What to Expect When You're Expecting
1
(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)
HUTCH:
Welcome back toCelebrity Dance Factor.
I'm Hutch Davidson
and we are live from Hollywood
just moments away from crowning
our season champion.
Now, we've just seen the last dances
from our first two finalists.
Reality television star, Whitney Port.
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
And Miami Heat basketball star,
Dwyane Wade.
(R&B MUSIC PLAYING)
Which brings us to our last, but certainly
not least, finalist of the night.
Everyone's favorite tough love trainer from
the weight-loss show, Lose it and Weep.
Oh, my God, I think I'm gonna throw up.
- We got this. We got this, okay?
- You're right. We can do this.
- Just one more dance. One more dance.
- We know how to do this.
Jules Baxter
and her partner, Evan Webber!
(LATIN JAZZ PLAYING)
(ALL CHEERING)
Alex, quick, come see this!
What are you watching?
Celebrity Dance Factor.
- No.
- It's the finals!
HUTCH:
Even I needLet's turn to our esteemed panel ofjudges.
Tyce? Let's hear your score.
Five stars!
(LOUD CHEERING)
(INDISTINCT)
Okay. Cheryl Cole?
You know what, if I had six stars,
I'd give you the six.
But I've only got five,
so you can have those.
- No. I think D-Wade has it.
- What?
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
And Taboo of The Black Eyed Peas,
let's have your thoughts.
It wasn't for me, so I gave you a three.
- Dude. She's totally doing him.
- No way.
Don't question the sage insights
of Star Buzz.
HUTCH:
We've tallied the judges' scoresand added them to our viewers' votes.
And let me tell you, this is
the closest result we have ever recorded.
May I have the envelope, please?
Thank you.
And the winner of Celebrity Dance Factor,
Season 15 is...
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(SQUEALS) I can't...
Jules Baxter and Evan Webber!
(LAUGHS)
(RETCHING)
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)
Jules? Are you okay?
I'm sorry. So sorry.
Let's hope she's not pregnant, folks.
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
Fireworks!
Book signing. Milk It! the book!
Pictures of breasts inside!
Welcome, everyone, to The Breast Choice.
I'm Wendy Cooper, wearing two hats today
as store owner
and author of my very first
children's book Milk It!
- (SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
- Yay!
So let's get started.
Hi.
"Goats do it.
"Cows do it.
- "Kitties do it.
- (MEOWING)
"Even dolphins in the sea do it.
(MIMICS DOLPHIN)
"When your mommy uses her breasts
to feed a baby
"she is feeding her baby the..."
Tits!
Gary!
GARY:
Okay, okay. Sorry. I got it. I got it.- Hey, kid!
- All right!
- They're called breasts.
- Thank you all for coming.
It was just lovely. And hug your mommies
for breast-feeding you.
- Thank you.
- Bye. Thank you. See you.
- Hey! Great job, hon!
- Did you get that kid?
No. He was too fast.
But I said some choice words.
They were very choice.
Punk. Next time, get him.
Okay. I will. But what's important right now?
That I just had my first reading.
Yeah! Yeah, you did! You did great.
- I gotta get back, okay?
- What? No! Gar!
- Lil Wayne is waiting.
- Can't some other dentist do it?
Squeaks, it's my first grill!
- Right? Yeah.
- All right.
- It's a big deal.
- I was gonna take you to lunch, but okay.
Next time, all right?
Congratulations! Great job!
(TRIUMPHANT TONE PLAYING
ON CELL PHONE)
- (GASPS) Gar!
- Yeah?
(TARZAN YELL PLAYING
ON CELL PHONE)
Two minutes.
- I gotta go.
- Honey!
- Honey, I got to go, I got...
- Honey!
- Janice!
- Yeah.
I'm taking Gary in the back.
Look, we can do this the easy way
or we can do this the hard way.
And I get it, you're naked, you're vulnerable
but this is a safe place, you know.
No need to resort to cheap theatrics.
We're better than that, right? We're artists.
So, let's just keep it dignified.
(GURGLES)
Look, kid.
(WHISPERING) If you don't smile, your mom
doesn't buy any prints and I don't get paid.
So, suck it up.
All right, baby. You like it when I'm bossy?
(LAUGHS) Okay! Okay.
Work the feet. Show me those gums!
That's it, baby!
(LAUGHS)
Oh, Holly, these are amazing.
Well, I can give you 20 % off
- (VOMITING)
- Oh!
- Oh, my God! I am so sorry.
- Okay! (LAUGHS)
That's okay. It happens.
You know the last guy
who threw up on me?
You know what I did? I married him.
You're so good with kids.
You should have one of your own.
Yeah. That's kind of the plan.
Well, don't wait too long.
You don't wanna miss your window.
Right.
Yeah! Let's get you cleaned up. Yeah.
GARY:
Ooh! What do you got?WENDY:
Some wine, cheese and crackers,your favorites.
GARY:
Oh, that's a real treat.- (CORK POPS)
- So what's the movie anyway?
WENDY:
Dirty Dancing.- Oh! All right! That's a good one. Yeah.
- Mmm-hmm.
(CLEARS THROAT)
What are you...
I would like to propose a toast.
Okay. But you haven't had a drink
in two years.
I just...
I think we should take a break from trying.
And just be us for a while.
All right. I'll drink to that. Sure.
(SIGHS) To us.
And if that doesn't work
And if that doesn't work,
we'll just adopt, which will be great,
because I have no fears,
genetic or otherwise.
To us.
To not snuffing out the flame.
- Okay.
- Okay.
What are you doing? Oh, my God!
Are you gonna go for it?
- Mmm-hmm.
- You're going for it. You did it.
You just... You crushed it.
Oh, my God, I'm wasted. (LAUGHS)
Yeah, I bet you are!
It's so good. Why have I wasted two years
not drinking this?
(HORN HONKS)
Oh, my God! The Big Pig is here.
- I didn't even get a tweet!
- MARCO:
All right, people.It's swine time, let's go!
What do you want, bud?
Yeah, give me two carnitas tacos
and a jalapeno fritter.
Good man. You have your cardiologist
on speed dial, right?
Right? You do, right? Hey, girls.
How are you?
Best meal on wheels right here.
Tell that to my cheese and bacon panini.
Total foodgasm.
Bacon?
Have a good night.
Bacon.
You know what? I'm also gonna get
the Georgia Dog Special.
- Yo, chef. Where're you going?
- Two seconds.
I added to my order.
I can't do anything with gloves on.
ROSIE:
What can I get you guys?All right, excellent choice.
Hey! What do you think you're doing?
There's a line if you want to order.
The only thing I'm ordering is for you
to stop serving bacon, okay? Pig's our turf.
(SCOFFS)
Oh, my God! Your turf?
- Yeah.
- Is this West Side Story?
Are we gonna rumble at midnight?
You know what, maybe I got
a whole gang of back-up dancers
- just ready to go, okay?
- Oh, wow!
You're the cheese truck, so stick to cheese.
- Can I order now?
- No! Just give me one second, please.
That's funny, 'cause I noticed that those
jalapeno fritters you guys are serving...
Are awesome, right? They're my invention.
I made them.
They have ricotta cheese in them.
Come on! That's like a little bit of cheese.
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"What to Expect When You're Expecting" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/what_to_expect_when_you're_expecting_23292>.
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