When a Man Loves a Woman

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When a man loves a woman

Can't keep his mind

on nothin' else

He'll trade the world for

the good thing he's found

If she is bad he can't see it

She can do no wrong

Turn his back

on his best friend

If he put her down

When a man loves a woman

Spend his very last dime

Tryin' to hold on

to what he needs

He'll give up all his comforts

And sleep out in the rain

- If she said that's the way it ought to be

- Hey, that looks good.

That sandwich. Looks good.

You on your lunch hour?

When a man loves a woman

- Any news in the paper?

- Would you like to read a section of this?

No, thanks. I, uh,

actually read for a living.

- So, the last thing I want to be

doing on my lunch hour- - Oh, excuse me.

- Sorry. Excuse me, miss.

- Yeah.

Baby, please don't treat me bad

- Okay?

- Yeah.

When a man loves a woman

- What?

- Where you going after this?

- Why would you be asking that?

- Ah, I am a pilot.

And I'm gonna barely make

my flight to Seattle-Tacoma...

and I haven't had a chance

to pick up my laundry.

- And?

- I thought you could pick it up for me.

Oh, I'd give you the money

and everything.

Here's the receipt and $30.

That should cover it.

What do you propose that I do with

your laundry after I pick it up?

Good question.

Here's the keys to my place.

The address is on the,

uh, little thing.

And I will be there

at about 12:
30 and...

- you can bring it by then.

- After midnight?

- Uh, excuse me., Actually, sir, I

was- - No, no, hold on one second,

- If I could impose one further question.

- Okay.

Why wouldn't I drop off your

laundry at my convenience...

since I have your key?

Because then I wouldn't be able

to thank you properly.

Oh, I see.

And how would you do that?

I would give you something...

that you can take away with you.

- And what might that be?

- Oh, you want to know up front?

Oh, yeah.

Excuse me.

I bake.

You bake?

You bake!

You like... chocolate.

I'm allergic... to chocolate.

Do you like carrot cake?

Very much.

Well, then?

Cream cheese frosting?

My specialty.

- Check it out.

- Look.

She's so lucky.

- Jesus!

- Whoa.

Cable guy come this morning?

No? That's three weeks those kids

are without adult movies.

What a f***in' world.

Hey, that looks good.

Is that Chablis?

Does anyone have, like,

a towel or something?

Now, this is you, inside.

Not inside the dress,

inside the body.

- How did I get in there?

- That's a whole other set of videos.

And they won't

let you watch those.

- Give me this.

- There you are.

Why wasn't your

real daddy there?

- You say the dumbest things.

- I'm four years old.

- Guys!

- Mom, can you tell her?

Oh! I married your daddy...

because he made me a cake

with cream cheese frosting.

That's how much he wanted me.

How come Daddy wanted you?

God, woman, just look at her.

Oop, late!

Second team, take over.

Porsche. Jesus, one more time.

Amy?

Jess has to do her homework tonight so

she doesn't leave it for the weekend.

Let's go. Amy, did you get that?

Which part were you

afraid I missed?

- Amy?

- Sorry.

Happy anniversary.

It's a press-on tattoo!

It says, "If found naked,

please return to Alice Green. "

It's to wear on trips so that the

stewardesses know you're spoken for.

- Flight attendants.

- Flight attendants, whatever.

Very thoughtful.

- I went over the 20 bucks.

- Oh, hey, I didn't go over the 20 bucks.

- Really?

- Yeah.

You rat.

That's incredible.

Now I'm gonna have to do

that thing to you tonight.

I think she wants you, baby.

- Hello, how're you doing?

- Fine.

- Mm, you're a good dancer.

- Thank you.

Ooh! Thanks.

- How was he?

- He was great!

Happy anniversary.

- Oh!

- What?

- Porsche again.

- Oh, honey.

Come here. No, no, no. Alice?

- Honey.

- Goddamn it.

Hey, it's 1:
00 in the morning.

People are trying to have sex up here!

Alice, there's nobody down there.

You're talking to a car.

Goddamn it!

Alice.

- Alice.

- What a piece of sh*t. Damn it.

- Alice.

- Goddamn it. Shut up!

- Alice! Alice!

- Goddamn it!

- Alice, am I gonna like this?

- Here.

Shut up!

Sh*t!

F***ing foreign car!

Okay, batter up!

Right here! Hey, batter, batter,

batter, batter, batter, batter!

Right here. Come on,

baby. Let's go.

I'll start your shower.

You're not suggesting

I go to work?

Yes.

Okay. You promise

no one will be loud?

Six hundred kids? Sure.

Go on.

Get dressed, sugar.

We're runnin' late.

See, I'm not sure that

Matthew Wasserman's...

glance at your breasts rises to

the level of sexual harassment.

Well, what if he said,

"You know you want it. "

- Did he?

- No.

- But what if he did?

- Well, that would be closer.

I think if we can get him to lift up

your dress, we can put him away.

So, uh...

what is the deal with cutting

language lab- Sh*t!

Another self-mutilation day.

I'm checking on availability

for end-of-the-day wind-down.

Oh, come on. My problem's gotta

be more sordid than Shannon's.

Okay, a quick one.

Michael's got a trip.

Yes.

- Hi. - Hey. -

Where's Alice?

That's right, where's Alice?

Bye.

Amy! Amy! Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy,

Amy, Amy.

Listen, I, uh, got a trip.

I'm late, and Wayne's supposed to

meet me. I've got no way to call him.

He's waiting at my Lamaze class.

I just can't not show up. I-

Amy, Amy, uh, this is important.

I got a trip.

You're not saying my life

is less important?

Of course not.

I didn't think so. Bye.

She didn't come home.

I did notice that.

- I have a trip.

- What if she doesn't get back?

Well, I'll just go down to the corner

and offer the first person I see...

- five bucks to stay with you.

- Michael.

Okay, ten bucks.

You're so pretty.

Twenty minutes, lights out.

- Okay?

- Okay.

You're okay.

I've called everyone we know.

Hospitals, the school.

- You're up.

- I'm supposed to be up.

I'm just supposed to be

doing it in Chicago.

Hey! Stop that.

You got a trip.

Really?

I better get a move on.

I forgot that. I'm sorry.

I owe you a trip.

What happened?

- We went for a drink.

- Pam? - Yeah, Pam.

My friend. She needed me.

She needed to talk.

She needed me 'cause

Joe is an a**hole.

I'm glad she needed you 'cause

she's the one who got you.

- Nobody else got a f***ing phone call.

- We were just talking.

She was crying and, and, uh-

Ah, when I looked at the time,

I just figured you were asleep.

So, uh-

I- I-I don't know how

I forgot the trip.

I don't know either.

Christ, Michael.

You don't know what I go through.

You don't have a f***ing clue.

- What do you go through?

- My job, for one.

The girls and,

and running this place...

and I know a lot of women

go through the same thing...

but their husbands

aren't gone half the time.

I miss you...

when you go.

You got pressures,

you come to me.

Why do that to you? What are you

supposed to do with all that?

You let me worry about that.

I'm gonna trade Ed Buckley for a trip to

Mexico for a week and we're gonna disappear.

Would you like that?

Would you like to disappear?

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