandon positions!

Wayne, let's run away!

Garth, it's locked! In here!

The Tool Box

Come on! Let's go!

Do it, Miss Thing! Do it! Do it!

Get it, girl! Get it, girl!

What's the matter? You look like you

want to say something to me.

- I think we should break up.

- What? Why?

Because there comes a time when

people should go their separate ways.

I mean, I've got Waynestock, you've

got your career and your producer,

and I just think it's time

that we should see other people.

I don't want to see other people.

- What about Bobby?

- What about him?

Come on! Do you think

I'm a gullibull or even a gullicalf?

I've no idea

what you're talking about.

Right! Come on, now!

What about these?

- Where did these come from?

- I did a little detective work.

- You did spy on me.

- Yes, I did.

Easy.

I think she took that well.

Let's go.

Ladies and gentlemen!

Your roadie training begins today.

It will not be easy.

You will get tired.

You will get blisters.

You will get aches and pains.

But you will also get good.

- Are you ready?

- Yes, sir!

Roadies present

and accounted for, sir!

Let's begin.

Eye on the task! Come on. Let's go!

Jesus! It's crazy!

They're getting better, Del. Look.

Get that microphone!

You're worthless!

You're less than nothing!

What's keeping you here?

You don't belong here!

- Why don't you just quit?

- 'Cause I got no place else to go!

Thanks for coming in with me. I'm

always afraid to come in by myself.

Come. Come on.

Come on. Sit down.

And I'll fix us a little drink, OK?

There you are. An Old Fashioned.

This Coke's gone bad.

I just love a man

with a sense of humour.

- You know what I wish?

- What?

I wish I could climb inside that big

brain of yours and just walk around.

Really?

- You know what I love?

- What?

I love the way those big,

thick glasses magnify your pupils.

Look at me.

I'll bet you like to be

in control. Tell me.

When I was 17, my little sister tried

to borrow my Def leppard record.

- I said, "No way."

- That's just what I'm talking about.

- Oh, my God. You're so limber.

- Don't you just love music?

Do you have any Megadeth?

- Come with me.

- I'm blind.

I'm dancing.

You're real squiggly.

- Did you hurt yourself?

- Yeah.

- Let me see. Oh. There.

- That's it. Yeah.

Feel naughty. Feel naughty.

I thought I saw a puddy cat.

Boldly go where no man

has gone before.

- There's got to be a way to find...

- Take me, Garth.

Where?

I'm low on gas and you need a jacket.

- I'm gonna be frank.

- OK. Can I still be Garth?

Shut up and kiss me.

Can I have some cocoa later?

Good morning, darling.

I trust you slept well.

I hope I wasn't

too much of an animal.

- Come. Hold me.

- You know I will.

Party on.

He's bobbing.

He's weaving. He winds up!

Outside!

- Are you all right?

- Women.

I feel like I'm in the delete bin

of life, next to Mahogany Rush.

I'm sorry.

Relationships aren't for the timid.

And I should know.

For I'm no longer a stranger

in the ways of the woman.

All right, man, all right.

Good work, my friend.

- On that note, game on.

- Game on!

All right!

He's wheeling. He's dealing.

He shoots! He scores!

OK. Ladies and gentlemen, it takes

two people to run a concert.

One backstage and one out front. Two.

One man alone cannot do this.

Wayne, you will run

the backstage team.

Milton, you are the liaison

between Wayne's backstage team

and Garth's frontstage team,

which includes myself in the booth.

To the left and the right of

the stage are the machine gun nests,

belt-fed M-60 Brownings.

These babies tend to heat up,

so shoot in three-second bursts.

In the event of capture,

I will personally

distribute cyanide capsules,

to be placed under the tongue

like so. Any questions?

Yeah. I have a question.

When did you turn into a nut bar?

Thank you, Mr Scream. I'm gonna

be joined by Wayne and Garth,

giving us the low-down

on the Waynestock concert.

Hi. We're here to see Handsome Dan.

I'm Wayne Campbell.

Ja. I know. We've been expecting you,

Wayne Campbell. I am Bjergen Kjergen.

I love your accent.

Where are you from?

- I am from Sweden.

- Really? Where abouts in Sweden?

Knuergen, near the Bjoergen Fjords.

Nice to meet you, Bjergen Kjergen

from Knuergen

near the Bjoergen Fjords.

Knuergen...? That's Kluergen

province, near Bibuergen River.

- Ja.

- Now correct me if I'm wrong.

Your rainfall varies from 40 inches

in the winter to 200 in summer.

And your chief export

is modular furniture.

I did a project on Sweden

in the eighth grade.

I am impressed with your quest

for knowledge.

- Educated men are rare.

- I was up all night working on it.

Then the next day in gym class,

I was on the minitramp,

and I got diarrhoea.

I really wish I hadn't told you that.

I am sorry to hear of your illness,

but since you've sacrificed

your health for knowledge of my

country, I find you very attractive.

I hope to make love to you

in the near future.

OK. All right. OK. All right.

Dick Van Dyke Show.

- Good work, my friend.

- Yeah.

- Are you wearing Brut?

- Yes.

My woman likes me in cologne.

Wayne, Garth, let me get

my headset off. I'll be right out.

Hi, Handsome Dan.

It's great to meet you.

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