Where's the Money Page #7

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I'll make it be enough.

$20.

$25.

- $25.

- $30!

-35!

- $35!

40!

Forty... two.

$50!

$42 going once!

I just said 50!

$42 going twice!

-50!

- Sold to the women in the red dress!

Are you, deaf, a**hole?!

This is not how auctions work,

dumbass.

Nice work, buttersworth.

Hey, go get 'em.

So. I haven't seen you around before.

Yeah, well, we should talk.

It's a nice night.

You wanna go for a walk?

Nah, I got something

special for you.

Follow me.

Oh, yeah, I'm gonna tear

this mother down.

Uh-huh, yeah! Yeah!

Oh, found you.

Oh, yeah,

i found the money!

I found the-

so I had one of

my clueless pledges

clean this place

with a toothbrush!

Actually, let's go for a drink

at the bar out back.

- No, no, no, no, no.

- Let's get out of here.

The thing is I got us

all covered.

- Okay, I'm coming.

- Come on.

I got us covered down here.

- You bid on me, right?

- That's right.

Voila, I whipped up

this little surprise

just for the occasion.

Wow.

You did all of this?

- That's impressive.

- Yeah.

Let's get out of here,

I'm feeling claustrophobic.

Whoa, whoa, there's no need

to be so anxious.

You want to talk,

let's talk.

Let's talk.

Let's get to know

each other better.

What are you looking at-

- you.

- Your titties?

Yeah, I'm looking at you.

This is dope.

So, uh...

Feel like maybe

a lap dance?

Sure. Oh, yeah.

Go ahead.

No, I meant

you give me one.

A man giving a woman

a lap dance...

It's an instant

panty dropper.

What?

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

All you can handle.

- Yeah?

- Okay, all right.

You're on

some feminism sh*t.

Got the empowered woman.

Well, bring it, girl.

Okay. Here we go.

Whoo!

Yeah,

already getting so sexy.

So good.

Keep doing it.

- Yeah, you like that?

- Getting super wet over it.

Yeah, tell me

what you want, baby.

Just keep looking at me.

Oh, my god.

- Whoo! Okay!

- Love it. Yeah.

Take something off.

- Whoo! Yeah!

- So hot.

- See that belly button?

- Flash it again.

- Oh? Oh.

- Yeah, oh, my god.

- I love it.

- Yeah, it's an innie-outie.

It's like in,

but it's out. Whoo!

Keep facing

towards me, yeah.

Oh, my, oh!

Oh, my god, so dangerous!

Yeah, it's like Justin beiber

and Austin powers

had a baby, and it's you.

- Oh, that's my belly button!

- Oh, my god, get it off!

And there are your pants

coming off.

Oh, my god.

Oh, my- it's so hot.

Yeah, do that thing.

What is that?

- Is that a dab?

- That's called the dab.

That's so good.

And then I'll dab it

over here.

- No!

- Sh*t, ow, girl!

Yeah, face down, ass up.

That's the way

we like to f***!

You filthy, girl.

I love it.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, all right.

Man, this like

a new experience for me.

I feel both degraded

and empowered.

Is that what it's like

to be a woman?

You still there, baby? Oh!

Keep your face away.

Yeah, I'm a bad boy.

I think I need to be spanked.

- Spanked?

- Ooh!

- Yeah?

- Go on. I've been a bad boy.

Punish me, girl!

I'm so bad.

Put something on it, girl.

I'm ready.

Ooh! F***! Sh*t!

That stings!

You're insane, girl!

Mm! I'm sorry!

God...

I'm in charge here.

I clearly can't trust you.

I'm gonna have

to tie you up.

- Yeah.

- Keep facing the wall, b*tch.

Tighter, baby. Ooh.

- Time for the blindfold.

- Oh, oh, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

- Yeah.

- Like that?

Yes, ma'am, damn.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, it's kind of wet.

Yeah?

Y- yeah.

How do you think

it got that way?

Okay.

You pungent

as you is beautiful, okay.

But now it's my turn,

all right?

Okay, yeah. Yeah.

I'm in charge now.

Look, I know you're

not used to this,

but I'm a brother

who's not afraid

to go down on a girl.

So you just go ahead

and you hike that skirt up

and get some ready

for some heaven, okay?

Here we go.

You excited, okay, girl.

- I get it. Oh!

- Ooh! So excited.

Oh, damn you, like,

got it all '70s and sh*t.

Yeah.

I can dig it natural.

- Oh.

- Don't stop, oh, yeah.

You ever had someone beatbox?

Keep going all night,

baby.

Don't stop for any...

Reason.

Oh, sh*t, your p*ssy's

squeaking a little bit.

Here we go, here we go.

Hey, what's up, everybody?

Hey,

we got the money-

no, hey, no snapchat,

no instagram, no nothing, man.

How's your phone

even working?

Ya'll ain't got

no boost mobile?

All right, man,

stop with the pictures.

Open that sh*t up,

let's see what we got.

Get it, baby!

How does it smell?

How does it feel?

We got a blockbuster DVD

of encino man.

- Say what?

- Yep, take a look.

Oh, we got a mix tape,

the "big Booty grind" mix.

Big Booty grind?

The f*** is that?

- We got a zima.

- The money, look-

- oh, it's a note.

- What?

"Dear kappa Alpha chi

brothers of the future.

We are burying this time capsule

in the wall of our house

in hopes that you will

one day uncover it

and see how your ancestors

partied.

What is the future like?

Are there blow-job robots?"

A f***ing time capsule?

What's a time capsule?

No money?

Everybody gonna get

their dick shot off.

I do love

encino man, though.

- Yo, yo, del-

- f***!

Sh*t! F***! F***!

Man, this is your car!

Gimme that thing!

F*** this sh*t!

We tried.

It's over.

If we got in the basement once,

we can get in there again.

How? We barely

got in there tonight.

Uncle Leon's gonna track us

down, and it's over.

What don't y'all get?

I'm done with this sh*t,

for real this time.

Wow.

Del goodlow not following

through on something.

I can't believe it.

And what's that

supposed to mean?

You've never seen anything

through in your whole life.

But then your dad told you

about the money,

and I saw a side of you

I've never seen before.

You were taking charge.

Coming up with plans,

trying to do right by your mom,

charming your way

into a rich frat house.

I mean,

for a second there?

I was actually

impressed by you.

You know, I thought

you were doing this

to save those friends

of yours from Leon,

but if you're giving up,

then I guess not.

I mean, what do

you care, right?

Least you got

your sneakers and weed.

You think I don't care?

I got more at stake in this

than both of y'all.

What am I supposed to do,

huh, go in there with a bat

over uncle Leon's skull?

- What's that gonna get me?

- A broken bat, most likely.

He's- he's pretty solid.

Look, Alicia,

I'm not backing down.

I just don't know

how to go forward either.

There they are!

I hope you don't mind.

I got in a few reps

while I was waiting.

So... what's it gonna be?

Money bags or a body bags?

W- well, definitely not

the body bags.

But, uh, we-

we ran into some problems.

Long s- you don't

wanna hear the story.

But we don't have the money

right now, so...

No, no, no,

don't reach back there.

You don't need the gun.

- That is disappointing.

- Look, like I said before,

we tried to get the money,

and we failed.

You can't win 'em all,

am I right?

Relatable?

Put the gun down.

You know how many times

in my life I said "i tried"?

Say like maybe ten?

Ten, fifteen-?

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