What's the Worst That Could Happen? Page #10

---

There's no need to be penalized

for that.

OK, come to Tardio.

Go get 'em, boys and girls.

- Yes, sir.

- OK.

- Hey, hey, hey!

- Hey, hey, nothing.

That's my man. Go get her.

You? The masseuse?

I massaged that baby right off

his hairy little finger.

His wife and I

decided you two had it coming.

You're amazing.

See that ring?

I think it's got

the wrong kind of luck.

- Throw it away.

- Throw it away?

- We worked so hard to...

- Throw it away.

Gone.

This is Kerry Kilbride

reporting from Washington...

where just moments ago

a Senate committee ended...

its long-standing

investigation...

into the alleged media

and broadcasting monopoly...

of billionaire businessman

Max Fairbanks.

Through a series of quick and

effective legal maneuverings...

Mr. Fairbanks

and his attorney...

have taken

the wind out of the sails...

of the Senate committee.

Shook 'em down.

Brother hoodwinked

the entire Senate committee.

That's my boy.

Put on your rubber boots,

'cause here comes the bullshit.

We now go directly to the scene

with Tracey Kimberly.

This is Tracey Kimberly...

reporting live

from the capitol...

where we have just witnessed

a stunning turn of events...

orchestrated by

a relatively unknown lawyer...

from the firm

of Whiteman, Small, Johnson.

- Whiteman, Small, Johnson?

- What do you mean by that?

Here he comes now.

Oh, look! That's my boy!

Look, he on TV?

Yo, look at that!

He got that big...

Oh, no, he didn't!

I'd like to say

power to the people.

Let's rise up.

A quick shout out to my mama.

Mama, I love you.

Mr. Fairbanks,

do you have a statement?

Ladies and gentlemen,

I was dragged through the mud...

I was tarred and feathered

in the streets.

- Can we get an "Oop" up in here?

- Up in here!

I was bent over and stuffed

like a Christmas goose.

Can I get an "Ouch!

That's hurts"?

Ouch! That hurts!

But in the end,

the senators saw the truth...

that I'm an honest

and legitimate businessman.

Counselor, what exactly was your

game plan going in there today?

Well, my brethren...

I'm not one to stand up here

and conversate out of my ass...

nor am I gonna stand up here

and jerk you all off.

Besides the precedents

of Roe vs. Wade...

uh, my Uncle Ray-Ray

vs. the Dairy Queen...

I knew I had to get it

on the inside...

to the big man

for the easy lay-up.

I am full of de facto...

habeas corpus

emancipation proclamation.

I also have

a very, very big pro bono.

Baby, it runs in the family.

What do you believe changed

the senators' minds?

Fourscore, darling!

Yeah, I mean, hey,

everybody makes mistakes...

even senators.

Are you implying

there were improprieties...

on behalf of the senators?

Hey, man, I am a black male...

not a blackmailer.

Nobody's perfect.

Isn't that right,

Senator Richards?

- Senator Richards!

- Senator!

Well, heh heh! I owe you one.

Yeah. Hey, don't mention it.

You just take care of yourself.

- Hey, right on.

- Right on!

What a guy.

Son of a b*tch!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes