What's New Pussycat Page #8

Synopsis: Michael James, a notorious womanizer, desperately wants to be faithful to his fiancée Carole, but runs into serious problems since every woman he meets seems to fall in love with him. His psychoanalyst Dr. Fassbender can't help him either since he's busy courting one of his patients who in turn longs for Michael. A catastrophe appears on the horizon as all the characters check into the Chateau Chantelle hotel for the weekend not knowing of each other's presence.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Clive Donner
Production: United Artists
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 3 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.2
Rotten Tomatoes:
29%
APPROVED
Year:
1965
108 min
816 Views


- And what else?

- I don't know.

- Nothing.

- That's nice.

Pussycat from the sky.

I can't resist you.

Don't resist me.

Capitulate.

- Please, let me in.

- No.

- Please let me in, Miss Lefebvre.

- No.

Let me in! Let me in! Or I'll scream!

- I won't.

- What do you think I'm gonna do to you?

You have a strange look in your eyes

and I'm late for an appointment.

I only want to talk.

What's so awful in that?

- Later. I've got to go someplace.

- No, now! I'm fed up with being put off!

Argh!

Shh.

Five minutes of your time!

One drink is all I ask. Otherwise I'll hold

my breath till the life goes out of my body!

Doctor! Doctor!

All right, then.

A quick, fast drink and I must really go.

Try to think of me as a kindly old man

who has only your best interests at heart.

All right.

- Your oysters and champagne, madame.

- Oysters and champagne?

- I thought you looked a little tired.

- Little tired?

I'm out of my mind.

What am I doing here?

I'm spoken for. I'm promised forth.

Now, look! Don't open that bottle,

and close up those oysters and get out.

- Come back to bed immediately.

- Now, look here.

I've had a lot of experience fondling...

handling giris like you and it's got to stop.

Oh!

I'm going to try not to come back.

Michael James, you were gravely tempted

and you came through it unspotted.

I've been in there twice.

Oh, Michael! There you are!

I followed you up here and checked in.

- How did you know I was here?

- Please don't hate me!

Oh, no! I don't hate you.

Now, don't swallow anything!

I'm so upset...

Listen to me a minute.

I must pull myself together.

- I'm fine. I'm rational.

- I want to do something terrible!

I'm in a tight situation. I shall

behave in a mature and rational way.

- Sometimes I wanna kill myself.

- First I shall gag you. Then I'll bind you.

You're hurting me.

My wife, the creature

that ate Europe, is here.

- You're breaking my wrist!

- I'm a doctor, I'll fix it!

Let me go!

Fritz! Where are you?

I am being chased by a maniac.

Could you help?

- Quick! Get in the closet.

- In the closet.

Thank you very much.

Oh, Victor. I can't let you make love to me

with a person in the closet.

Why, how many people

in the closet do you need?

Please help me!

- My wife is coming. I've got to hide!

- Quick, get in the closet!

Argh! Help!

That man was the maniac!

A little misunderstanding, nothing more.

Hey, that's some closet

you've got there.

Fritz!

Please, where is he now?

I've just been tied up.

I know. There is a maniac loose.

Come with me.

- Fritz!

- Argh!

Let us in!

Hello. The police?

I need help.

- The orgy's in here!

- We're the first ones!

- What a lovely way to start.

- Hi! Wait for me!

You are horrible people!

Get away from me! Michael!

Wait! Wait! You! Stop!

- Who is that woman?

- Is she dead?

Dead? Sure, she's dead.

But she did not die in vain.

Because of her, thousands of Frenchmen

will be free someday. For France I do this!

Oh!

Smoking is forbidden.

Oh!

You've got to help.

There are lots of dreadful men after me.

This is no place for a working girl.

Come on!

Goody goody!

There's one in there. One in there.

Another one there. I'm off!

- Michael! There you are!

- Hello, there.

- Who is your fiance?

- Welcome to Chateau Chantelle.

A girl called. She said she was meeting

you here and she was your fiance.

That's absurd. You're my fiance

and I don't know any...

- Let's go to your room and have a talk.

- My room?

How about a nice drive in the country?

It's so pretty.

I've been driving all day.

I want to sit down and speak to you.

Let's go into the bar.

We can have a nice drink.

I'd like to do it in private because

I may have to scream and throw things.

- I feel we should be alone for that.

- Oh, a sense of humour.

Michael! I've been looking all over for you!

You're the only one that can help me.

- Our Father...

- Who is that woman?

Never mind who I am,

but you're in great danger.

Never mind? I demand an explanation!

- Don't lose your temper!

- I will... lose... it!

Calm yourself.

Listen. In the first place,

I haven't got another fiance.

In the second place,

you don't trust me in the first place.

Fritz!

Before you use that spear, may I explain

that what you see is merely an illusin.

- An illusin?

- An illusin! Shut the door, count three.

Four if you like, but close the door

and you'll see it's just an illusin.

One. Two. Three.

Foiled by a cheap cinematic trick.

- If you insist, you can see my room.

- You've got some tall explaining to do.

I have never seen

that woman before in my life.

I thought you were here

for a quiet bit of work.

Of course I am. It's a charming little spot.

- No one ever comes here.

- How much work have you done?

- I've only just got here!

- Can I see your room?

Certainly. It's over there.

It's a perfectly ordinary room.

- Is it?

- Listen, pussycat.

- I don't think so.

- Listen! It is!

I won't spend my whole life

waiting around for you.

Nothing like a hard day's work, huh?

Look. I came here alone.

This crowd showed up.

It's been a tremendous mistake.

I know, because I made it.

Oh, Michael, darling.

Please... don't let them take me.

A perfect stranger.

Lucky guess about the name.

Oh, Michael. Everybody's insane.

Take me away from this place.

- Who is that woman?

- She's only 12 and she's an orphan.

- Once a year I take her out.

- Help me! They're after me! I did nothing.

Put that in the shower!

- Here I am, you French hunk of pie...

- Stay back!

Stick it in the tub

and drown it, you twit!

Not in here, you fool. I'm hiding.

Oh, Michael! This hotel

has the strangest people.

- Why did you abandon me?

- She has a PhD.

- In what?

-

You fool. Just when I was

trying to give up smoking.

- Oh, Michael. What a pleasant surprise.

- My compliments to the chef.

- Who are you?

- I'm delighted.

I kill him! I kill everybody!

You don't understand.

There are people in here trying to sleep.

- Who is that thing?

- That is no thing, this is my wife.

- This is a personal friend of James Bond.

- How dare you!

Listen, pussycat. I do assure you. Take all

the pussycats, stand them all in a row...

- Who are these people?

...you stand above them like a mountain...

- Carole!

- Mother, Dad! Come over here.

- Did you set the date yet?

- We're about to.

What's the matter, dear? You look sick.

The police!

Oy vey.

Anna! Up the front.

Form up, everyone.

Charge!

There lies our only conceivable

way of escape. To it, pell-mell!

Away you go!

- Hey!

- Aaah!

Carole!

Michael James,

upon this solemn occasin,

do you take this woman

to be your lawful married wife?

I do.

Do you, Carole Hildegarde Werner,

take this man to be

your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

Best man, have you the ring?

I do.

We live in perilous times.

Look after it, it belongs to my wife.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

- Merci, Monsieur le maire.

- Madame.

Thank you for everything you did for him.

Rate this script:3.3 / 3 votes

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Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, comedian, filmmaker, and playwright, whose career spans more than six decades. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "What's New Pussycat" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/what's_new_pussycat_23298>.

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