We'll Never Have Paris Page #6

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You finished learning it.

My God. Quinn,

your eye is insanely red.

- What? What?

- Um, oh...

It must be the...

- What is it?

- Pingueculitis.

I don't know how

to say it in French.

I can barely say it in English.

Let me get you a warm

washcloth or something.

Okay, Excusez-moi.

Quinn.

I'm in here.

Hi.

What the f***?

Boy, your eye looks crazo.

What? What are you doing here?

The address in the database,

remember?

Okay, this is awkward.

No sh*t. This is not okay.

I am making a fool of myself

just like you said.

No. No, no, no. I...

Thank you for coming all the

way out here for me, Kelsey.

Quinn, I want...

Stop talking to me as me.

That's insane that you do that.

I don't feel that way about

you, Kelsey. Jesus, I'm sorry.

I was actually...

No, no, no. No prostitute.

A friend. A comrade.

My Vuillaume.

My God. My God.

Jameson, pick up. F***!

Hello.

Kurt, don't hang up.

Please. I'm in trouble.

- You're in trouble?

- Yes.

I mean, not physically.

Although, kind of.

All right.

I want your sister back.

I'm in Paris and I need her.

I want to marry her.

She's about to go to Provence,

with some French tool.

Dude, I'm in the middle

of a job interview right now.

Kurt, please! You're my friend.

You want her?

Because if you hurt her again,

I will destroy you.

I know. I won't, I promise.

Okay.

All right.

You listen very carefully, okay?

And I'm not just saying this

because I know my sister,

I'm saying this

because I know women.

You tell her, she can't see him.

She will see him.

And she will f*** him...

Tonight.

Man, I don't know.

She will f*** him.

Well, what do I then?

Hello?

Hello? Kurt, hello?

Sh*t.

Hi.

I have caused quite a tumult

here today.

You want to translate that

or they'll get the gist?

Or you can recap.

Anyhow,

I am sorry

to everyone.

I hope to make it up

and repay you all

emotionally.

I did this in a clumsy attempt

to win you back, Devon.

I apologize for the carnage

that has accrued along the way.

Needless to say,

I'll be going home now.

I love you, Devon.

I hope you can remember that.

Sorry.

Excuse-moi.

Like any

organ does as we grow older,

the eye deteriorate...

My baby boy.

So Paris was what? All right?

It was...

I don't want to say

epically emasculating

on a trans-continental level.

But...

No, actually I do.

Yeah, it's hard

being a man, huh?

And the hardest part is that it

becomes less acceptable to be a boy.

Do you love her? Devon?

I love her so much.

But I screwed up.

How did you know where I was?

I have my ways.

I heard you were

coming back tomorrow.

Mmm, I wanted to surprise you.

Sweet gig.

Yeah.

They pay me in

pad sees ew, but...

You know, I could stay

with Jameson tonight

if you want some space.

Quinn...

I came back for you.

Really?

I missed you.

There is a ring in my trunk.

What?

I have something in my trunk

that I wanted to give you

just at some point.

What? What is it?

Did you say a ring?

A ring?

Yeah.

Are you proposing to me?

Hang on.

Here.

What is this?

Uh, I guess, I guess...

I'm asking you to

marry me.

You guess?

No. No, no, no. I am. I...

I am.

- Here.

- Okay.

Sorry.

Devon,

will you marry me?

My God! Yes.

- Yes?

- Yeah.

I will.

I can't believe you did this.

I can't either.

I wanted it to be

more romantic. But...

No.

I just couldn't wait.

I couldn't wait.

I love you.

I love you.

There's one last thing

I should probably tell you.

What?

I slept with someone

while we were apart

and I told you

I hadn't seen anybody.

And that happened,

but we weren't together.

You didn't even know her.

It was just purely me trying

to get it out of my system.

Like you said,

I didn't even like it.

I wanted to have a clean slate

before we get married

and that's that.

So...

Are you mad?

You don't want to...

I'm sorry.

You okay.

How could you?

How could you ruin

this moment for me?

I'm not even upset about

the other part, but...

I can't tell my friends,

my parents this story.

Sure, you can.

You can leave this part out.

Just not even excited anymore.

I'm not happy.

And it's f***ing September 11th.

Sh*t, is that today?

I didn't realize.

Well, we'll never forget.

But we can just get past this.

I mean, we're still

going to get married.

I don't want to talk

about it right now.

You're not considering

not marrying me, are you?

I don't want to talk about it.

But I, I...

I made a mistake.

I was just trying to be honest

with you, for us.

Not for me. I swear.

I've been dreaming

about how I was going to

propose to my girlfriend

since third grade.

This was not

what it looked like.

F***-o-f***. I ruined it.

I f***ed this up.

You're the love of my life. I f***ed

this up. I've ruined your moment too.

Please, just say yes.

Call people. Enjoy this.

I'll do anything.

Here, just come back outside.

I'll propose again.

Please,

just switch your brain off.

It's willpower.

Please! I'm sorry!

Please say yes. Say yes!

Please! Please say yes!

Okay, okay.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

What the f*** is that?

The net didn't open.

What?

The plan was to propose

when you got back.

And if you said yes, I was

going to pull this string.

I didn't have time to test it. It's

filled with rose petals, but...

I guess, I rigged it wrong.

That's a good thing that you

didn't propose to me here.

It would've been

a total disaster.

Hey.

You want to try again.

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