What's Your Number? Page #9

So, you're still gonna come to the wedding,

even though Dad's gonna be there, too?

Of course, darling.

My baby only gets married once.

Right?

I am so proud of my girls.

(IN SINGSONG) Seating chart.

Seating chart.

Where's the little seating chart?

Do we tell her about Jacinda?

No. I think we quit while we're ahead.

- Bye, Mom.

- Bye, Mom.

What?

...and get you drunk

So I can have my wicked way with you

I'm just being honest

'Cause I know the other guys are

thinking just the same way too

I really love Japan.

Really?

- Are those mini cheeseburgers?

- Yes, they are.

May I? Thank you.

You didn't want one?

No, I'm okay. Thank you.

Mmm. These are excellent

mini cheeseburgers.

- Thank you. Thank you.

- Thank you.

Show me some skin

I might bite it

I wanna have my wicked way with you

So I'm not gonna come over

and meet your mom and dad

They know that I was bad

I'm just thinking of

three hours or more

So I can have my wicked way with you

My wicked way with you

- Colin, hi.

- Hi.

Fancy meeting you here, dressed all fancy.

Where you off to?

A wedding.

You, too, right? Today's Daisy's big day.

Yeah.

Wow. You're going to a wedding, too.

That's weird.

Whose wedding?

Nobody you know.

Oh.

Is it like a date or something?

Are you seeing somebody?

Don't worry about it, Ally.

Don't drink too much champagne.

(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALL CLAMORING)

Hey, is my hair too high?

Oh, no, honey. It's perfect.

- [JAMIE]:
Is it going on?

- The dress doesn't fit.

- Okay.

- Why isn't it zipped?

Can I get some help here?

Where's my Croissan' Wich?

Did somebody eat my Croissan' Wich?

No, honey. Nobody did.

You just relax, okay?

Katie, Jamie, find Daisy's Croissan' Wich.

- Okay. On it.

- Got it. Okay.

Okay, listen,

- I don't want anyone to panic but...

- What's happening?

- The harpist isn't coming.

- I had a harpist?

She broke her finger during the

philharmonic softball league playoffs,

and given that this is one of the

busiest wedding weekends of the year,

all the other harpists are booked.

Oh, Christ. Why is this happening to me?

[KEVIN]:
I got a list of all

the other weddings happening in the city

and found a replacement who can be here

as soon as her first wedding is over.

And if she doesn't show, I play the horn.

Now let's get this girl married, huh?

(ALL CHEERING)

Daise, I got it.

(CHAMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

(TUBA PLAYING BRIDAL CHORUS)

[OFFICIANT]:

Please rise for the bride.

We are gathered here today

to celebrate the union

of Daisy Ann Darling

and Edward Michael Vogel.

Getting to know Daisy and Eddie

has reinforced my belief that,

while love is universal,

every couple is unique.

(HOLDING A HEARTPLAYING)

Daisy Darling,

today I make these vows to you.

I will never rhyme "crazy" with "Daisy,"

(ALL LAUGHING)

Even if I mean, like, "crazy good".

I will not blow my nose in the shower.

(ALL EX CLAIMING)

I promise to always consult you

before getting a haircut

and to never grow a mustache.

- Or a soul patch.

- No.

I will not blame you for the bad decisions

you make in my dreams.

I will keep an eye on

that suspicious freckle on your back,

even though I'm really sure it's nothing.

And I will not get mad at you

about everything

when I'm only really mad at you

about one thing.

[OFFICIANT]:

By the power vested in me,

I am happy to pronounce you

husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

(ALL CHEERING)

I'm holding a heart here in my hand

Hey, hey, hey

My own work of art

Here where I stand

Hey, hey, hey

(SINGING) I can see clearly now

The rain is gone

I can see all obstacles in my way

- Quite a party.

- Yeah, it sure is.

Hold on. I have to tweet about this.

And hi there.

(LAUGHING)

Your mom always did have a great laugh.

I'm just glad she's happy.

Are you happy?

Yeah. Of course.

Your mom only wants

what's best for you, you know.

I know.

Unfortunately, she thinks what's best

for you is being exactly like her,

only you're not, Ally.

You may have her looks,

but you have my rhythm, kid.

I'm afraid it's a little offbeat.

I guess that explains

why she's always disappointed in me.

I think it's hard for her to look at you

and see so much of me.

(SONG ENDING)

(SINGING) Thanks for the time

That you've given me

Uh, may I?

Why not?

Thank you. Thank you, sir.

God, I'm sorry. I just couldn't slow-dance

with your mother.

No, that's okay. (LAUGHS)

I think the last time we slow-danced

was prom night.

Yeah. Yeah, it was. I remember that.

I believe that was also the night

where you finally gave me the honor

of making you unfit

for every other man in the village.

Oh, boy.

You're once, twice

Three times a lady

I know this isn't the ideal place to

tell you, but I want to be honest.

You weren't my first.

I wasn't?

No, I'm sorry.

Well, so you've been

with two guys in your life. Big deal.

More like two times 10.

(CHUCKLING) Right. Like you've had sex

with 20 guys. Yuck.

(LAUGHING)

Gross.

Well, all right. I may not have been

your first, but maybe I'll be your last.

Why?

Are you gonna rape and kill me?

No, but I'm gonna kiss you.

With every beat

Of my heart

You're once

Come with me for a second.

Twice

Three times a lady

So, how does dinner in Milan

and breakfast in Paris sound?

Starchy.

I've got to do a little traveling

for the foundation,

and I'd love it if you came with me.

- Seriously?

- Mmm-hmm.

- For how long?

- Six months.

I know it sounds like a long time,

but you're in-between jobs

and your little sculpture things can wait.

And if you think about it, the only thing

that's keeping you in Boston is me,

and I'm leaving.

It's time.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

And I love you

(SONG STOPS ABRUPTLY)

Join me.

Hi, everyone.

[ALL]:
Hi.

When Daisy and Eddie

first got together,

I have to admit I was a

little bit nervous.

I could tell that it was serious,

and I thought that

the closer she got to him,

the further away she'd get from me,

but that didn't happen.

Not only do I see more of Daisy,

I see a happier, even better Daisy.

It's like with Eddie she's

completely herself.

When you're a big sister, it's your job

to teach your little sister everything.

How to ride a bike,

how to lie to your parents.

How to kiss.

Not with tongue.

Settle down, Uncle Charlie.

(SIGHS)

But I never thought

about what my little sister

could teach me until right now.

So, I want to thank you, Daisy.

Thank you for teaching me

that being in love

means being yourself.

To Daisy and Eddie!

- You were great.

- Can we talk?

Yeah. Absolutely.

[ALL SINGING]:

That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh

I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh

That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh

I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh

That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh

Oh, sh*t.

What's going on? Are you okay?

Jake, there actually is something here

in Boston that's really important to me.

And as much as I want to travel the world,

I'm not sure I want to do it with you.

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