We're Not Married! Page #5

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- No.

But what do you do after you're

through with your business...

go straight back to the hotel?

As a rule, yes. Occasionally, I drop in

somewhere for a bowl of puffed rice first.

How would you like me to fly down

and join you there one night?

Maybe tonight. And we took

a look around the town together,

just for the fun of it.

In-Indeed I would, poochy.

Uh, we-we might have

another shot at the rhumba, eh?

What time do you get through

with your business?

Oh, 9:
30, 1 0:00, something like that.

I could meet you.

Wouldn't be necessary.

I'll have dinner on the plane, take a taxi

straight to the hotel. No trouble at all.

- What hotel is it?

- You know, the Calvin Coolidge,

where I always stay.

All right then, it is a date.

Absolutely, and a jolly good one too.

Look here, do you think I should

have a cold bottle of the bubbly

waiting for you?

- That's the idea.

- [ Both Giggling ]

It'll be there. And more

where that came from.

- You won't change your mind, now will you?

- Don't be silly.

You just be there in the room,

you and the champagne.

- [ Chuckling ]

- And I'll take care of the rest of it.

[ Chuckling Louder]

- We-We'll be there, all right.

- Oh,yes.

And don't forget

to register for me.

Why, of course not.

[ Buzzer Buzzing ]

[ Buzzes ]

I'm sorry I'm late.

Uh, is that the bedroom?

- Yes.

- Thank you.

You know, I'm so mad I could spit.

My watch stopped. I kept thinking

it looked mighty late to be 9:30.

I'm afraid we're a bit

at sixes and sevens, aren't we?

What do you mean,

sixes and sevens?

Well, uh, I'm afraid

you have the wrong room.

Oh, have I?

- Isn't this 907? Melrose?

- Yes.

- Well, that's my name--

- We're okay, honey.

- I beg your pardon?

- Oh, did you shut that door?

- What? Yes.

- Open it, will you?

- But I--

- Go ahead. Open it.

They'll be here in a minute.

Oh, really?

Thanks.

- You Melrose?

- Yes. May I ask who you are?

And where is Mrs. Melrose?

She's not here.

I'm expecting her a little later.

- Getting ready to throw a big one, eh?

- Now look here, my good man--

- Who's the dame?

- I haven't the faintest idea.

- Not the missus?

- Certainly not. This young woman

just walked in here.

- I never saw her before--

- You guys get that?

- [ Both ] Got it.

- That's all, pal. Good night.

- Now look here. I demand

an explanation of this.!

- Good night.

Good night, Mr. Melrose.

Good night.

[ Intercom Buzzes ]

- Yes?

- [ Woman ] Mrs. Melrose is here.

Is she alone?

No, sir.

Tell them to come in, please.

Good morning, uh, Eve.

- This is my attorney, Mr. Stone.

- How do you do?

- We're not liable to be

interrupted here, are we?

- No, I'm afraid not.

- You met Mr. Magnus, I believe.

- Oh, yes, of course--

Oh, you. Now see here,

uh, uh, this man--

Uh,just a moment, please.

Sit down, Mrs. Melrose.

- I understand you're not

contesting the divorce action.

- No, but--

You're smart. Because I hate to think

of the job we could do on you...

if you tried to get tough about it.

Now look here.

That's not it, at all.

I'm not opposing Mrs. Melrose's

action for divorce...

for the simple reason that I have no wish

to hold her against her will.

If I had suspected

for one moment that she...

no longer loved me--

Okay, then, we can get

to the meat and potatoes.

You know what a property

settlement is, don't you?

- Why, of course.

- Uh, sit down, will you?

And you know about the community

property law we've got in this state?

In a sense.

Well, the sense in this case is that

Mrs. Melrose is already entitled,

under the law...

to 50% of the estate.

- Fifty percent?

- One half of the total.

So that part of it we don't

even have to discuss.

Well, look here, th-that

doesn't seem quite fair to me.

Uh, well, does it to you?

[ Stone ] Yes, but think ofhow

it simplifies the situation.

- How do you mean?

- With that much of it settled...

all we have to discuss now is

how much of your half she wants.

My half? Look here, I think I'd better

get my lawyer, Mr. Longstreet.

[ Stone ] You may take my word for

it that you'll be very sorry if you do.

I've got a list of

your assets here somewhere.

Mrs. Melrose has had some difficulty

in locating some of the items...

but the law takes a very stern

view of concealed assets.

So I'm sure we can count on

your cooperation in completing it.

Now see here. If you think

I'm going to give Mrs. Melrose...

one cent more

than she's entitled to...

y-you're wasting your time.

- You're not?

- I am not. And that's final.

Mr. Melrose, I had hoped we could

all be spared this embarrassment...

but if you're going to be

unreasonable about this...

I have no course but to remind you that there

are laws in this country-- criminal laws--

against the kind of entertainment you

have permitted yourself on business trips.

- Do I make myself clear?

- Criminal laws?

Entirely aside from the divorce action,

there are aspects of this case...

that would be of the greatest interest

to the district attorney...

if we chose to call

his attention to them.

You-You wouldn't dare do that.

This was obviously a frame-up.

I-- I never saw that

hotel woman in my life.

Would you like to explain that

to a judge and jury?

Well, I-- [ Nervous Chuckle ]

I most certainly would.

[ Snaps Fingers ]

You tell them that,

we'll show them this.

Well, you can bet your--

Is that your handwriting or not?

Well, let's see what we have here.

First, of course,

is the Willow Avenue house.

I'd better keep that to live in.

- Yes. And contents, of course.

- Of course.

Uh, we'll send you your clothes.

Next is the checking account

at the Seventh National Bank.

I'll need that, too,

for running expenses.

Yes, we'd better slap

a court order on that one immediately...

before he writes any more checks.

But I-I'm a little short already.

Next looks like the jackpot--

the AT&T stock.

You really went to town on that one,

didn't you? 30,000 shares.

That's the one

I'mreallyinterested in.

It's blackmail.

That's all it is. It's blackmail!

Please, Mr. Melrose,

Mrs. Melrose is still your wife.

Next, we have two cars--

one limousine and one jeep.

- I'll take the limousine.

- A very wise choice.

[ Stone ] Government bonds to

the value of,let's see now...

uh, $ 1,000... 1 1--

- [ Buzzer ]

- Oh, uh, yes?

- [ Woman ] The Polhausers are here.

- Oh, I'll be right out.

- Oh, send them away.

- Oh, I'll-I'll see them outside.

Will you excuse me, please?

Uh, excuse me.

Get Mr. Longstreet

on the phone, quickly.

Tropic-45267?

Mr. Melrose

for Mr. Longstreet, please.

Oh, would you try to locate him?

It's very important.

[ Laughter ]

He's out of his office.

I'm waiting.

Oh, would you like to see the mail?

This one looks important.

From the governor's office.

[ Laughter ]

Thank you. I'll wait.

Mr. Longstreet on the phone.

I don't need him now.

[ Laughter Continues ]

[ Laughter Continues ]

What-- Oh! Oh!

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