We Don't Live Here Anymore

You want a drink?

I think we're out of beer.

- We out of beer?

- You're empty.

- I'll go get some.

- I'll go.

- No, I'll go. I don't care.

- No, I'll go. I could use the air.

Jungle warrior!

Wait.

What are we doing?

I don't know.

Should we stop this?

Stop what?

- Oh, my God.

- Should we stop?

- No.

- I don't ever wanna stop.

- I don't either.

- I'll meet you tomorrow at 12 at Shane's.

- Yeah, okay.

- All right.

Okay.

- Bye, you guys.

- All right. Good night.

- Come here.

- What?

- Come here. Get in here.

- What? Terry?

What's the matter?

No more of this crap, all right?

From now on, we act like a married couple.

- No more flirting around. You understand?

- No. How could I?

Who can understand

such a flaming pile of bullshit?

Oh, Jack. Come on, don't play dumb.

- Please.

- Terry...

...why don't you have some wine.

We've been drinking gin.

I don't want wine.

Let's talk about this in the morning.

You're drunk and we're gonna fight.

And you have that look of yours.

Forget that look of mine.

Let's talk about you and Edith.

The little trips you take.

These damn errands.

Somebody runs out of something...

...some goddamn egg rolls, and off you go,

you and Edith.

Egg rolls? Really?

Egg rolls?

What are you talking about?

You know, you shouldn't

leave me with Hank...

...and put me in that position.

- What position?

- Jack, listen to me.

- What?

Something's going on.

I mean, either you want it to,

or it is.

That is such a lot of horseshit. Okay?

What is wrong with me and Edith going off

to get a goddamn six-pack of beer?

What are you really worried about?

It's you and Hank being left alone together.

- I see you two. You're horny for Hank.

- Oh, please.

- I'm supposed to feel guilty because of that?

- I'm horny for my husband.

Jesus. We're not a couple of f***ing

honeymooners anymore, for chrissake.

Why aren't we?! We've been married

so long that you're bored?

- Terry.

- No. Is that what it is?

- You can leave anytime.

- Terry...

Maybe we should talk about...

...how long this is gonna last.

- Terry!

- I am not going anywhere!

- The kids'll be fine.

If you're suffering...

...if this is such a disappointment.

- You're the only wife I know...

...that gets pissed off at her husband

for not hanging on her at a party!

- Husbands touch their wives!

- You see Hank fondling Edith every second?

Hank doesn't love her.

He told me while you were out.

- He said that to you?

- Yeah.

- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.

Why? Why did he tell you that?

I don't know. He just said it.

What were you doing?

He just blurted that out? Seems odd.

We were talking.

How else do people tell each other things?

When people say things like that

they're doing other things.

Yeah, I was blowing him on the porch.

- What do you care?

- I don't.

- As long as you tell me the truth.

- The truth?

Jack, you won't even admit the truth.

- You don't really love me.

- Terry, it's not true.

It's never been true. And when you say sh*t

like that, for one minute it is the truth!

- Do you understand me?

- F*** you!

F*** you!

Goddamn it!

F***er!

Bastard!

I'm trying to concentrate!

Give me back my paper!

Oh, sh*t.

Dad!

Stop it! You're making too much noise.

Oh, sh*t.

Mom!

Stop it!

Come back here!

Mom!

- Mom!

- What?!

Go to school.

It's summer. I don't have to.

You go to school.

It's Saturday. I don't have to.

So, what are you gonna do today?

Make up stories.

Why?

Make people laugh. Make people cry.

But why?

- Hey, have you seen my keys?

- Yeah. They're over here.

The sitter's coming over in a couple hours.

I'm gonna go out and do some things.

I'm gonna go run with Jack

after I finish writing.

- Okay.

- See you.

Hey. Hey.

Have a good day.

You too.

Hey.

Yeah?

- You want lunch or breakfast?

- What do you got?

Cereal if you want breakfast. If you want

lunch, I could get lobsters. For you and me.

- Kids don't like them anyway.

- I can't. I'm in a hurry. I'm taking the car in.

It'll just take half an hour.

I need the car there by 12.

- You have to?

- Lf I want the work done, yeah.

Well, what's the work?

Oil and a lube.

That doesn't take very long, so...

Terry, those guys got work to do,

and they want the car now or not at all.

They don't care if you want a lobster.

But if you do want one, get it before I go.

You petulant son of a b*tch, just make love

to your wife and have a f***ing lobster.

I don't want one by myself.

Why? You don't think it'd taste as good?

You know what I mean.

You want Cheerios or Grape-Nuts?

Grape-Nuts, please.

D*ckhead.

F***.

Jesus Christ.

Sean. Sean.

Cease and desist, man.

- You slept late.

- Yeah. Because it's Saturday.

It's because you were up late.

You guys were fighting.

Oh, yeah? What did you hear?

Yelling and swear words. Then you left.

You know what, guys? Grownups fight.

Especially married ones.

- You want me to make something to eat?

- I could eat a horse.

I could eat a horse.

Give that to your brother.

If I promise not to get fat,

can I keep our baby?

Want dessert too?

- Do we even have any?

- We never have dessert.

I'm a stupid papa.

I'll pick some up on my way home.

- Where are you going?

- I'm going to get the car fixed.

Can I go?

No, because I'm gonna go

running with Hank afterwards.

- We don't mind. We'll watch you.

- No.

It's Mama!

I want us to start having desserts, Mama.

- Yay! Desserts!

- We never have desserts.

- I'm off.

- Okay...

- Get enough to eat?

- Yep.

- Bye, Dad!

- See you!

How come Daddy likes desserts,

and you don't?

Daddy's a daddy

and Mommy's a mommy.

Mom.

Honey, we're different people.

We're not the same. We're different.

Hey.

- You signed up for summer classes?

- Sure. Why not?

Oh, man.

If I were you, I'd be at the beach

every hour of every day this summer.

- I have to make up some credits.

- No.

Anyone who looks like you

doesn't have to do anything.

See you, Mr. Evans.

Enjoy!

Won't last forever.

Yeah, just check the oil.

- Give it a lube job if you can.

- Sure.

I'm just gonna go on a couple errands

with my wife over there...

Duck. I think he's on to you.

Maybe I should start smoking your brand.

Maybe you should ask your husband

to babysit our kids while we f***.

- He'd be glad to.

- Yeah. Well, she wouldn't.

I think he wants to have sex with her.

- Why?

- Why?

- Yeah.

- Because he likes her and she's pretty.

He hasn't had any strange p*ssy

since that French c*nt.

I mean, why do you think he wants to?

The way he looks at her,

the way he looked at us...

...when we came back from buying beer.

- Oh, yeah? And how was that?

Sheepish.

- Does that bother you?

- Me? No.

Good. We can all babysit for each other.

"She blooms, she blooms.

And in May, so hurt."

In May, I was alone.

Stinky.

- You'll get sunburnt.

- No.

And then you'll get caught.

- I should keep the sun off.

- No. I can't. I can't.

- Oh, come on. Yes, you can.

- I'm done. I'm old.

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