What Women Want

[Woman] Do you know

the expression ''a man's man'' ?

A man's man

is the leader of the pack.

The kind of man other men

look up to, admire and emulate.

A man's man

is the kind of man who...

[Chuckles] just doesn 't get

what women are about.

Nick, my ex-husband,

is the ultimate man's man.

I probably never

should have married him.

I don't think he understood

a thing about me.

So, this is Nick Marshall's office.

Wanna peek ?

Don't worry.

He never gets in before 10:00.

He'll send you on more errands than

anyone in the entire company...

'cause he can't do

anything for himself.

He's the least politically

correct guy in the universe.

He's the king of all

the T & A ads we do.

You want babes in bikinis ?

He's your man.

My dad ? How can I

best describe him ?

He's always been...

like an uncle to me.

Yeah, Uncle Dad.

Although,

Nick was a charmer.

Completely irresistible

at first,

which feeds into

the whole ''man's man'' thing.

You know about

Nick's mother, right ?

Because once you understand

about Nick's mother,

you understand Nick.

[Woman] Nick was actually

born and raised in Las Vegas.

Nick's mother was a real,

honest-to-God Las Vegas showgirl.

When otherboys were outside

riding their bikes and playing ball,

Nick was backstage

hanging with the girls.

He was their mascot,

their little pet.

They couldn 't get enough

of those baby blues.

- Bang ! Bang !

- [ Laughs ]

lf you ask me, I'd say Nick's

mother just about killed it...

for every woman

Nick would ever meet.

She had a lot of sugardaddies

in her life,

but only one true love--

the boy

with the family jewels.

Let me see that, kid.

And since Nick

didn 't have a father,

his mom made sure he was always

surrounded by strong role models.

- Come here, huh ?

- [ Screams ]

- Men her boy could look up to.

- Now you're ready, huh ?

Keep countin', kid.

There was nothing normal about

the way Nick Marshall was raised.

So, what can you expect ?

You don't have to be Freud

to figure out...

this was one cockeyed way

to enter the world.

[ Groaning ]

Oh !

Don't you ever knock ?

It's almost 10:
00. You gotta go

to work, and I gotta vacuum in here.

And don't forget - Another one

who wears vanilla perfume.

Don't you know any women

who don't want to smell like candy ?

- Toss me my lighter, babe ?

- Babe ?

What am I,

a little pig ?

I don't have time

to make you no onion bagel,

so please do not start

to beg, okay ?

And for the record, l don't like

finding these things in your sofa.

What kind of woman

wears underwear like this ?

Hey, my mother wore

underwear like that.

Just put them somewhere,

will you, babe ?

Well, ''babe'' is gonna put it

in the trash where it belongs.

- So, your mother should excuse me.

- [ Sighs ]

Did you ever consider dating

a woman who wears real underwear?

The kind that covers the entire

bottom the way it's supposed to ?

- No. But if I do, should I call ?

- Oh !

I'm gonna go clean

the kitchen.

You couldn't toast me

a little bagel, could you ?

Light cream cheese, tomatoes.

Capers if we have any.

Please! Come on.

l can't think on an empty stomach.

Okay. Allright. But only because

you didn 't call me that pig name.

Okay, you got it, babe.

Mr. Marshall,

how are you doing today ?

- I'm fit as a dancing bear.

- I'll get that cab for you.

- [ Whistles ]

- That's some set of pipes you got.

- You have an excellent day, sir.

- And you.

At ease.

- [ Gasps ]

- Oh, oh, I'm so sorry !

I absolutely

did not mean to do that.

- Here. Let me get that for you.

- It's okay.

No, I'm mortified.

I can see your hands are full.

- Thank you.

- Sorry. Let me get the door.

[ Grunts ]

- [ Giggles ] Thank you.

- Thank you.

Halfcup, grande, nonfat,

thick foam, wet cap, no lid.

''Halfcaff,'' grande, nonfat,

thick foam, wet cap, no lid.

- So, when do you find out ?

- Um, today, I think.

Unless I didn't get it, and then

I will just never find out.

I'm sure I didn't get it. They were

looking for an ''earth mother'' type.

I overheard the director

say I was more space cadet.

I'm an actress.

I can be whatever you want.

- Is that true, can you ?

- Oh, better be true.

Otherwise, I'm stuck playing ditsy

coffee girl the rest of my life.

Thank you.

Hon ? Thanks.

Oh ! Hi, Nick. Hi.

Oh, Lola, my love. When are you

gonna let me buy you dinner ?

Nick, I don't know why you don't

believe me. I'm not your type.

Trust me on this one. Cappuccino,

extra foam. Tall or grande ?

Grande. Or at least

I like to think so.

- Next.

- You know, rumor has it...

I'm getting some really

big news at work today.

At least come out with me.

Celebrate. I'll buy you a coffee.

Memo to you:

I work in a coffee shop.

Hi. What can I get you ?

- Hi. I'll take--

- Want me to stop asking you out ?

Sorry. This will

just take a sec.

Because, Lola,

give me the word and I'll stop.

Yes, I'm gonna give you the word

because I'm an actress.

Or at least I'm trying to be one.

I'm trying to concentrate on that.

So, you know, it would be

a good thing, if you wouldn't mind,

to stop asking me out !

Honey, you seem

so stressed.

I am stressed.

I have a lot on my plate.

So, let's not talk

about this now.

Why don't I meet you here,

say, tomorrow ? 1 0:00 ? 1 0:30 ?

- Okay, that would be good.

- So, that's a date ?

It's a date.

Thank you.

Sir,

that was inspiring.

I know.

[Woman]

Good morning, Sloane-Curtis.

- Good morning, Mr. Marshall.

- Hi, honey.

- What's the dirt ?

- I was at breakfast this morning--

- Hey, Norm ! You winning ?

- Of course.

I heard Miller's shopping around,

looking for a new agency.

Miller Lite. I know.

I'm all over it.

Also, I heard Darcy McGuire left

B.B.D. & O. Good morning, Angela.

-You're kidding. Left or was fired ?

-I don't know.

Everyone there

is thrilled to get rid of her.

Well, so much for

edgy female vision.

So, that girl we met

last night at the club,

nothing happened after

you put her in the cab, right ?

It did ?

Something happened ?

But she said she had to

be in bed early.

I had her in bed by 11:00.

Or was it quarter to ?

You - You're like a genius,

you know that ?

What can I tell you, buddy ? I'm

blessed. And today is my lucky day.

Not only is my ex-wife remarrying--

right now, as a matter of fact--

but Wanamaker called me himself,

wanted to see me first thing.

- Called twice to confirm.

- Call me when he makes it official.

It's not gonna be as easy to suck up

to ''creative director,'' you know.

Not to worry. I'll make us a lunch

rez at the Drake to celebrate.

Don't count your chickens,

huh ? 1:
00 ?

Pick you up.

Can I borrow this ?

- Hey, Dina.

- Hi.

Do you know the difference

between a wife and a job ?

- What is it ?

- After ten years, job still sucks.

- [ Laughing ]

- That's a good one, huh ?

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

That's not a good idea, no.

- Oh, Mr. Marshall, hi.

- Hey.

I put the storyboards on your desk.

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