We'll Never Have Paris

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Like any organ does

as we grow older,

the eye deteriorates and decays.

Whether it is genetic predisposition

Or environmental factors,

we are subject to

losing the gift of sight,

clouding the windows

to our souls, if you will.

Did you know that cataracts

are now responsible

for 48% of world blindness?

Though aging is the primary cause,

there are a wide variety...

Devon, you are just going to

grade papers the whole time?

What? This is my lunch break.

What do you want me?

To do, pray for you?

Your eye is fine, okay.

Just like your teeth aren't getting

Looser, and you did not have foot rot.

Knock on wood.

Oh, okay.

I have to get the rest

of these papers to my TA.

However, I love you.

You are okay.

Love you.

Say hi to the doc for me.

See you after work,

assuming I can still see.

To irreversible loss of vision.

Quinn.

Hey there, pal.

Hi, Dad.

So, what is it this time?

A little redness?

Yeah, just in the left eye. A little

dot's been there for about a week.

Okay.

Let us go.

Let us just lean forward.

Place your chin on

the plastic piece there.

In addition, look

directly into the light.

Right here.

Good.

Oh, by the way,

your mother made some of that.

Egg salad that you love, you

know, with the tarragon,

I brought some in for you.

Thanks.

Well, what do you know?

Pingueculitis.

It's an irritation or a

thinning of the conjunctiva.

It usually found

In elderly people,

Latinos,

people who work outdoors.

You the outdoorsy type now?

I would go with Latino

before outdoorsy.

It could also have something

to do with your nose.

What is wrong with my nose?

Nothing. It is a beautiful nose,

You got the Berman nose.

Only it's, slightly more pronounced

than other noses might be.

How does my nose

size contribute to this?

It's acting as a, kind of,

large reflector, if you will.

Therefore, my nose

is so large that,

What, the reflection

Is burning a hole in my eye?

No, no, no, no, no.

Just the lining of it.

The treatment is

artificial tears

and UV-protection sunglasses.

You are getting

older there, my boy.

Twenty-eight is not old.

Yeah.

It is not really the age

Where it makes any sense.

Nor the race.

All right,

I will get your UV sunglasses.

The women are going to love you.

Dad, I have

A girlfriend for 10 years.

Kidding, I love Devon.

When are you going to propose?

I was about to.

I have Mama's ring.

Now, with this illness...

It is not an illness.

It is a condition.

It is treatable.

Marriage, I mean.

How many times a day do I have?

To put in the artificial tears?

Six to eight.

Alternatively, I could just

Insert some punctual plugs.

- Insert where.

- In your punctual.

In my what?

Tear ducts.

Little, tiny, umbrella-shaped,

silicon plugs

that block out the drainage of

tears, thus, irrigating the eye.

I am a little...

Sit, sit.

Come on, sit down, and sit down.

That is it. Put your

head between your legs.

Your grandmother used to say...

That means, "You only get

one first marriage."

That is inspiring.

Look...

If Devon is the one,

Unless there's a piece of coal in

that ring, instead of a diamond,

your sitting on it longer,

Is not doing you any good.

You saw the people

in the waiting room.

They were all you, yesterday.

WE WILL NEVER HAVE PARIS

Dev.

What?

Aren't you

supposed to be at work?

Impersonating late Miles Davis.

What happened?

No, nothing.

I wanted sir to prize...

To precise...

I wanted to surprise you.

Okay.

Wait, what did he

say about your eye?

Oh, no, it is fine.

Actually, it put

everything into perspective.

That well, I am finally...

You know...

Moreover, I love you more than...

Okay, I love you too.

However, you are scaring me.

Therefore, there is nothing

Wrong with your eye?

Yes, there is... No...

Yes, there is...

It is Pingueculitis.

It is not a big deal, I am just

Supposed to wear those glasses but...

Well, you know, I do know how

Seriously, you take fashion.

Yeah, says the girl

Who only wears clogs?

What? They are comfortable.

Yeah, well, that does not make

They not clog.

Very cloggy.

What?

You are just my favorite.

Well, you are up there

for me too.

Well...

The day has come...

Oh, my God.

You got a gig playing piano.

- I...

- No, no, no.

However, did not you send in your

demo? Tape to the Thai restaurant?

No one wants to hear live jazz.

While they're eating microbe,

It is too much.

Come on, at some point you're going

to Have to play in front of people.

Anyway, I just wanted to...

I have to go.

You have class.

- Thank you so much for surprising me.

- Okay. Okay.

I am going to call you

On the way home.

I am sorry. I just supposed to

be giving a lecture on Flaubert.

You do not have to lecture them

about Flaubert.

Just say it nicely.

- All right. Love you.

- Love you.

It is just this eye condition.

Ping... Wait, what.

Pingueculitis.

Is it... Is it contagious?

No.

What are we doing with the rose?

Petals, did I miss an order?

I am... Uh, I am...

Okay, do not say

Anything, Kelsey.

However, I am going to ask

Devon to marry me.

Wow.

You know, I used to propose to

Girls in elementary school.

I mean, I was in elementary school

too. It was not just illegal.

Yay! Yay!

Yeah. Thanks.

I mean, of course.

I called it in high school.

You did, yeah. What about you?

You are still with...

We broke up.

The basketball player.

- We broke up too.

- Oh.

However, there is a new person,

Isaac, you will meet him tonight.

We are having pizza

Before Jameson's, right?

- Yes, yeah. In addition, you are bringing...

- Isaac.

- Isaac.

- Yeah, the mechanic.

Cool. Well, if it does not

work out with him

I have a great mechanic.

- Thanks.

- Yay.

Can I talk to you for a second?

Sure.

I think I might be

in love with you.

A little.

With me?

No, you are right. Never mind.

No. Wait.

- What?

- I mean...

Obviously, I do not want to

ruin what we have here.

In addition, I love Devon.

She always buys me lottery

Tickets on my birthday

'cause she know how

much I want to win.

However, it just hit me,

That all these people,

I mean, they do not challenge me.

In addition, you...

You make me feel like a lady.

In addition, you listen.

In addition, you make eye contact.

Are you really going to marry the

first girl you've ever been with?

Well...

One girl

in your entire life.

I am sorry.

I should not have told you.

Yes, you should have.

However, you can do better.

Look at you,

You are like a model.

I mean, when we hug, I look like

a skin tag hanging off of you.

Ewe!

Come on, you are a man.

A man, what lead?

You to believe that?

Sorry.

I can get

a little rough sometimes.

Sure.

Me too.

I will see you tonight.

Right. Tonight, yeah.

I will see you tonight.

- Oh, this one?

- Yeah, that one.

Yeah, thanks.

This is lucky seven.

My mom got it for me, 'cause

In my family, this is like...

Therefore, what does?

The tattoo on your neck says.

"Veni, vidi, vici."

"I came, I saw, I conquered."

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